Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Breakfast with the Principal

It's a fact that the second most important decision you will make as a parent — apart from deciding to have the kid in the first place — is deciding which school you're going to enrol them in. Make the right decision and you could put them on a path towards lifelong learning, a prestigious university education and a successful career. Choose wrong, and well, you know. Talk about pressure. 

Luckily for us, when it was time for my eldest child to hit Primary one, the decision was almost already carved in stone that she would go to one of the better schools in Singapore.  She would attend CHIJ Katong Primary.  The other good thing about that was the fact my daughter was guaranteed a place in the school since I was an ex convent girl. So no stress. No balloting. 

Almost three years after that registration,  it was time to register my son for primary school. This time round we really had to evaluate things from all angles. Apparently the Ministry of Education have since changed the rules. It used to be that Saint Stephen's school and CHIJ Katong was a brother sister school. Apparently not anymore. 

Of course I wanted to put my son in Saint Stephen's school. It was a good mission school and mostly because I didn't want to break the chain. The family tradition. There isn't any other all boys school around where we lived either. And ten to fifteen years ago, our family would never have even had neighbourhood government schools even cross our minds!

Times have changed though. Some of these neighbourhood schools have better facilities and curriculum than the mission schools. And this was when we started considering Bedok Green Primary since it was a five minute walk from where we lived. 

So it was time. Time to evaluate both schools.

Of course my first choice would still be Saint Stephen's but as I looked more in to it, there were more cons than pros. For one, we would have to deal with the stress of "what if he doesn't get in even after balloting?" The other is the fact that my parents don't drive and school buses at that school do not pick your kid up on days when they have extra lessons. But the number one reason is that my son always had health issues...from fever convulsions to now eczema. Thankfully it's almost 3 years since his last convulsion episode...he has finally grown out of it yet the phobia is still in us thus why he should be in a school that's easier for us to get to him quicker if needed but the school also has to be of a good standard. And for that very reason, Bedok Green Primary was looking more like a better choice.

But I didn't stop there. I continued my research. I've heard nothing but good things said about Bedok Green and after my research I was pretty impressed myself. 

Four months into my son being in primary one at Bedok Green and I've got nothing but good things to say. I'm especially glad we chose this school and did not simply give it a miss just because it is "only" a neighbourhood school.

Best part is that the transition for my son was smooth since he had some of his kindergarten classmates in his current class…and Bedok Green is definitely better organised than my daughter's school.


Today I attended a session at my son's school called "Breakfast with the Principal". This was planned weeks before. The school administrator called and invited us but it was a work day and a very busy period for both my husband and I so we almost gave it a miss...until....

We found out that not all parents of the primary one students were invited. Only a selected few. Because of that, I made the extra effort to clear my schedule to attend it. The school even took the trouble to send the children of the invited parents home with this invitation card. 


It's really little things like this that shows how much a school takes pride in what they do.

The session was very informative and parents got to interact with one another. I am especially pleased that the principal and some teachers took time out of their busy schedules to be there to answer our questions and to just talk to the parents. 

My conclusion is that choosing a school for your child is important. It doesn't mean that the neighbourhood schools will not be able to make leaders out of your child, and neither will a TOP school guarantee that your children will become leaders. The reality is that, no matter what school a child goes in to, being a leader mostly depends on the individual. Of course, you still have to evaluate schools and look in to what you think is best for your child. Again I stress that every child is different. 

For me, when I did my evaluation, I looked into convenience for everyone and environment of the school. The key was also the relationship between teachers and students. The connection between your child and a teacher is much more important than any curriculum. I did speak to some teachers before making the final decision and I am glad I did because my son’s teachers are wonderful. They are able to speak about individual students' strengths and weaknesses and are well informed of their background, interests, emotional and academic achievements. Teachers at my son’s school takes great pride in their students' progress and is consistently open to their improvement. They are constantly ready for the kids to step up and learn more. 

Teachers matter - even more than you think. Excellent teachers not only teach more, but they can even accelerate the rate of learning among their students. And good schools champion great teachers. They grow them. Bedok Green has proven that they have done just that.

