First World Singapore….

So it seems that our First World Country may be turning into something else with all these FTs causing such a raucous here lately.

But what happened at Holland Village MRT Station yesterday takes the cake.

A woman was seen defecating at the MRT station!! Literally, pulled down her pants and underwear in broad daylight in front of God and everyone else, and took a shit like a dog (“bitch”) would do!

I am actually lost for words. And yes, we shouldn't all assume she was a foreigner but we can’t help it. We've been independent for 49 years and have never seen such a thing as disgusting until now…so you tell me…. 

I agree majority of the Singaporeans are rude and un-mannered, spitting everywhere, coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths, and a few other things, BUT no Singaporean would be so shameless to take a shit in public no matter how urgent we were!! It’s not our “culture”. At most, they would let their kids take a piss wherever they are at and when needed but even so that is so wrong. BUT for a grown person to shit in public??

SMRT claims they could not catch the woman as by the time their staff arrived at the scene, she was already gone. So maybe we will never know whether this woman was a Singaporean or a foreigner. I should still start taking bets just in case they do find out…haha…. BUT betting is stupid because majority of the Singaporeans would bet on the same Nationality!

Meanwhile, the news of the incident has spread on the Internet with media from Hong Kong and Taiwan picking it up. The news was also posted on a popular Chinese forum where PRCs usually participate in discussions.

Obviously they are bitter about it because maybe somehow the truth hurts. I especially want to smack the one who said “Does China need to care about the feelings of Singaporeans?”

YES they need to you dumb f**k when you’re working in our country and taking up our precious oxygen. Likewise for anyone who goes to any country to work or study or live….you NEED to be considerate and follow their rules and laws. It is that simple unless it is not in your culture to obey the rules?

So what do you think? I know what I think and if I said it out loud, they’d probably jail me. Ha.

Whatever it is, I decided to have some fun and let my “creative juices” flow and came up with this….it should be the new signs at MRT stations.

Goodbye Funny Man Robin Williams

My heart has been broken into pieces. My favourite funny man Robin Williams has passed away at age 63.

When I saw “Robin Williams hanged by belt in apparent suicide” I prayed it was another hoax on Facebook. But it wasn't. Robin was found hanged in the bedroom of his home, with a belt around his neck and slight wounds to his wrist. Apparently he had been grappling with severe depression.

Robin Williams was a comedy legend! Watching his movies, he would make me laugh and cry. I could watch his stand up comedy skits online for hours and never got sick of it. I loved all the quotes he had come up with! He was one actor I had hoped to meet and wondered what he would be like in real life.

It’s even more sad to realize that a person who was so funny on film, who made the whole world laugh, who cheered everyone up when they were sad just by watching him…was actually depressed himself. There didn't seem to be much Robin Williams couldn't do. He spent a career entertaining us and making us laugh. He used humour to bring others happiness, which made it all the more heartbreaking to learn of his suicide.

Who could have given back to him what he gave the world? Who could have made him laugh when he was sad just like he did for the rest of us when we were sad?

It’s impossible to understand how someone so cheerful on the outside could have actually been suffering on the inside. I am certain his family and friends tried everything to keep him happy but depression is actually a battle.

Everyone feels sad at some point or another. Depression, or feeling sad is a normal emotion. We feel sad when we encounter disappointments in life or the loss of a loved one. However, for most of us, over time we learn to overcome our problems or accept the changes in our lives. But for others, the depression can become so severe that it dominates their lives and prevents them from coping as they used to.

Depression of this degree is not just a passing ‘blue mood’… it is an illness that needs to be treated. It will affect the body, mood and thoughts to a point of dysfunction. It is not something that can be simply willed away.

Then you get these so-called Christians harassing his family and poking fun of Robin Williams saying he was a coward and suicide was the easiest way out.

We do not know how much pain he had been in and feeling like there was no other way out or cure. To me, having to end your life takes as much courage. If you say it is the cowards way out then you try to put a belt around your neck, or jump out the window or pull the trigger. I would never have the guts to do that.

From what I have learned is that major depression feels like intense pain that can’t be identified in any particular part of the body. The most (normally) pleasant and comforting touch can feel painful to the point of tears. Depression is utterly isolating.

