Technically it's that time of year again when you will make more frantic attempts to change habits, make commitments and radically shift the direction of your life. Or what is called a New Year's resolutions. More importantly, will you keep those resolutions?
According to Wikipedia, a New Year's Resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year's Day and remain until fulfilled or abandoned.
Unfortunately, most New Year's resolutions are abandoned before January is even up. I'm speaking from personal experience and I'm certain majority of you can relate to it too.
I think setting goals (and New Year's resolutions) is very important. Well for me I have goals in life and each year I do fulfill as many as I can. I've given up on yearly resolutions though. What’s the point of making them for the sake of making them and not fulfilling it?
Why do we not keep to our New Year’s resolutions year after year?
I think most of us have become numb to the idea of resolutions. Resolutions are like diets. They’re events. They’re uninspiring, and most people state them with unconscious intent.
So what is a better alternative to this New Year Resolution thing?
I've decided to revolt against resolutions. I had my very own “resolution revolution.” I decided to simplify, to focus, and to be gentle about the approach. Here it is:
Pick a word for the year.
Just one word. That’s all.
Then, hold that word in your mind throughout the year, and let your word guide you to take action. For instance, let’s say you want to make a resolution to lose 20 pounds, and to change jobs. Rather than say, “I resolve to lose 20 pounds and get a better job,” you might sit with this thought for a little while. Maybe then you would recognize that you've been scared to look for another job because there might not be something out there, and maybe you've been overeating to stuff?
So, instead of making resolutions – which do little to inspire you – you choose the word “courage.” Courage then becomes what guides you. Each day you focus on that word. When you don’t want to go to the gym, you don’t berate yourself with the threat of your resolution. Instead, you motivate yourself with your word “Courage.” You say it aloud to remind yourself. And you go because learning how to not be scared of change is exciting to you. The word then builds on itself. You might decide to take a yoga class even though the skinny yoga girls have always scared you. You might find that you have a little more energy with each new thing you try. Maybe this energy motivates you to call an old friend in your field and let her know you are looking for another job. Courage becomes the guiding force, not the harsh standard.
I am a very lucky woman, blessed a great career, great family and friends…a husband who puts up with me, and two really gorgeous, smart and amazing kids. I have everything my heart desires. What more could I ask for?
So what word am I going to choose for 2014?
I think I will choose “Self-Love” this year.
I’ve often neglected myself trying to care and provide for my family. I've pushed myself hard to be the best I can be so my family could enjoy the fruits of my labour because they deserve it. But I also have issues I need to get rid of which over the many long years have given me little senses of what it means to love and accept myself. I am not talking about loving myself to the point of narcissism. That is an entirely different thing.
Years back I thought self-love was being selfish but I've learned that it’s the other way around. It’s being selfish not to love yourself.
Yes I have a great life now but sometimes I feel I was born to get through life not being able to let go of the past, and in return feeling really depressed which concludes I am not good enough and a failure. I've continued to put a lot of pressure on myself that I had absolutely no time to care for myself. That will hopefully change this year.
So this 2014, I am going to start learning to love myself. I am going to try and realize that I am as important as anyone else. It is going to be difficult as growing up, I always felt that others are way better than me, and that I don’t matter, and people aren't interested in me unless I please them.
For self-love to happen, I am going to try to take these steps in fulfilling my 2014 goal (notice I didn't say resolution?)….
Self-Care
Consider my needs
Care for myself with the same level of effort that I do for others
Accept myself for all that I am
Set boundaries
Protect myself
Forgive myself
Become mindful
Act on what I need rather than what I want
Wish me luck…..
So what word will you choose for 2014?
Compassion? Generosity? Wealth? Gratitude?
No comments:
Post a Comment