But looking at the above screen capture from my Facebook page, I wanted to blog about how lucky I have been over the years when it comes to meeting people online. Through the years, I have made many friends who even if I have not met in person (yet), still plays an important role in my life. A handful I have known since 1998 and some I have recently gotten to know, but no matter how long I have known any one person, each one of you play a different role in my life. You've been there with me through thick and thin. You have seen me take that giant leap and move 12,000 miles away from my country to meet my husband and get married. You saw my kids grow up. And many more milestones in my life…you showed me love and given me so much support.
Thank you.
Moving back to the above screen capture…
I have recently met this wonderful online friend by the name of Kevin Patrick O'Brien Jr. How you might ask? I don’t really remember. But if I am not mistaken, he had added me through NKOTB friends which I am glad he did because he is a riot and never fails to keep my online life colourful.
Both Kev and I have figured that we’re long lost evil twins. We must have been separated at birth or something although how the hell one would have an Irish twin and as Asian twin, god only knows. However, there’s something different above Kev. He speaks his mind and whatever comes out of his mouth, you know for sure it’s straight from his heart (whether you like it or not).
He fills my heart with warmth through his statuses and comments and makes me laugh with his goofiness. I think I do the same for him because he never fails to tell me so. Thus why we came to a conclusion that we’re evil twins. I just feel accomplished knowing that I do play an important role in his life, that I am that friend who is there for him to leave him in stitches and with stupid big goofy smiles and I hope I never will stop doing that for him.
Kev, thanks for coming in to my life. I will forever be grateful and will forever support you in all that you do. You’re a good man and you deserve the best things life has to offer. If at any time you hit a low, I will be there to kick your ass back up and that is my promise. Ha!
(You really touched my heart greatly when we had the above conversation on Facebook. Never in my life, did I think I would play an important role in a friend’s life…important enough to be mentioned during your get better sessions).
Oh and by the way, I am very proud of you attaining four years sobriety. Keep it up!!
And in case some of you didn't know... Kev is a really awesome singer/rapper. Check out his latest song: 50 Shades Of Shay
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It was the year 1998. I was damn proud to have bought myself a laptop. It was a boat anchor but a laptop all the same.
Upon applying for internet connection with Pacific Internet, I got on a chat line so check out what all the hype was all about. Just as I had figured how to log in, I got into mIRC and #soundbar channel, and I received a private message from a “LordVader”. Yes, little did I know he would be my husband.
He was obviously more grounded than everyone else, and his grammar was impeccable. He knew so much about where I was from. Or at least he Googled it. He asked me interesting questions. I could already tell what he was like, just from the messages.
We talked for about 5 months or so before losing touch with each other. Didn't think much of it since we initially met, both of us were involved in other relations.
A couple months later, I finally started to get a bit more tech savvy and downloaded ICQ in which I remember him asking me to get. So who was the first person I added after installing it? Yup! I added ‘my future husband’.
One day, he got online again and I asked if he remembered me and he answer, “Of course!”. As fate had it, we had both broken up with our partners at about the same time. He sent me a photo of him but I didn't exactly want to believe it was really him. One day, I finally found the courage to call him and we spoke for a bit.
We soon switched to email, which felt like a serious commitment. Things were moving fast. It wasn't too long before we decided to meet. It was either he come to Singapore or I go to America. I jumped at the opportunity as it had always been my dream to visit the USA. Applied for my travel visa, bought my tickets and headed up to meet “LordVader” for the first time. I am actually surprised my parents didn't stop me but I admit, I told them a lot of lies too. Haha…for one, I told them I would be staying with his sister. Oops!
I was all excited until it was 10 minutes before the plane would land in NYC! I have never felt so many butterflies in my stomach. I just whispered to myself, “too late now fool”. Got off the plane and there he was, with his long blonde hair let down, wearing his long leather trench coat. One consolation was he didn't lie when he sent the photo to me. I remember my heart raced so fast that I almost couldn't control my nerves.
Just a week into my trip, we headed up to Maryland to visit with his baby sister and there, after a great dinner, he offered me a glass of champagne. At the last drop of it, a ring slipped from the bottom of the glass and hit my lips. Oh my god! It was happening…. The day I had always dreamed and imagined what it was going to be like. He got down on his knees, asked if I would marry him and the moment I said “yes”, he slipped that beautiful diamond ring on to my finger. I was going to be a wife soon…but how am I going to break this news to my family?
Somehow everything fell right in to place. After three months of being with him, I went back home to tell my family about it and packed my bags to leave my country, my family, my comfort zone for good. Twenty years of my life was packed up in two suitcases. It was a huge leap for me and I took that risk and today I am glad I did.
We were married in April 2000. I was two months shy of turning 21 years of age. My mum was the only family I had there at my beautiful park wedding. But a year after, we made our way back to Singapore and did it all over again…we got married the second time. This time it was for my family to witness.
This April would be 14 years since we got married, and I don’t feel butterflies in my stomach any more when I see him (it’s a good thing), but it is pretty nice to remember when I did.
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To think I was one of the skeptics about online romance.
But after all that is said and done, I feel that sometimes it’s easier to meet people online. But trust your gut – things aren't always what they seem.
In some ways, meeting people online is similar to meeting people in real life. But online relationships can be different – and more dangerous – than meeting people in real life.
There’s some real risks in meeting up with people who you've only had contact with online. The thing is, it’s hard to know what the person is really like – because the only thing you know about them is what they've told you. When you haven’t met face to face, you can’t easily pick up the body language cues that can help us to judge whether someone is genuine or not. You might not know their friends or family or anyone around them. You don’t have any way of verifying that they are who they say they are.
I sure did take a huge risk and Ed wasn't even in the same country as me! Sometimes it scares me and I wonder about the “what ifs”? But I followed my heart and my gut.
If there’s a little voice telling you something’s not right – listen to it.
So I’ll say that it’s damn important to be smart. You need to protect yourself.
Again, though, for all its dangers the web can bring wonderful things as well.
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