This school don’t seem to focus too much on standardized test scores or that’s what I feel anyway. It’s not a bad thing. I like that. You see, sometimes, good test scores can be an indication that a school is doing a very good job of educating its students, but other times it can be an indication that the school is teaching to the test. Standardized tests only measure about a third of the curriculum that should be being taught in the school, which means if the school is only teaching the test material, your child is missing out on a lot. 

It's really not all in the name. There is no colloquial designation that guarantees quality. Top name schools does not mean the school is a success. Just do your homework. The neighbourhood school down the road could be just as good as the top schools that costs $10,000 a year. Because education isn't necessarily a matter of ‘getting what you pay for’.

As parents we require knowledge, perseverance and energy to make informed choices about our children’s education. It is important to understand the education system clearly, as well as the options available before making the final decision. By gathering information, researching and evaluating your options, you will be better equipped to investigate the rich smorgasbord of schools available.

Of course we all want to give our children the best opportunities that are available, but it pays to remember that whatever school we choose, or however limited our options are by finances, convenience or locality, the greatest influence on the final outcome will be the home and family. 

It’s is ok to be a “kiasu” parent. Start shopping for schools long before your child is due to start school. You can find out about schools and what they offer by contacting individual schools and asking for a prospectus or handbook. You can also get a ‘feel’ for schools by attending Open Days and talking to teachers, families and friends. Try to find out why they feel the way they do.

Be discerning about community opinion. School’s reputations change slowly, so a popular school may be trading off a reputation gained years ago which may or may not be still justified. Another school may be doing everything right but still be suffering from a previous ‘bad name’.

It’s important to seriously consider your child’s needs as well as your own expectations and values. If you find it difficult to be objective about your own child, talking to preschool teachers might help you decide what sort of school environment your child would respond to best.


You may have a definite preference for large or small school, or the same or a similar school to the one you attended. Other factors such as religion, discipline or diversity may be a key factor in your decision.

The school environment will have a considerable influence on your child, so it is reasonable to expect the values promoted to at least approximate your own. Values don’t just mean moral and religious values. They can also refer to a range of social issues, or even something as mundane as the nutrition available at the school canteen. If it’s important to you, it’s not mundane.

There are also practical aspects to consider. How much involvement do you want in school related activities? Some schools expect a high level of parent involvement, others less. What about location and the proximity of public transport? 

Compile a checklist of features which are important to you and your child. Then think about the questions you need to ask to gain the information you need.  

But above all, include your child in the decision making process. Listen to any concerns children express and acknowledge their feelings. Then, when you have chosen a school and enrolled your child, celebrate together to give a positive start to the new direction to both your lives.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

‘Till Death Do Us Part’


We live in a disposable culture. Things generally aren't built to last. Sometimes we don’t even want things to last…. Otherwise, we might miss out on the latest, greatest version. It is easy to transfer this same mentality to our intimate relationships. However, enduring, loving relationships are one of the best investments we can make. Good relationships do not lose value—they only become richer the longer they last.

Still, it can be easy to lose sight of the true worth of your relationship. So we do everything in our power to prepare our relationship to go the distance—and achieve the dream of one day being that little old couple, happily sharing a park bench.

 “Till death do us part” is the famous vow in the standard marriage rite. Though I am in love with my husband and hope to be forever, the idea of eternal marriage is one that always draws my skepticism. It’s not that I do not have faith and such… I blame it on what I have seen throughout my life.

People change. That is for sure. But at the end of it, it is how the both of us will work things out to accept the change and to make the relationship last.

The idea of growing old after a marriage of 50 years or more to one person is something anyone would be fortunate to experience. Over the course of the last 14 years, my husband and I have grown as individuals and have been through ups and downs, yet our love is still stronger and we’re still striving to keep it that way. However, there are no guarantees in life thus there are no guarantees we will grow old together. We should just strive for the rewards of building a long-term marriage, through thick and thin, till death do us part.

In putting together our wedding ceremony fourteen years ago, we did not just focus on the vows. The celebration of our marriage was an opportunity to profess our love in front of our friends and family. We wanted not just to make promises but to celebrate our joys and hopes. Our joys are those qualities of the relationship that brought us closely together.

Our chief hope is to always be as happy as we were on our wedding day. With such happiness we would stay together throughout our life.



