Create The Life You Want

 

In the pursuit of happiness and fulfillment, one must take an active role in shaping their own destiny. Life presents us with possibilities and opportunities, and it is up to us to seize them and mold our lives according to our aspirations and desires.

Creating the life you want begins with a clear vision of what you truly desire. Define your goals, dreams, and values, and let them serve as a compass to guide your decisions and actions. Set specific, realistic targets that align with your vision, breaking them down into manageable steps. Remember, small consistent efforts can lead to significant long-term achievements.

Embrace personal growth and self-improvement as vital components of your journey. Invest in developing new skills, expanding your knowledge, and nurturing positive habits. Learn from failures and setbacks, using them as stepping stones towards success. Cultivate a growth mindset that sees challenges as opportunities for growth and resilience.

Surround yourself with a supportive network of like-minded individuals who share your aspirations and can provide guidance and encouragement along the way. Collaborate with others who can complement your strengths and offer different perspectives, fostering a rich and diverse environment for personal development.

Creating the life you want is not an effortless task, but it is an empowering one. It requires determination, perseverance, and the willingness to take risks. By taking charge of your life, setting meaningful goals, and embracing personal growth, you can shape a life of purpose, fulfillment, and true happiness. Remember, you have the power to create the life you want; go forth and make it a reality.

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Now let me share with you 7 simple steps in creating the life that you want.

Step 1:
Do a life audit first.

Find out where you stand in each of the eight areas of life to start.
- Health
- Self-care
- Personal development
- Career
- Finances
- Home life
- Relationships
- Free time

What alterations would have the most influence on your life?

Step 2:
Make a mental adjustment

Everything in your life is influenced by your mindset. We act on the basis of our beliefs and thoughts.

Whenever something bad occurs from now on, adjust your perspective. Consider what you can change or control rather than feeling like a victim.

Step 3:

Construct a vision

We have a distinct sense of purpose when we have a vision.

That implies that we are looking at far more than just sitting down, achieving short-term goals, and solving issues as they arise.

Passion and dreams fuel visions, which are then expressed via sincere efforts to produce noticeable results.

Step 4:

Daily self-improvement is important.

The fog begins to lift after you have your vision, and your road map starts to become more clear. But, no one will be driving the automobile for you.

To transform your life, you must put in the necessary effort. You achieve that by practicing consistently every day.

Over time, if you give the plants a tiny bit of water each day, your garden would always expand.

Step 5:

Create an environment where success will occur.

If you want to alter your life, you must change more than just yourself. Also, your surroundings must alter.

For instance, if you frequently associate with pessimistic friends, you can begin to accept the boundaries they're placing on you.

It is much more likely that you will succeed if you associate with other doers and others who share your ambition.

Step 6:

Improve your existing abilities while learning new ones

Nothing will transform your life more quickly than learning new skills.

Set aside time each day to develop your skills by watching videos, listening to podcasts, and reading books, but don't forget to put them into practice as well.

Step 7:

And finally, have fun with it.

The entire purpose of this activity is to change. That implies that your attitudes and actions will change throughout the course of the year.

The thing you were looking for may turn out to no longer be what you want.

Have fun and, most importantly, don't let the process consume your attention to the point where you lose sight of your goals.

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Good luck!

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Timeboxing vs To-Do Lists

 

It took me 42 years to realize that I needed to get rid of everyone who was toxic and unfavourable and who prevented me from being the finest version of myself. Life is too short to spend time with ignorant individuals. 

And you have no idea how significantly my life has improved.

Anyhow, a great buddy of mine sent me a link on to-do lists.

The article's heading read, "Former monk Jay Shetty says'most successful, productive people don't use to-do lists' — what he does instead."

I thought it was incredibly relatable, so I'd want to share my opinions and practical knowledge on timeboxing and to-do lists.

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Apparently Jay Shetty and I have a lot more in common than I'd like to think, but it's also possible that I've learnt a lot from listening to his podcasts. 