So who could blame Robin Williams for what he has done? He probably had no

There is terrible shame about the actions depression dictates, such as not accomplishing anything or snapping at people. Everything seems meaningless, including previous accomplishments and what had given life meaning. Anything that had given the person a sense of value or self-esteem vanishes. These assets or accomplishments no longer matter, no longer seem genuine, or are overshadowed by negative self-images. Anything that ever caused the person to feel shame, guilt, or regret grows to take up most of his or her psychic space. That and being in this state causes the person to feel irredeemably unlovable, and sure everyone has abandoned or will abandon him.

Who could blame Robin Williams for what he has done? He probably had no choice and did what he had to do to end all the suffering.

I hope he’s finally found peace and he’s up there with a BIG smile making the angels laugh.

----

“You’re only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. “

-- Robin Williams --

Date Night

Happy Birthday Singapore. Yes, I am glad to live in this country where everything is so convenient and safe but I am sick of tired of dealing with the people that’s all around me. One particular group that really bugs me with their barbaric ways especially…

But lets not get in to that because today was a happy day……Ed and I had a date. It’s been months since we did this. Usually when we do get to spend time alone together, we’d go for dinner and a movie. Today we decided to do something different… we had dinner at KFC and then headed to the beach to do some prawning.

I know, it’s not as exciting as it sounds for a hot date but being married for as long as we have, we've already done everything you can ever imagine…so any time alone doing anything is good. This prawning was actually a nice change because we got to sit together, drink beers and actually talk. You can’t really do this at a movie can you?

Two hours and a few beers later, we (or should I say “I”) managed to catch one miserable prawn and it was a tiny one!! To think we had high hopes of going home with at least a bag of prawns! Ha! Good thing I didn't depend on our prawning skills for dinner or I’d be starving!!

We wanted to be funny and drop by the 24-hour Sheng Siong to buy from prawns so we could tell my mum that we caught those but we were too lazy and tired.

But I really had a good time and hope my hubs and I can do this a bit more often.

Going back to being married so long…I can’t believe my hubs and I have been married for almost 15 years!! That’s like half my life if you think about it.

So you might ask, “What are some of the signs of being married too long?” …

From personal experience (15 years), these would be some of the signs…

- We finish each other’s sentences. Sometimes read each other’s minds.

- I know how he takes his coffee, tops his burger and prefers his eggs.

- He puts up with my NKOTB craze even though he hates them.

- He no longer freaks out at buying feminine products.

- He uses his disposable razor ones and leaves it in the bathroom for me because he knows that’s where I use it

- He can tell me I have something stuck in my teeth and if I can’t get it out, he will remove it for me without even a second thought.

- When he hears my cockroach scream, he comes running with a shoe in hand yelling, “Where is it? Where is it?”

- We can pee in front of each other (in the toilet obviously).

I am sure that this list will grow as we add on more years to our marriage and when that happens, I will update all of you. Ha.

Film, TV & Media Gathering at The Papa Shop

For weeks, my mum and I had been planning to go to the Papa Shop for a few drinks today. I've already been there once with my hubby and kids and loved it there and so I wanted to take my mum there as she’s a HUGE fan of the hunky Keagan Kang!

I got online at about 4pm from the office to “kay-poh” and to check if Keagan had posted anything to clue us that he would be there tonight. I didn't want to make a trip there if Keagan wasn't going to be around as he’s the main reason my mum is so excited to head there…

I learned that there was an event happening and it would be the 3^rd Film, TV & Media Gathering at The Papa Shop! Well, for one, Keagan is definitely going to be there… BUT …. It was going to be packed!!! So I called my mum to ask if she was still interested when she told me she wasn't feeling well and we could postpone it.

In all honesty, I was pretty disappointed because I was really looking forward to this girly time with my mum as we have not had one in a LONG time.

Anyway, I wasn't going to give up yet. I sent handsome Jerry Hoh a text to ask if he was going to be at The Papa Shop? We've been ‘talking’ on Facebook and Whatsapp for years now and have yet to meet so it would be a good opportunity to meet him there too!! Not only did he say he might go after filming, he mentioned that Sunny Pang is in town.

So as it stands, Keagan is definitely going to be there, Jerry Hoh possibly would get there after his filming and so I PM Sunny Pang and he said he was going to be there too. Woot woot!!