Saying all that, this morning at breakfast I see this couple who were probably in their eighties. The wife was in a wheelchair and although the husband didn't look too strapping himself, he slowly and carefully pushed her to a table and when she was settled in, he got up to buy a bowl of noodles.

When the bowl of noodles arrived, he proceeded to carefully place the noodles on the spoon as after giving it some soft gentle blows to cool it off, he gently, patiently and carefully fed it to his wife.  You would think they were sharing that bowl of noodles and how sweet it would be although probably a little sad as one would think they didn't have enough money for two bowls…. BUT he didn't take a bite of it at all. He continued to patiently feed his wife and with every spoonful he gave her, he would tell her in Chinese, “Slowly eat. Don’t rush.”

You could see it in both their eyes how much love they had for each other. This is a sight you do not see often or at all if I dare say so.

Seeing this old couple made me reconsider my skepticism for eternal marriage. This couple really brought true meaning to the vow “till death do us part”. We could all learn something from this.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Thank You Cards Are So Yesterday!


What do you normally wish you had after attending a party?

I usually wish I had photos of the event through some else’s eyes and if it was a party that I had dropped by kids off at, I would love to have photos of the party for keepsake.

So since my daughter just celebrated her birthday over the weekend, I have been trying to think of a great “Thank You” gift for the parents’ of the kids who attended the party. To me, ‘Thank You’ cards are so yesterday. If that is so then what else would be special? What could you possibly give these parents for showing your appreciation for the birthday gifts they got for my daughter and for taking time out of their busy schedules to drop their kids of at my house. Of course the gift should be practical and hopefully something they won’t chuck aside.

Going back to what as a parent I would like if my child attended a birthday party?

BINGO!

I decided I would put all the photos and videos I had taken during the party, on to a DVD-R and add a ‘Thank You’ note to it. But just like that? Kind of boring, I thought. So my final decision was to make sort of like an album of photos,…I put together a little booklet of what we did during the party, photos, and included the DVD-R in it. It was also personalized for each kid, by the way.

Anyway, this is the end to all of this party planning. I shall take a break for 11 months and prepare for the next party, which would be my son’s 8th birthday and he’s already asked for a theme party.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Happy Birthday To My Darling Daughter

The day has finally arrived. I would first like to wish my daughter a very Happy Birthday! Can’t believe she’s already eleven years old. Time flies….real FAST!

Anyway, I woke up at 9.30am, we had breakfast and soon after that, I rushed to finish the rest of the things needed for my daughter’s party. I started with the frosting of her cake which she wanted it to look just like the one Hagrid made for Harry in the movie, then I put out the food and snacks and last I worked on the cut outs for the wall and the front door. Managed to finish everything in the nick of time. As my husband and I put up the door hanging, her friends started showing up. She only had invited 4 of her close friends who enjoys the same things like her (namely Harry Potter).

Mind you I am in no way shape or form a Harry Potter fan and so when my daughter asked for a Harry Potter themed party, it took me weeks of researching… From what I would have for food and the names Hogwarts would name the foods, to lessons they taught at Hogwarts that I could use as activities….

So my daughter’s friends start to come by one by one and they will have to pass through “Platform 9 ¾” (our front door) before they could arrive at “Hogwarts” (The Party / our home).


Once everyone arrived, we started the school term (afternoon program) with the first lesson (activity). We started with “Charms”. The students (kids) created their own spells/charms on pieces of paper. This is to get them in to the mood of the party theme and to allow their imaginations to run wild.

“Charms is a subject taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Unsurprisingly, it specializes in the teaching of charms such as Wingardium Leviosa, Accio and Aguamenti.”

We then moved on to the next lesson (activity) after and we moved into “Transfiguration (Wand Dueling)”. During this time, my hubby took over the class (activity) and assisted the students (kids) in crafting out their own magic wands that would light up. After the students (kids) crafted their wands, they panted them and allowed it to dry. After which, they would take it home with them after term end (end of the party).

“Transfiguration is a subject taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It teaches the art of changing of the form and appearance of an object. This type of magic is commonly referred to as Transfiguration.”


Finally it was time for “The Great Hall” (lunch). Here, they enjoyed a wide variety of food and desserts. Don’t forget to check out the floating candles around the food area as well.

