Bot Hunters Audition

Early this morning, my daughter and I left the house to have breakfast at the coffee shop, We then took a bus over to Aliwal Street where she was auditioning for Bot Hunters, a game show on Okto.

We registered for the audition and both Lani and her friend were interviewed. Lani as always, a natural in front of the camera.Then I was expecting parents would be able to go in to watch or sit around and wait but we were left outside waiting for over an hour for our kids to finish with their auditions.

But it was good because I got to see all kinds of people. I mainly noticed there were two different types of parents. One would be the parent like me…. Only there because our kid wanted so much to do this and wanted so much to be on television. Then you have the other kind of parent who is the total opposite… they would be making sure their kids’ attire is alright, make up on, nagging at their kids and making sure they drilled info into their kids’ heads….

It’s because of parents like that, I stayed away from competitions. If not, I think Lani would have won many contests and gone very far. She started taking part in beauty pageants since she was 18 months old. She would get into the finals but we would stop there. We would take her finalist trophy and prize and run. I've seen how these parents push their kids at the finals,… yell at them, etc. I don’t need to put my child through that. I put her in these competitions to expose her to not being shy, to teach her that winning is not everything, and for memories. She enjoyed it and as long as she did, and as long as she wanted, we would sign her up.

Some parents really have got to get their priorities straight. Do they want this for the benefit of their kids or themselves?

Back in the USA, lots of these beauty pageant mum’s push their kids ..you see these kids crying and you feel so sorry for them.

In Singapore, you have the same kind of parents and they also push their kids with tuition classes, piano, golf, ballet, etc. Sometimes these kids have a busier schedule than I do. Gosh. Let kids be kids. Let them enjoy their childhood. They won’t ever get that again. Build good memories.

I am a chillex parent. I don’t believe in all these extra activities, UNLESS of course, my kids show an interest and tell me, “hey mum, I would like to take up …..”

That was the kind of childhood I had and a childhood I fondly remember. And that is exactly the kind of childhood I would like my kids to have. No pressure. No stress. To just be able to be themselves and do their best.

So that was how this whole audition started…. Lani had seen it being advertised on TV and said she would like to try it.  I again explained to her that whether she gets in or not, winning isn't everything and that at least she had done her best.

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Many parents like myself and my hubby are concerned about competitions and its effect on children. However, there are also parents who feel that competition is nothing to worry about. Our daughter took part in her first competition when she was 18 months old. We discussed it for weeks before deciding that it wouldn't hurt and we will know when to draw the line when the time comes. Mostly, we wanted the exposure and we wanted keepsakes and memories.

I've come to agree that moderate competition is good for children, but extreme competition can devastate a child.

I've also read that temperament, culture, talent and the age of the child affects how they will handle a competition. Children are not born with a competitive urge. They learn it. And by age 10 or 11, they could handle defeat gracefully (well, most anyway). We’re proud that our daughter handled defeat gracefully by age 5. That is because we always stressed how much we’re proud of her no matter what.

Children differ in temperament. Some thrive on attention and competition and others become nervous wrecks when they are asked to perform before two or three people. I know this for a fact because that’s the personality of my two kids.

We have always treated our children as the individuals that they are. We don’t feel a need to push an already competitive child to compete although we sometimes encourage our son who is the more reluctant one but who shows so much potential.

My son, since the day he was born, he’s been a quiet, shy and smart boy. He doesn't fancy competitions and is happy with who he is and what he is. He’s also very confident. Unlike my daughter, she’s a confident girl…too confident I must say. However, she loves a good fight. She enjoys healthy competitions and being in the lime light. She just enjoys the attention!

As I mentioned, it’s different with each individual child.

Competition definitely can be good because it can help a child develop a healthy attitude about winning and losing. They become competitive as they refine and practice skills and develop coordination and cognitive abilities. Competition can also encourage growth and push a child to excel. 

Of course there are things about competition that we need to be aware of too. It can also harm a child if the child isn't motivated properly by the parents or assured that no matter what, they are still great. Competition can shatter the loser, undermine self-confidence and humiliate. It could also insult self-worth. And the biggest harm a competition can do to a child is when it is done just for the parents’ benefit!!

It’s funny how two kids can differ so much from each other. I laugh each time I look at both my kids.

My son is a typical 7-year-old. He is eager to learn and want to do activities for himself. He’s got a short attention span and play for fun. He wants to be the winner and wants to be first.  But that is natural for a child his age. Even so, we try to instill the same thing with him, … that winning isn't everything and no matter what, he will always be great and perfect in our eyes.