I went home, rested a while, had something to eat and made sure mum was fine before I told her who was going to be there. Miraculously she felt better and said we’ll go. Ha. We got dressed and left the house by 8pm. My awesome hubby volunteered to babysit the kids tonight and was actually excited for both my mum and I to be able to go out and have a good time.

We stopped at Wendy’s first as I wanted mum to eat something before she had any alcohol in her system. Typical of her, she ‘tarik harga’ so she told me, “We have a couple drinks and maybe we leave after an hour.” … Sure… ok mum.

We got there, and I was right…the place was packed!! Quite a few familiar faces. We chose our beer which was a headache as there were so many choices to choose from!! Saw Keagan and introduced mum to him. As always, hunky Keagan was so warm and friendly.

…and then we saw Sunny Pang and I introduced him to mum as for me, this would be the second time I am meeting him. And Jerry Hoh!!! I finally get to meet my handsome Jerry Hoh (ha, he always accuses me of flattery) and Gillian Tan…. Sebastian Sim… Devarajan Varadarajan and Mathialagan Mathi!!

It was awesome sitting and talking to them all. Before anything else though, the three handsome men (Sunny, Keagan and Jerry) excitedly took a photo with mum and me.

We had a great time. Great conversations. A few beers later, we finally decided to make our move. It was 11pm. One hour only eh? Ha.

I had a great time with mum. It was good to see her enjoying herself instead of always being so cooped up at home or just going to malls, etc. Mostly it was great to have some girly mother-daughter time together and the fact that we did something together that we really enjoyed.

Definitely will have to do this again soon and obviously it will be at The Papa Shop!!

I look back on the evening and I chuckle because this was a Film, TV & Media Gathering and everyone there were directors, producers, actors, writers and my mum and I were possibly the only fan girls there. Hahaha….

Oh! It was great to meet some other FB friends too, like Tanner Tan and Justin Deimen!!

Keeping The Faith

This morning, my mum accompanied me for breakfast near my office then we headed over to the temple for worship. It’s our weekly ritual. Sometimes we do it twice a week. But whether it is once or twice a week, every time we leave the temple, we feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off from us.

When I pray, I don’t usually ask for anything in particular unless there is really a need for something. I usually leave it in the hands of the Gods because they know what you truly need. Yes, I will always ask for happiness in the family and to watch over my family but to just do what they think is right for us.

This afternoon, while at work, I checked my Facebook and saw a friend request. I checked it and I swear I almost fell off my chair when I realized it was from my brother’s ex who had taken my niece away from us about 1.5 years ago. Without thinking I added her right away because this could be when the family reunites with my niece!!

First thing she did was apologize for everything she had done. I accepted because what’s past is past. What is the point of praying when you can’t forgive and move on to better things? I accepted because I wanted to do what is right for my niece and our family who have been so affected by her leaving.

I informed my brother his ex was looking for him and he was excited because it meant he will get to see his daughter again. I got to see photos of Germaine which made me so happy to know she was well taken care of and growing up to be a beautiful girl. My parents were thrilled too.

My brother got to visit with Germaine today and I could tell how happy he was.

Our prayers are being answered slowly. In fact, my mum and I were just talking about how much we missed Germaine the night before!! How much of a coincidence could that be?

Anyway, I had to call for a taxi to take me home as I had durians from our office durian party to take home and I couldn't possible take the bus home with it. What surprised me was that the taxi driver had a Tua Pek Kong on his dashboard and I had a pleasant ride home with him. I got to learn a bit more about the Chinese calendar and Tua Pek Kong, and I got to share my experiences and as to why I was a Catholic before but is now worshiping Tua Pek Kong.

But that whole taxi ride made me wonder…was that a sign? Tua Pek Kong is answering our prayers and bringing our family back together again. I really think so.

Faith sure does make things possible although not easy.

“Keep the faith. Hold on. Things will get better. It might be stormy now but it can’t rain forever.”

The Dreaded Hungry Ghost Month

The hungry ghost month is one of the most famous Chinese festivals, other than Chinese New Year and Moon Cake Festival. It also happens to be one of the most dreaded festival and month. I dread it alright...it also means the beginning of my asthma season with all the burning of joss paper under my window...

The seventh lunar month in the traditional Chinese calendar is called Ghost Month. On the first day of the month, the Gates of Hell are sprung open to allow ghosts and spirits access to the world of the living. The spirits spend the month visiting their families, feasting and looking for victims.