Anyway, let's get to the topic I wanted to cover. To start, let me say that I don't frequently use a to-do list. I might always claim to be going through my to-do lists, but I only do so because it is simpler to use that phrase than to define timeboxing.

Timeboxing, as defined by Jay Shetty, is the process of converting your to-do list into a calendar and assigning each activity a specific amount of time. You then decide what to accomplish and when to do it, ignoring all other distractions within the allotted amount of time for that work. 

By assigning you a set amount of activities to finish each day, timeboxing gives you a finite number of tasks to complete per day unlike a to-do list. 

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This is how timeboxing functions in my opinion and why I believe it increases my productivity.

The five issues I discovered with my to-do list were a turning point in my life. First, they presented me with an excessive number of options. Second, I gravitate towards jobs that are easier to complete and are simpler by nature. Third, I rarely feel motivated to complete critical but non-urgent chores, such as scheduling time for learning. Fourth, to-do lists by themselves lack the crucial context of how much free time I have. Fifth, they don't have an accountability system to hold me accountable.

That was plenty for me, and I have since switched from my to-do list to this timeboxing calendar approach. And during the past few years, I've learned a few more advantages of timeboxing that I'd like to share.

First, scheduling timeboxes into a calendar allows for the relative arrangement of tasks. Working diligently and doing my absolute best isn't always necessary; instead, doing the right thing at the appropriate moment will result in greater results for everyone.

Second, it provides me with a detailed account of everything I've accomplished. 

Thirdly, I feel like I have greater control. Control is the main factor that determines my level of enjoyment at work, thus this is really essential to me. My happiness and productivity suffer as a result of frequent interruptions. Timeboxing is the ideal remedy for this. I plan what to accomplish and when to do it, eliminate all outside distractions for the specified period of time, and complete the task. Repeat. Consistent control and obvious success are incredibly pleasant and even addictive. This is about my intention and how I feel, not just about production.

Fourth, my productivity has increased significantly. The majority of us accept that there is some truth to the idea that work grows to fill the time allocated for its completion. In reality, we frequently spend longer than necessary on a task, affected more by the time that is actually available than by how long the task should actually take. Therefore, by setting a reasonable, limited time for a task and sticking to it, disciplined timeboxing for me frees me from the above. 

The advantages of timeboxing are numerous, diverse, and profound. This routine has enhanced my mood and my personal accomplishments. Given how much time it gives me to do other tasks, this may have been the most crucial ability or practice I have acquired as a modern professional. Additionally, it is easily applied and cost-free. 

Generally stated, timeboxing is a time management strategy in which you assign a specific amount of time to a specified activity. After the stipulated duration has passed, you stop working on the activity and evaluate whether your intended objectives have been met.

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How do you timebox, then?

Four steps make up the timeboxing time management method:

- Locate appropriate tasks

- Establish your goals

- Set a timer

- Work, and evaluate your progress

STEP 1

Locate appropriate tasks

In general, you can choose any task and assign it to a timebox, but it would be better if you did so for the following tasks:

Tasks that you don't want to spend a lot of time on and for which you lack motivation.

Typically, tasks that you know will need a lot of time and effort are the ones that you lack motivation to do. You delay endlessly since you are aware that you cannot complete these things quickly.

You can effectively reduce the difficulty of the assignment by breaking it up into smaller, more manageable pieces, each with their own deadlines and milestones. This leaves you with the simple chore of inspiring yourself to meet the next deadline or milestone, which is much more doable.

Most of the time, unpleasant but important jobs, like cleaning up your room or organizing your emails, are the ones you don't want to spend too much time on. Either you'll put off starting these tasks or you'll take an excessive amount of time.

You essentially limit the time you'll spend on such task from the outset by giving yourself a fixed deadline.

STEP 2

Establish your goals

Once you've chosen your projects, consider what you intend to accomplish with them and when.