For children between the age of 9 years and 12 years, they try hard to be good and to please others. They do their duty, show respect for authority and follow fixed rules. They do try to maintain order. They are also more rational and logical and can see more than one side to an issue.  This scares me when I think about it actually, because my daughter showed all the above since age 5. But we always knew she was mature and developed faster than most kids her age.

How did we help our children succeed in competitive situations?

We took time to play with them. We encouraged them to flex their competitive muscles in a secure environment that helped them learn they can lose a game without losing self-confidence. We stressed about the basics of fair play, good sportsmanship, putting forth good effort and winning or losing gracefully.

For now, we will continue to encourage our children to grow. We will always make sure they are all winners and will always find special ways to reward them when necessary. We will always emphasize the importance of doing one’s best.

Before I end, I have one thing to say to the rest of the parents who push their child and pressure them into doing things they do not enjoy….

DON’T RELIVE YOUR LIFE through your child. Avoid over involvement. Always keep a healthy attitude towards competition.

My Two Precious Gems

Two days ago, I posted a photo of my kids waiting in line at the Yishun MRT Passenger Service Counter. They were there to return an ATM card they had found.

The first thing my son said when he found the ATM card was, “We have got to return this!” … and so they did. Both my gems waited patiently and proudly in line and gave it to the officer behind the counter who in return gave them a thumbs up. And the next thing that came out of my 7-year-old son’s mouth was, “It sure does feel great to do the right thing.”

… Anyway, that FB post have received more than 70 likes and 2 of the likes came from two Singapore ministers, Viviam Balakrishnan and Teo Chee Hean. I've also received very lovely compliments.

Some of the compliments were, “Excellent Parenting”, “You have done good”, “good upbringing”, etc.

It has made me feel so proud as a parent so hear these wonderful compliments. But most of all, I am so proud of both my children for who they are and for the perfect adults they will one day grow in to.

Raising decent, caring, and responsible children is the most complex and challenging job in every parent’s life and an increasingly difficult one in today’s society. I honestly don’t want to steal the credit for the little wonderful people my kids are because if you asked me, I couldn't tell you what I did right when it comes to them being so compassionate. We are not the kind of parents who would keep harping about how our kids need to be kind, blah blablah….  But it’s in our nature and I suppose our kids sees it.

I was the same way as a child. I remember I would take my own money to give it to a beggar outside of Katong Shopping Center whenever I passed him. I would save 20 cents every day from my pocket money because I knew come Friday, my grandfather would get me from school and I would spend the weekend at their house…so by Friday, I would have $1 and it would be enough to buy my grandpa a bottle of ice-cream soda which was his favourite. 

But if I recall, it is not something that was taught to me. It was something I saw happening in my family and it was from there that I naturally followed.

My kids do the same thing today. They would buy tissues from the old folks who sells them at hawker centres, they are very much involved in charity performances when the opportunity is there. Every December, we will clear out their toys and give it to the Salvation Army….

I suppose that being a parent means that you are responsible for laying the foundation of your children’s future. Without that foundation, they will have nothing to build on. We are solely responsible for the education of our child’s early years as this is when they will absorb the most information and habits.

The early years is when our children develop their personalities…how they will treat and respond to other people. So I suppose that’s where my husband and I unknowingly excelled in. Haha….  But then again, that’s the kind of people we are. We are kind and whenever we can afford, we give to charity and our kids watch us do it.

We are not perfect parents but we try. I don’t want my children to just be good as in well behaved but I want them to be well rounded, comfortable in making good decisions and confident in being an achiever in life. Because this will make all the difference as they get older. It’s the beginning years when we want to lay the ground work, for the rest of their lives. How we treat them is how they will treat us when we are 80 years old.

I hope I will have enough time to instill respect, responsibility, and accountability in them.

I love watching my children grow up right before my eyes but wish they would stay small forever. They are my heart and soul, my “best thing that ever happened to me”, the source of many laughs and a few tears.

Parenting to me is NOT all about the trips to the park, playing games and having fun…it is about teaching your children values, morals and responsibility. The greatest gift you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.

In my life, I have received lots of compliments but the best compliment ever? When someone compliments my children.

“Don’t raise your kids to have more than you had. Raise them to be more than you were.”

Cyclists: Finally The Town Council Have Woken Up

I woke up to some good news today. A few of my friends on Facebook had tagged this photo (below) to me. I guess they know me too well and know I always complain about these idiot cyclists who think they have the right of way on pavements.