There are three important days during Ghost Month. On the first day of the month, ancestors are honored with offerings of food, incense, and ghost money - paper money which is burned so the spirits can use it. These offerings are done at makeshift altars set up on sidewalks outside the house.

Almost as important as honoring your ancestors, offerings to ghosts without families must be made, so that they will not cause you any harm. Ghost month is the most dangerous time of the year, and malevolent spirits are on the look out to capture souls.

This makes ghost month a bad time to do activities such as evening strolls, traveling, moving house, or starting a new business. Many people avoid swimming during ghost month, since there are many spirits in the water which can try to drown you.

The 15th day of the month is Ghost Festival, sometimes called Hungry Ghost Festival.  This is the day when the spirits are in high gear. It’s important to give them a sumptuous feast, to please them and to bring luck to the family. Taoists and Buddhists perform ceremonies on this day to ease the sufferings of the deceased.

The last day of the month is when the Gates of Hell are closed up again. The chants of Taoist priests inform the spirits that it’s time to return, and as they are confined once again to the underworld, they let out an unearthly wail of lament.

And during this month, there are a lot of beliefs and superstitions … there are lots of things you should not do…. things like…

DO NOT…

01. Hang out late

02. Spit in the street or tree (half the bloody Singaporeans have this bad habit of spitting so I hope when they do during this month, the ghosts will slap their mouth crooked)

03. Step on or kick offering items / joss sticks along the roadside (I won’t kick those but can I kick the ones who put it there?)

04. Make funny jokes or comments on any display altar / offering items along the street

05. Open your umbrella at night, especially red color type (So even if it rains, you better not open your umbrella at night especially if it is red! Doesn’t make sense this one)

06. Wear red color costume with high heels and walk alone at night (Seriously!?!)

07. Pick up any unique items found on the street or road

08. Stand Under a Tree in the middle of the night

09. Hang your clothes out in the middle of the night

10. Answer or respond when someone calls you, especially from behind (so ladies if you’re in doggie position and your partner calls your name from behind, don’t answer!)

11. Turn your head when someone pat on your shoulders in the middle of the street (can I swing and punch?)

12. Use any Dark or Black color manicure (oops!)

13. Comb your hair in front of the mirror in the middle of the night (Do you know of any one who would wake up in the middle of the night just to brush their hair?)

14. Leave your bleeding wounds in a open air; always cover up the area with plasters or other bandage materials (Ladies, if you’re having your period, you better stopper your vagina)

15. Swim in the pool or lake in the middle of the night

16. Play at the playground in the middle of the night; especially the swings

My apologies for cracking some jokes but in all honesty, at times we have to be cautious and try to believe. Obviously some things are just ridiculous just by the sound of it, but some do make sense. So my advice, try to listen to the old folks.

I have honestly seen with my own eyes, EVIL and I do BELIEVE they exist. Of course during this month, it may get a little out of hand with these ghosts and spirits but every other day, there are still lots of evil around you.

But here’s my list of NOT TO DO things during this month or any other days when it concerns religion or beliefs….

DEBRA’S DO NOT DO LIST…

1. DO NOT burn your joss papers and what nots on the grass (grass are living things), drains (so it clogs up the water flow and breed mosquitos), pavements so it blocks the pathway for people to walk and makes it look so unsightly with the burn marks. You should be charged for vandalizing.

2. DO NOT burn under peoples’ windows and smoke them out of their own homes.

3. DO NOT leave your papers, offerings, etc, scattered all over the place and clean up after yourself. That SHOULD be considered littering and you should be fined.

4. DO NOT complain during the next haze season because you do the same to the environment by doing what you do

5. DO NOT pull the barrels under the shaded areas when it rains

… and my WISH list

1. The authorities would take this into consideration and be more strict with where these people pray or burn their things. They should be fined for the mess they leave behind as it is considered littering. If we accidentally tossed a piece of paper, we would have gotten a fine, right?

2. I wish they wouldn’t keep using religion as an excuse to close both eyes on what really is happening

3. They should move the barrels to open spaces so it doesn’t smoke residents out of their own home as it’s a health hazard especially to those with respiratory problems. And fine the people who does not obey the law about burning responsibly.

4. They should start providing those new bins to every estate ASAP to prevent the smoke from suffocating people and papers from flying everywhere….