When it comes to tasks you don't want to perform, you might make working on them during a timebox, a goal itself. For instance, make cleaning your room for 15 minutes your goal. By working on organizing your room for 15 minutes each day for a week, you'll probably discover that you've made significant progress without even breaking a sweat. You can even make this timebox an ongoing one.

STEP 3

Set a timer

This step is very similar to the second stage in the time blocking time management strategy. Once you've decided on the activity you'll tackle and the goals you want to achieve by doing it, it's time to devote a time period to this work.

Therefore, you choose when to begin working on the task and when to finish it. If the time limit allows, you may even note this time in your calendar to ensure that you don't get behind on your errands.

As was indicated in the first step, you'll likely timebox your most challenging tasks that you lack motivation to do; as a result, you'll need an ideal, condensed timebox to assist in making these tasks bearable.

The "Eat that Frog" time management method's creator, Brian Tracy, advises working on your most challenging tasks first thing in the morning. Therefore, you may simply set up a timebox in the morning for your most crucial, urgent, or simply unappealing work that you lack the motivation to complete.

STEP 4

Work, and evaluate your progress

The final step may be the simplest; you immediately begin working on your first scheduled task and move down your list of scheduled timeboxes.

Keep track of how much time you spend on each task to make sure you don't go over the allocated time:

Stop working as soon as the period of time specified has passed, and then evaluate your performance.

You are successfully timeboxing each time you complete your assignment inside the given time frame. All that is left to do is evaluate your progress each time.

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I'm not entirely against making a to-do list. 

What is the secret to completing tasks? It involves creating to-do lists and completing them. The most critical tasks are listed first, while the least significant tasks are listed last.

The oldest method of productivity is to make a list of the things you need to do, prioritize the list, and then complete the list. But what would be more effective? Timeboxing. 

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The debate between timeboxing and to-do lists is an important one when deciding how to get things done. You must comprehend your working style and optimal workflow if you want to know what suits you best. You can ultimately choose which is more significant to you. There are circumstances in which you could even combine the usage of timeboxing and to-do lists. 

To be frank? I timebox and keep a to-do list. That's how I operate.

Finding the best approach to employ or the one that is more effective is difficult. However, I think using both is a wonderful idea because they complement one another. You can make a list of your tasks, order them by importance, and determine how long it will take you to finish each one. Then, create up timeboxes with projected completion times for each of those jobs.

Therefore, you need to be aware of the tasks if you want to know the implementation time for both. Both are suitable options, depending on your work standards.

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Whatever you choose to do, never forget one crucial point...

Take regular breaks.

Humans can operate most effectively for only 35 to 45 minutes on average. Therefore, it's essential to continuously take breaks if you want to maintain your energy and productivity. Regular breaks allows you to advance more quickly than those who take few or no breaks.

Surprised? I'm sure you are!

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With my always busy schedule, which requires excellent organisational abilities, and after all these years as a modern professional, I have come to understand the few benefits and drawbacks of timeboxing and using to-do lists.

Let's start by discussing the benefits and drawbacks of timeboxing.

The advantages of timeboxing includes:

- Ease of performance

- Ease of time management

- More possibilities for evaluation

- Less anxiety

The disadvantages? Well, I only discovered one drawback:

- Finding consistent time in the calendar to complete tasks

What are a to-do list's benefits and drawbacks now?

The advantages of a to-do list includes:

- Ease of implementation

- Prioritization of important tasks

- A simple sense of satisfaction

What is the disadvantage of a to-do list?

- If the list becomes too lengthy, it may cause stress

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In conclusion, the next step for you is to decide whether timeboxing, to-do lists, or both are good for you. However, feel free to experiment to discover what works for you. I would advise utilizing both because they complement one another quite nicely.

"So box some time to implement a version of this, that works for you."