Finally the Town Council have woken up and are doing something about these morons. I just hope they will continue to do this and will soon dispatch more officers to other parts of the neighbourhood to fine the rest of these idiots who cycle so fast on pavements and ring their bells asking people to move aside when we have the right of way to walk. I feel these officers should actually wait around schools at the start and the dismissal times because I have seen a lot of cyclists riding so fast and endangering the lives of the children.

Kudos to the Town Council for this.

However, I have another question, why did they block out the faces of the idiots who were caught?? Should name them and shame them…. Teach them a lesson and they will never do this again! Ha! (Anyone wants to vote me for President?)

Almost everyday I will fight with these moron cyclists who would ring that bell and expect me to move aside for them. Worse is when these clowns are cycling right under the SIGN that says NO CYCLING! I tell them off or yell at them and being an illiterate, they will fight back thinking they are still in the right.

On the same subject on moron cyclists, I came across this Facebook post on “SG Cyclists” FB Page….

They have the audacity to post this comment, “What the f**k is happening? Fine cyclist for cycling? What are you thinking East Coast Town Council. Then what do you expect cyclist to do? Fly? Levitate?"

And you thought I was kidding when I say these people are morons?

Every decent well brought up human being knows that we expect cyclists to follow the rules. When you see a sign that says NO CYCLING, don’t f**king cycle. Who died and made you boss and thus able to break the rules? You want to cycle? Cycle on the damn roads you fools! If not, you have two perfectly good legs so f**king park your bike and WALK!

First World Singapore….

So it seems that our First World Country may be turning into something else with all these FTs causing such a raucous here lately.

But what happened at Holland Village MRT Station yesterday takes the cake.

A woman was seen defecating at the MRT station!! Literally, pulled down her pants and underwear in broad daylight in front of God and everyone else, and took a shit like a dog (“bitch”) would do!

I am actually lost for words. And yes, we shouldn't all assume she was a foreigner but we can’t help it. We've been independent for 49 years and have never seen such a thing as disgusting until now…so you tell me…. 

I agree majority of the Singaporeans are rude and un-mannered, spitting everywhere, coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths, and a few other things, BUT no Singaporean would be so shameless to take a shit in public no matter how urgent we were!! It’s not our “culture”. At most, they would let their kids take a piss wherever they are at and when needed but even so that is so wrong. BUT for a grown person to shit in public??

SMRT claims they could not catch the woman as by the time their staff arrived at the scene, she was already gone. So maybe we will never know whether this woman was a Singaporean or a foreigner. I should still start taking bets just in case they do find out…haha…. BUT betting is stupid because majority of the Singaporeans would bet on the same Nationality!

Meanwhile, the news of the incident has spread on the Internet with media from Hong Kong and Taiwan picking it up. The news was also posted on a popular Chinese forum where PRCs usually participate in discussions.

Obviously they are bitter about it because maybe somehow the truth hurts. I especially want to smack the one who said “Does China need to care about the feelings of Singaporeans?”

YES they need to you dumb f**k when you’re working in our country and taking up our precious oxygen. Likewise for anyone who goes to any country to work or study or live….you NEED to be considerate and follow their rules and laws. It is that simple unless it is not in your culture to obey the rules?

So what do you think? I know what I think and if I said it out loud, they’d probably jail me. Ha.

Whatever it is, I decided to have some fun and let my “creative juices” flow and came up with this….it should be the new signs at MRT stations.

Goodbye Funny Man Robin Williams

My heart has been broken into pieces. My favourite funny man Robin Williams has passed away at age 63.

When I saw “Robin Williams hanged by belt in apparent suicide” I prayed it was another hoax on Facebook. But it wasn't. Robin was found hanged in the bedroom of his home, with a belt around his neck and slight wounds to his wrist. Apparently he had been grappling with severe depression.

Robin Williams was a comedy legend! Watching his movies, he would make me laugh and cry. I could watch his stand up comedy skits online for hours and never got sick of it. I loved all the quotes he had come up with! He was one actor I had hoped to meet and wondered what he would be like in real life.

It’s even more sad to realize that a person who was so funny on film, who made the whole world laugh, who cheered everyone up when they were sad just by watching him…was actually depressed himself. There didn't seem to be much Robin Williams couldn't do. He spent a career entertaining us and making us laugh. He used humour to bring others happiness, which made it all the more heartbreaking to learn of his suicide.

Who could have given back to him what he gave the world? Who could have made him laugh when he was sad just like he did for the rest of us when we were sad?

It’s impossible to understand how someone so cheerful on the outside could have actually been suffering on the inside. I am certain his family and friends tried everything to keep him happy but depression is actually a battle.