5. Higher conservancy fees to be charged to these folks because the cleaners clean up more of their mess every month than the regular folks’.

6. That all these prayer stuff be kept in their place of worship.

So there!!  

Keep safe everyone. Those with asthma and such, make sure you keep a mask in your bag….and try not to be a victim of these hungry ghosts!

My Journey Of Faith

It’s been weeks since I wanted to write this post but work and family has kept me occupied, happy and blessed. My biggest reason for wanting to write this is because of a recent private message I received from an old school mate via Facebook. This ‘witch’ I didn't even care much for in school, decides that she is indirectly going to tell me that I should not go to the temple as if she remembers I was a Catholic and that I am being a sinner by doing so….. I calmly asked her to kiss my ass and I will see her in HELL if that is what she thinks.

Who I am and what I become, what religion I choose, the life I lead and the paths I take is MY BUSINESS. It’s my life and I am free to decide for myself.  Everyone has reasons for things they do and I sure have mine. No one has tried walking a mile in my shoes so they do not have the slightest clue about what I have been through….

So before I proceed, I would like to say that by writing what I feel in this post and about the choices I have made and why…I am not trying to criticize anyone or any religion. Everything on here will be what I feel and what I believe…. So if you have a problem with anything I have to say then take it up with the higher authority.

Yes, I was baptised a Catholic. It was a decision my mum made and it was a decision I had no say in, and a decision I am certain my mum was aware could change as I grew up. I went to catechism classes every Saturday (and dreaded every minute of it). I attended Mass every weekend (kicking and screaming… until I was old enough to like boys….and going to Church had a whole new meaning). I never understood the sit, stand, kneel, sit, stand, kneel…

Worse is when I got a bit older, I found it strange that people would go to Church for what I thought was prayers, but instead, they would gossip or show off their new purchases, etc. During mass they would smile at one another during the sign of peace but snub one another right after mass ends. I always questioned, “Why do they even bother going to Church then?”

My mum married my dad who was a divorcee and because of that. She had to sacrifice receiving the body of Christ. Again, when I got older, I questioned this and not a single priest could answer my question. Does God really punish his children who marries a person they love? Where in the bible does it state that a person who marries a divorcee is not allowed to receive the body of Christ? This and many other questions I had, could not be answered and even till today, they push it away. Man made laws of the Church? I dare say yes it is.

Still, I kept going to Church till the day I left for America. Yes, I did try to find a Parish Church there but the few I went in to, even the Priests seemed to be indirectly wanting to know how deep your pockets were or weren’t happy to accept probably because I am Asian. So whatever…..the 11 years I stayed in America, I never stepped in to a Church. OK….I am exaggerating because when I came back to Singapore, I did step in to Churches for my wedding, funerals and my kids’ baptisms.

I got married in Church. I only did so because my grandfather always dreamed of seeing me walk down that aisle. I am glad I did because the year after, he passed away.

I baptized my daughter and my son only because of the pressure from family members (not my mom)….and so to keep their mouths shut, I did it. If I have to carry the sin, I will carry it for them. No I will not force them to attend Sunday classes…I hated every minute of it, why would I put them through it. Of course if they said, “mummy I would like to go for Sunday classes…” .. I would gladly take them.

The choice of what religion or faith they will want to explore is up to my kids to make when they are older.

…

And this is where my journey of faith begins….

Two years after I got married, my hubby and I decided we were stable enough and we could start planning a family. We were ready. After months of trying, I finally got pregnant and we were thrilled until we received a call from my doctor on a Saturday saying I had a miscarriage. I swear, my whole world shattered and I kept asking, “WHY?”. But we tried again and again,…and it was one miscarriage after another.

Of course I prayed and kept my faith but after the few miscarriages, I started questioning God…. I did not say we would make awesome parents but we definitely would love and raise our child to the best of our ability and protect him/her….yet I kept reading in the newspapers about parents killing their kids, abusing them or newborn babies being tossed in the trash. All that got me furious and even furious with God. He’s giving all these people babies to torture and kill? What about me? I am praying but is he listening?? NO! Then I get all these holier than thou people telling me God has his reasons, God knows when is the right time…. My reply? BULLSHIT! No offence but by this time I was pissed at God and the whole world!