01. Spaghetti
02. Polyjuice Potion (Sauce)
03. Wands (Breadsticks)
04. Cauldron Cakes (Chocolate and vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting)
05. Pumpkin Pasties (Apple Pie)
06. Snitch (Ferrero Rocher Chocolates)
07. Moon Stone Cookies (Chocolate chip cookies)
08. Every Flavour Beans (Jelly beans)
09. Elixir of Life (Water)
10. Sparking Snake Venom (Mountain Dew)

After lunch and after their bellies were full and content, we moved on to “Divination” class. This was when my daughter opened all the presents she received from her friends. They are not called her close friends for no reason because they knew exactly what she liked. She received presents that were Minecraft, Doctor Who and Harry Potter related. The best and most appropriate was the Sorting Hat!

“Divination is a subject taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It teaches methods of divining the future, or gathering insights into future events, through various rituals and tools. The magic taught in this class, as well as the ability to say prophetic things is a branch of magic referred to as divination."


On to the next class (activity)…. “Potions” class where the students (kids) experimented and created drinkable potions using juice, food colouring, soft drinks, etc. They really enjoyed this thoroughly and were even more amused their teeth were different colours from the food colouring.

“Potions is a subject taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In this class, students learn the correct way to brew potions, following specific recipes and using various magical ingredients to create their potions, starting with simple ones first and moving to more advanced ones as they progress in knowledge.”

How about moving on to “Care of Magical Creatures”? Here, the students (kids) each got to ‘hatch’ their own dinosaur. I managed to find those clay eggs that when soaked in water for a few hours, it will hatch in to a dinosaur. It was a good find because ‘Car of Magical Creatures’ is apparently one of the things that is being taught at Hogwarts.

“Care of Magical Creatures is an elective course at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that can be taken by students Third year and above. In the class, students learn about a wide range of magical creatures, from flobberworms to Fire crabs, and even unicorns and thestrals. Students are taught about feeding, maintaining, breeding, and proper treatment of these various creatures.”

Finally…after all that sugar intake…it’s time to let the kids burn some of it off as they were already beginning to bounce off the four walls. We take the kids downstairs to another class (playground). There, we studied (played) “Defence Against The Dark Arts”. They ran around and waved their wands around and had a great time and burnt off some energy.

“Defence Against the Dark Arts (sometimes written as DADA) is a mandatory subject taught at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in which students learn how to magically defend themselves against Dark Creatures, Dark Arts and against the other Charms.”


Back up at Hogwarts (the house), the students (kids) finally settle down and prepare for “Muggle Studies”. Which in translation, it is actually time for the Xbox 360. The kids mixed potions on the Harry Potter game and shifted on to Just Dance where they had tremendous fun.

“Muggle Studies is part of the non-magical studies curriculum at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is exactly what the name implies - the study of the daily lives of Muggles and how they cope with electricity and not magic.”

It’s almost the end of the term (end of the party) and I know I have done a great job when the students (kids) start to call their parents to ask if they can stay an hour or so longer.

Anyway, it’s time for “End-of-Term Feast” and this is where we cut the birthday cake. Even right down to the cake colour, how it looks and the spelling is similar to that of Harry Potter’s cake.

We finally finish another year at Hogwarts and we have come to the end of term (party). The students (kids) did not leave empty handed though. They left with a ton of fun in them, a take away box of snacks, two goodie bags, a dinosaur and a magic wand.

I was exhausted after that but what made everything worth the effort I put in was when my daughter came up to me, hugged me, thanked me and told me it was the best party she has ever had!

The second best part was, I spent less than $300 and if I were to have engaged a party planner, it would have cost us more than $800! However, it’s not the money. It’s the time and effort you put in to make our kids the happiest, and for them to see how much effort you put in for them….they will remember this day for the rest of their lives and hopefully do the same for their own kids later.

-----

My darling daughter,

You had me from the minute I felt you kick and before I ever even saw your face, joy resonated from the inside out and you made my heart glad.

Your massive talents and adorable personality could melt a mountain. You are sweet, phenomenal, and an amazing person wrapped up in a package that I proudly call "my daughter".