Everyone feels sad at some point or another. Depression, or feeling sad is a normal emotion. We feel sad when we encounter disappointments in life or the loss of a loved one. However, for most of us, over time we learn to overcome our problems or accept the changes in our lives. But for others, the depression can become so severe that it dominates their lives and prevents them from coping as they used to.

Depression of this degree is not just a passing ‘blue mood’… it is an illness that needs to be treated. It will affect the body, mood and thoughts to a point of dysfunction. It is not something that can be simply willed away.

Then you get these so-called Christians harassing his family and poking fun of Robin Williams saying he was a coward and suicide was the easiest way out.

We do not know how much pain he had been in and feeling like there was no other way out or cure. To me, having to end your life takes as much courage. If you say it is the cowards way out then you try to put a belt around your neck, or jump out the window or pull the trigger. I would never have the guts to do that.

From what I have learned is that major depression feels like intense pain that can’t be identified in any particular part of the body. The most (normally) pleasant and comforting touch can feel painful to the point of tears. Depression is utterly isolating.

So who could blame Robin Williams for what he has done? He probably had no

There is terrible shame about the actions depression dictates, such as not accomplishing anything or snapping at people. Everything seems meaningless, including previous accomplishments and what had given life meaning. Anything that had given the person a sense of value or self-esteem vanishes. These assets or accomplishments no longer matter, no longer seem genuine, or are overshadowed by negative self-images. Anything that ever caused the person to feel shame, guilt, or regret grows to take up most of his or her psychic space. That and being in this state causes the person to feel irredeemably unlovable, and sure everyone has abandoned or will abandon him.

Who could blame Robin Williams for what he has done? He probably had no choice and did what he had to do to end all the suffering.

I hope he’s finally found peace and he’s up there with a BIG smile making the angels laugh.

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“You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. “

-- Robin Williams --

Date Night

Happy Birthday Singapore. Yes, I am glad to live in this country where everything is so convenient and safe but I am sick of tired of dealing with the people that’s all around me. One particular group that really bugs me with their barbaric ways especially…

But lets not get in to that because today was a happy day……Ed and I had a date. It’s been months since we did this. Usually when we do get to spend time alone together, we’d go for dinner and a movie. Today we decided to do something different… we had dinner at KFC and then headed to the beach to do some prawning.

I know, it’s not as exciting as it sounds for a hot date but being married for as long as we have, we've already done everything you can ever imagine…so any time alone doing anything is good. This prawning was actually a nice change because we got to sit together, drink beers and actually talk. You can’t really do this at a movie can you?

Two hours and a few beers later, we (or should I say “I”) managed to catch one miserable prawn and it was a tiny one!! To think we had high hopes of going home with at least a bag of prawns! Ha! Good thing I didn't depend on our prawning skills for dinner or I’d be starving!!

We wanted to be funny and drop by the 24-hour Sheng Siong to buy from prawns so we could tell my mum that we caught those but we were too lazy and tired.

But I really had a good time and hope my hubs and I can do this a bit more often.

Going back to being married so long…I can’t believe my hubs and I have been married for almost 15 years!! That’s like half my life if you think about it.

So you might ask, “What are some of the signs of being married too long?” …

From personal experience (15 years), these would be some of the signs…

- We finish each other’s sentences. Sometimes read each other’s minds.

- I know how he takes his coffee, tops his burger and prefers his eggs.

- He puts up with my NKOTB craze even though he hates them.

- He no longer freaks out at buying feminine products.

- He uses his disposable razor ones and leaves it in the bathroom for me because he knows that’s where I use it

- He can tell me I have something stuck in my teeth and if I can’t get it out, he will remove it for me without even a second thought.

- When he hears my cockroach scream, he comes running with a shoe in hand yelling, “Where is it? Where is it?”

- We can pee in front of each other (in the toilet obviously).

I am sure that this list will grow as we add on more years to our marriage and when that happens, I will update all of you. Ha.

Film, TV & Media Gathering at The Papa Shop

For weeks, my mum and I had been planning to go to the Papa Shop for a few drinks today. I've already been there once with my hubby and kids and loved it there and so I wanted to take my mum there as she’s a HUGE fan of the hunky Keagan Kang!

I got online at about 4pm from the office to “kay-poh” and to check if Keagan had posted anything to clue us that he would be there tonight. I didn't want to make a trip there if Keagan wasn't going to be around as he’s the main reason my mum is so excited to head there…

I learned that there was an event happening and it would be the 3^rd Film, TV & Media Gathering at The Papa Shop! Well, for one, Keagan is definitely going to be there… BUT …. It was going to be packed!!! So I called my mum to ask if she was still interested when she told me she wasn't feeling well and we could postpone it.