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It’s been 2 weeks and…

It’s been two weeks since I got pickpocketed at East Coast Beach and I still have not been able to bring myself to head back there even if it’s always been my Happy Place. Not sure if I can still call it my Happy Place as I somehow cringe at the thought of going back there. Still filled with questions like when and how did it all take place and why was I that careless? Of course, I shouldn’t let that one bad experience take away my joy of being at my happy place but it’s tough.

 

I know in time to come, I will get over it and be able to head back again and if not, I always have Changi Beach.

 

But I should take a few other things into consideration before allowing this one bad experience to ruin it for it. I should be thankful that it could have been worse and I could have gotten hurt in the process but I did not. Also I should keep in mind that it happened during a public holiday when the beach was packed with locals as well as foreigners so if I were to head back to East Coast Beach, I could just avoid the crowded times.

 

Karma isn’t blind. It will go after those who did this not only to me but I am sure many others at the beach that day.

 

I still cannot figure if I was that careless which I know I am not and I am always paranoid and careful, or are these thieves really that good?

 

How could they open the zips to my haversack bag without me even noticing? And to take my wallet which I carefully placed at the back of the bag so when I had it on, and if anything should fall out, it would be everything else but my wallet. How quick were they to get this done as I walked, and I walk rather quickly.

 

So after two weeks of really breaking my head to think the whole scenario through, I may have come up with a few conclusions of my own.

 

These people work in groups. They probably followed me from the Lagoon where I was buying dinner for my granny, and they watched me carefully back the food and my wallet into my haversack bag. They knew exactly where I had placed it. Then followed me for a good while and even though I brisk walked, there were a few times I had to slow down because of crossed areas and people being in my path. Those could have been the times they got to reach into my bag. Who knows? Those groups of people in my path that slowed me down could even have been from their group?

 

It must have happened not too long before I realized something was aloof and that my haversack felt weird. I stopped to check and there it was, wide opened, food I bought for granny was still inside but my wallet gone. I knew for a fact that someone had robbed me because there was no way that even if the zip on my bag unzipped itself that my wallet would fall out and not the food. I knew that for a fact because of the way I had placed the items.

 

I stood still for a few minutes, totally in shock. I finally called my mum to let her know what had just happened and to have Ed call me. We got all our cards cancelled and blocked. I continued on to Granny’s to give her the dinner I bought for her. Told her what happened which I should not have because she felt bad and felt like it was her fault that it happened. She felt if I did not bring her dinner, this would not have happened.

 

Assured her it was alright and it is not her fault. I wanted to do this for her.

 

The plan was to walk back home after I see granny but after what happened, I just wasn’t feeling it. So I took a bus home. After which, Ed accompanied me over to the police station to file a report.

 

Of course I did not have to because it wasn’t a lot of money that I lost and credit cards were cancelled. Thankfully I had my ID in my phone so I didn’t have to report that. But I made the police report because I was hoping this would get the police to look into the matter and prevent it from happening to someone else.

 

However, the police did not seem to be concerned and instead made me regret my decision for having made the report because he made me feel more stupid. He tried to tell me I may not have zipped my bag or it unzipped itself. He made it clear he could not see how my wallet could have been taken and it may have fallen out instead. I know me. I know how I packed my bag. I know my paranoia. And I know that even if anything were to have fallen out, it would not have been my wallet because of the way I packed it.

 

So that was that.

 

What I am more upset about is the fact I am so disappointed with my fellow Singaporeans.

 

I am pretty sure in the middle of that crowded beach, lots would have seen me walking with a haversack on my back that was wide opened and no one seem to think anything out of the ordinary about it, enough to approach me and say, “Excuse me but did you know your bag is open?” I know I would have said something like that to someone if I saw their bag was wide opened like that which would be strange. In fact, that was exactly what I did a couple days ago at the train station to a guy who had his bag half opened.

 

Learned two lessons from this.

 

Firstly, ‘low crime doesn’t mean no crime’.