Nothing compares to the feeling of pride a mother has when she sees her little girl grow up so wonderfully into a kind young woman.

Today, my wish for you is a better tomorrow that is full of promise and hope. My wish for you is happiness and that you get a taste of all good things. My
wish is for you to have a wonderful life and all that it shall bring!

Always remember that no matter how many birthdays come and go, you will always be my little princess. Happy Birthday Sweet LeiLani! I love you so very much!


Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine’s Day is Over-Rated

I feel that Valentine's Day is just another Hallmark-created holiday to fuel the economy. I don’t need a holiday to tell my husband how much I love him. I love him every day. Shouldn't it be the same for the rest of you?

Here’s my take on it.

No, you don’t need a holiday to tell your loved ones how much you love them. You in fact need to tell it to them every single day or any moment you get a chance. However, maybe the deeper meaning of Valentine's day is to take time out to celebrate your love and that's just what my hubby and I will do as always. No need fancy gifts or dinner...just some quiet time alone as we don't get much of those since having kids.

To some Valentine's Day is just a cultural justification to do some PDA (public displays of affection). So why not use the excuse to make out in public, indulge in a great meal and remember to have sex (for those of you who need a reminder?).

But I still feel that it’s become too commercialized.

The perfect card. The perfect gift. The perfect date….

Isn't there enough pressure in relationships without having to live up to some romantic ideal on Valentine's Day?

Am I celebrating? No, not really because we tell each other we love each other every day. And what do we get each other when we've got everything!?

So as I had mentioned earlier, since we spend every second we are not working with our kids...we decided to use this day to have a quiet dinner together. (Thanks mum for offering to watch the kids) And yes, we did send each other a greeting via Facebook so we are up to par with the Valentine’s Day cultural justification of PDS (public displays of affection). Ha.






I can’t stress enough how in recent decades Valentine's Day has become increasingly commercialized. TV and magazine ads depict models with perfect bodies and perfect teeth giving each other chocolates, jewellery and back rubs. The message is: "Your love is measured by what you buy."

Modern relationships are difficult enough without having to stage a major performance on a designated day. We agonize over the greeting card racks, hoping to choose a perfect card and not to mention the gift. This is not what love is all about. Love is much more complex than flowers and chocolates.

Long-term satisfaction in relationships does not depend on material wealth or success. Nor does it depend on physical attractiveness. That is how I feel anyway.

So if you wish, buy that card or those flowers and gift, but keep in mind that this is not a maker or breaker of a relationship. Better yet, why not show your partner love and consideration on the other 364 days in the year. It will make a greater impact than doing so according to the calendar.

Agree?

-----

In the evening, my hubby and I had a quick dinner at Hot Tomato at Bedok Mall. We had Prime Rib steaks and Tiramisu. It was almost like chew and screw as we left for home straight after dinner. How unromantic right? Haha.

Well, we didn't have much of a choice as I had to rush home to bake and prepare for my daughter’s birthday party tomorrow.

And yes, I baked and decorated and prepared till 2am.


Another early and long day tomorrow…..

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Scoliosis

Two weeks ago, the nurses visited my daughter's school and she came home with a letter stating they suspect she has Scoliosis. Hearing such a big name, I started to panic and wondered what the hell kind of health issue that is. So I read on and realized it had something to do with the spine. It wasn't until after dinner that I managed to clear up everything and get online to do more studying on this.

So apparently what I read was that Scoliosis is a back condition that causes the spine to curve to the left or right side. Most cases, it develops in children between the ages of 9 and 14 during the growth spurt of puberty. Scoliosis is usually mild and needs no treatment. For more severe cases, treatments include a back brace and surgery to straighten the spine.

And of course, me being me, I worried about the "what if her case was severe"?

So this kept me worried for weeks and finally, we took the day off today to take her for the follow up appointment at the Health Promotion Board building. She got an x-ray done and we saw the doctor who explained everything to us. Thankfully, her spine is only 9 degrees bent so it's not severe and as the doctor said, there is nothing to worry about. It may or may not get worse but usually it doesn't. But just having those options, I am going to worry for years now!!