In all honesty, I was pretty disappointed because I was really looking forward to this girly time with my mum as we have not had one in a LONG time.

Anyway, I wasn't going to give up yet. I sent handsome Jerry Hoh a text to ask if he was going to be at The Papa Shop? We've been ‘talking’ on Facebook and Whatsapp for years now and have yet to meet so it would be a good opportunity to meet him there too!! Not only did he say he might go after filming, he mentioned that Sunny Pang is in town.

So as it stands, Keagan is definitely going to be there, Jerry Hoh possibly would get there after his filming and so I PM Sunny Pang and he said he was going to be there too. Woot woot!!

I went home, rested a while, had something to eat and made sure mum was fine before I told her who was going to be there. Miraculously she felt better and said we’ll go. Ha. We got dressed and left the house by 8pm. My awesome hubby volunteered to babysit the kids tonight and was actually excited for both my mum and I to be able to go out and have a good time.

We stopped at Wendy’s first as I wanted mum to eat something before she had any alcohol in her system. Typical of her, she ‘tarik harga’ so she told me, “We have a couple drinks and maybe we leave after an hour.” … Sure… ok mum.

We got there, and I was right…the place was packed!! Quite a few familiar faces. We chose our beer which was a headache as there were so many choices to choose from!! Saw Keagan and introduced mum to him. As always, hunky Keagan was so warm and friendly.

…and then we saw Sunny Pang and I introduced him to mum as for me, this would be the second time I am meeting him. And Jerry Hoh!!! I finally get to meet my handsome Jerry Hoh (ha, he always accuses me of flattery) and Gillian Tan…. Sebastian Sim… Devarajan Varadarajan and Mathialagan Mathi!!

It was awesome sitting and talking to them all. Before anything else though, the three handsome men (Sunny, Keagan and Jerry) excitedly took a photo with mum and me.

We had a great time. Great conversations. A few beers later, we finally decided to make our move. It was 11pm. One hour only eh? Ha.

I had a great time with mum. It was good to see her enjoying herself instead of always being so cooped up at home or just going to malls, etc. Mostly it was great to have some girly mother-daughter time together and the fact that we did something together that we really enjoyed.

Definitely will have to do this again soon and obviously it will be at The Papa Shop!!

I look back on the evening and I chuckle because this was a Film, TV & Media Gathering and everyone there were directors, producers, actors, writers and my mum and I were possibly the only fan girls there. Hahaha….

Oh! It was great to meet some other FB friends too, like Tanner Tan and Justin Deimen!!

Keeping The Faith

This morning, my mum accompanied me for breakfast near my office then we headed over to the temple for worship. It’s our weekly ritual. Sometimes we do it twice a week. But whether it is once or twice a week, every time we leave the temple, we feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off from us.

When I pray, I don’t usually ask for anything in particular unless there is really a need for something. I usually leave it in the hands of the Gods because they know what you truly need. Yes, I will always ask for happiness in the family and to watch over my family but to just do what they think is right for us.

This afternoon, while at work, I checked my Facebook and saw a friend request. I checked it and I swear I almost fell off my chair when I realized it was from my brother’s ex who had taken my niece away from us about 1.5 years ago. Without thinking I added her right away because this could be when the family reunites with my niece!!

First thing she did was apologize for everything she had done. I accepted because what’s past is past. What is the point of praying when you can’t forgive and move on to better things? I accepted because I wanted to do what is right for my niece and our family who have been so affected by her leaving.

I informed my brother his ex was looking for him and he was excited because it meant he will get to see his daughter again. I got to see photos of Germaine which made me so happy to know she was well taken care of and growing up to be a beautiful girl. My parents were thrilled too.

My brother got to visit with Germaine today and I could tell how happy he was.

Our prayers are being answered slowly. In fact, my mum and I were just talking about how much we missed Germaine the night before!! How much of a coincidence could that be?

Anyway, I had to call for a taxi to take me home as I had durians from our office durian party to take home and I couldn't possible take the bus home with it. What surprised me was that the taxi driver had a Tua Pek Kong on his dashboard and I had a pleasant ride home with him. I got to learn a bit more about the Chinese calendar and Tua Pek Kong, and I got to share my experiences and as to why I was a Catholic before but is now worshiping Tua Pek Kong.

But that whole taxi ride made me wonder…was that a sign? Tua Pek Kong is answering our prayers and bringing our family back together again. I really think so.

Faith sure does make things possible although not easy.

“Keep the faith. Hold on. Things will get better. It might be stormy now but it can’t rain forever.”