We almost gave up. We almost adopted. Then one day my mum called me in USA. She told me her friend knew I was trying to conceive and suggested my mum take me to the Loyang Tua Pek Kong temple to pray and ask for what I wanted. A few months later, I made a trip back to Singapore. We went over to the temple and I put all my faith together and prayed to have a healthy baby. I left the temple without high expectations, only faith.

A few weeks after I returned to USA, I got pregnant. Of course I was thrilled but I didn't want to think that it was a miracle. I also wanted to make sure I didn't suffer another miscarriage.

It wasn't an easy pregnancy. It was nine months of nightmare because I was scared of another miscarriage. I did things extra careful, I ate the right foods. I was also under high risk pregnancy…. But one thing I had throughout this whole nine months was FAITH and prayers to a new found God/Religion.

I gave birth to my daughter. It was the happiest moment of our lives. The first week was rough as she was so sick and was in the NICU for a week…but again I lived on prayers and faith. And I figured that, we've already been through hell and back, this is nothing we cannot cope with and it would only make us appreciate our baby girl even more…

Needless to say, we named her “LeiLani” which means ‘Heavenly Child’.

Four years later, we decided to try again for another baby and that was when Logan was born. He was under high risk pregnancy as well and was in the NICU for a little longer than his sister…but other than that, I have two healthy amazing kids.

I have since kept going back to the temple. I took Lani to the temple every time we came back to Singapore for a visit…and now we’re back for good. It’s easier for us. I've explained it to my kids and they understand.

I feel everyone has to have a religion or a faith to believe in. It’s hard to get through life not believing in anything or not having a God to turn to when you’re at your darkest hour. I am glad I found a faith I trust in, a God I can turn to when my whole world seems to be crumbling down.

Not only did I pray to get my kids. I continue to pray for everything to Tua Pek Kong. My faith in him is so strong that when we bought a house, we bought one right next to the market where there is a Tua Pek Kong altar. Trust me, it’s saying something because Tua Pek Kong altars and temples are tough to come by in Singapore.

…and most recently…

When work was a bit unstable and I was worrying about finances and such when I turned to Tua Pek Kong. In less than two weeks, I got myself a new office that’s only 6 bus stops away from home and the best part about the whole package?? My new office is right beside a Tua Pek Kong temple. I have to pass it to get to the office and back home. Such eerie coincidence? Nahh… I think it is just his way of telling me he is taking care of my family and I.

Once a week, my mum will accompany me to the temple in the morning. We will have breakfast then pay our respects at the temple. The rest of the week, I spend a few minutes there before work and after.

Because of this, the calmness I receive every day, I feel I have changed a little. I have become a better person. I am less grumpy and agitated, and I manage my daily routines better than I ever did.

Just the other day, I was discussing this with my husband and we were talking about how Lani was a blessed child. Then I mentioned how much of a coincidence that Lani was born in February and that Tua Pek Kong’s birthday falls in February too, although the date changes every year…

My husband then prompted me to research and to find out when they celebrated Tua Pek Kong’s birthday in the year Lani was born…. I did…and I was shocked by my findings! In Singapore, they celebrated Tua Pek Kong’s birthday on the 16^th of February 2003….. my daughter was born on the 15^th of February 2003 in USA…meaning it would have been Feb 16 in Singapore!

But I have to say, my brush with Taoism started before I even realized it. Before I got married, I was struggling to get my fiancée visa in the USA approved. My mum and I were outside a temple at Pulau Ubin when a monk came up to me and told me not to worry and that I will get everything sorted out soon. Now, how did he know? What was he really talking about? There and then I took it as he meant my visa…and he was right….a week later my visa was approved. Coincidence? I thought so at that time. The fact that I now realize that the temple there was a Tua Pek Kong temple just makes this whole journey to Taoism all the more interesting for me.

Of course there will be non-believers who probably by now is thinking I am full of shits. But I didn’t write this to make anyone believe. I wrote this because I wanted to share. Only my family and I will understand this and that is all that matters.

I am no where close to being an expert on Taoism. But I go to the temple and I pay my respects and I pray in whatever way I know. I am sure Tua Pek Kong understands and to a certain degree I am sure he laughs at these two Eurasian ladies with two ang moh children coming in to his home to pray.

And that’s my story of my journey of faith…from being a baptised Catholic to a Taoist.