What we learned today is that Scoliosis is hereditary in that people with scoliosis are more likely to have children with scoliosis. What we also learned is that it is not caused by the heavy school bag or the kind of mattress my daughter is using or even her posture. WOW! All this while I thought those were all part of the problem. I guess we learn something every day.

So anyway, thankfully it wasn't severe and thankfully Lani didn't need the brace. I was really worried that she might have needed it. I couldn't imagine my baby girl having to wear that for whatever period of time. But she will still have to go back for follow ups twice a year until she is 17 years old or when she stops growing.

Now we're still trying to figure out of anyone in our family had this but we can't come up with any names until my mum mentioned my cousin.... ok, now I can understand...

But a mother's worries never ends. This is only the beginning...

Friday, February 7, 2014

Logan’s Poetry Recitation


Logan had to prepare for a Poetry Recitation that he presented today. He chose to do “The Wheels On The Bus”.

The objective of Poetry Recitation is to build up the child’s presentation skills as well as to provide an opportunity for him to speak confidently and fluently in standard English. Logan will be tested in his pronunciation, expression and rhythm, eye contact and creativity.

So for the last week I have been making Logan practice presenting the “Wheels on the Bus”. I tried to keep him motivated. I didn't stress him and try to make it as fun as possible. I explained that he needed to speak slowly and to pronounce the words clearly at all times and never to mumble. I've explained to him on numerous occasions that he should not just recite the poem word for word and instead he needed to express himself and speak with variation and to give occasional emphasis. He’s a smart cookie and he understood and did real well during practice.

I also drilled into his head that he needed to make that eye contact with his audience at all time. That is most important and that would allow him to score great marks which he was excited about. The thing about my kids is that scoring thrills them to know end and they always like to put in their best to get the best marks! They really do make me proud.  I think I can pat myself on the back as I have raised two great kids.

Last but not least, I explained to Logan that creativity is an extra benefit for scoring high marks. I told him that he will need to have a lot of expressions and enthusiasm about the poem…and props!! So I spent the day with some help from my husband, making the prop for Logan’s presentation. I've cracked my brains the last week or so and finally come up with making a cardboard bus which Logan could put on during the presentation.

When my daughter Lani was young, I did the same for her show and tell. I spent hours on her props and right now, I get to do it all over again and this time for my son Logan.

Logan came home excited today telling us he had done well for his presentation and he also mentioned that he was the only student who brought a prop. WOW! Parents were given the worksheet to inform us about how the scoring would be done. Long before I even had the worksheet, I planned to make a prop…of course it was an added benefit and more so when it was stated in the scoring sheet.

I just cannot understand why parents these days are not involved in their child’s life. Sadly, these parents are also mostly stay home mums so it’s not like they don’t have the time. I am not trying to credit myself for being the greatest parent but I work full time and yet I am able to put aside time to get involved in my child’s education, etc.

It’s just sad how parents expect the teachers to do everything when it concerns their child’s education. There is only so much the teachers can do…you need to get off your ass and do your part as well.

Don’t they realize that parents are the child’s most important teachers, guides, and advocates? Parents’ opinions and actions play an important role in shaping their child’s development. Being an involved parent means guiding and connecting with our children. I feel that parents who are involved in their child’s lives find that their children are more successful in school, chose better friends, and have fewer discipline problems. If you don’t think it is true than prove me wrong.

Being involved is more than just sending your child to school. Besides helping with your child’s School work, involved parents also find time to talk one-on-one with their child and really listen to what they are saying. Effective parents also validate their children, by letting them know that they can see things their way. These parents aren’t afraid to have fun and goof off with their child. They do special things together, go on outings, plan family events, and model how to behave in these different settings. It doesn't take a genius to do all of that.

Parents should advocate for their children’s needs. It is the parent’s right to voice their opinions about school activities and policies. By speaking up, parents help their child feel supported, secure, and successful in school. Some parents may feel apprehensive about getting involved in how their child’s school is run, and that is only natural. But follow your heart because you’re the best person to know what is good and what is bad for your child.

I am not a perfect parent but I always try to be the best. I feel sad whenever I see children who are neglected or being pushed away by their own parents. But I cannot save the world so I concentrate on my own children and giving them the best in life, the best lessons and to be the best mum I can be to them.


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