 

Singapore has a reputation for being a safe, peaceful, and orderly city. While violent crime, and crimes against persons are rare occurrences, fraud and scams, and theft are on the rise. We should not be complacent and take to heat the campaign slogan.

 

And the second lesson learned is… never depend on anyone else but yourself. In time of trouble, you better be able to defend yourself and help yourself because apparently Singaporeans WILL NOT help you. While there are still some good people in this country, majority are simply all for themselves or in time of trouble, they would much rather take out their phones and film, rather than help.

 

I still am feeling ‘shitty’ about this whole thing because honestly, as much as many have told me, “well at least they did not hurt you…” … I on the other hand would have much preferred to have at least put up a fight with this coward!

 

I feel violated.

Maundy Thursday

Maundy Thursday is the Thursday before Easter and is considered to be the day that Jesus and His disciples shared their last Passover together. Most notably, during the Passover supper, Jesus displayed tremendous humility by washing His followers' feet. Then he told them to reciprocate for one another.

It is customary for Christians, particularly Roman Catholics, to visit seven churches on the evening of Maundy Thursday during the Lenten season. The Blessed Sacrament is placed on the church's Altar of Repose for Adoration after the Lord's Supper Mass. During the Seven Churches Visitation, the faithful stop by numerous churches—typically seven, incredibly infrequently 14, and occasionally no fixed number—to pray before the Blessed Sacrament. Aglipayan, Catholic, Methodist, Episcopal, and Salvationist Christians, among others, participated in the Seven Churches Visitation in an ecumenical setting.

The faithful remember Jesus's agony in the garden after the mass of the Lord's Supper, which commemorates his final dinner with his Apostles the night before his arrest. The Blessed Sacrament is placed in a tabernacle on the Altar of Repose, the main altar and the majority of the side altars are stripped after Mass, and all crosses are either removed or covered. Churches remain open late for silent adoration. This is in answer to Jesus' plea to his apostles in the Garden of Gethsemane, which is described in Gospel of Matthew 26:40, "Could you not, then, watch one hour with me?"

In order to pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament, those who engage in this visitation depart from the church where they attended the Mass of the Lord's Supper. This occurs more frequently in cities where churches are situated close to one another, making travel simpler. The Lord's Prayer, Hail Mary, and Gloria Patri are the prayers for this devotion in the Catholic Church, along with a prayer for the wishes of the current Pope. The Stations of the Cross are another option for prayer.

In Singapore, following the evening Mass of the Last Supper, church visits take place. At each church, the Lord's Prayer, Ave Maria, and the Gloria Patri are recited seven times each. With the selling of drinks, hot cross buns, and other regional snacks, there is a festive atmosphere. Observant Catholics eat a "Last Supper" meal in preparation for the fast the following day.

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Maundy Thursday, and even though the tradition is to visit 7 churches after attending the Mass of the Lord's Supper...I started a little earlier because I wanted to do my own little penance. 

Today was a little heartbreaking to be honest because I am made aware how much my granny and mum have aged and unable to make this journey with me. Not even if we took a bus or a taxi to each Church. 

I remember as a little girl, I would accompany granny and her friend to these 7 churches and when I got older, I would do this with my mum. This year is the first year I did it alone but at every Church, I sad an extra little prayer for them and remembered fondly of the times I did this with them in the past. 

So and my journey began. I first took a train from my office to Church #1.

Church #1 - Cathedral of the Good Shepherd

Walked from the train station and it was 650m which took me about 9 mins. 

Church #2 - Church of Saints Peter & Paul

Walked from Cathedral of the Good Shepherd and it was 180m which took me 2 mins.

Church #3 - St Joseph's Church

Walked from Church of Saints Peter & Paul and it was 180m which took me 2 mins.

Church #4 - Our Lady of Lourdes Church

Walked from St Joseph's Church and it was 650m which took me 9 mins. 

Church #5 - Church of Our Lady Queen of Peace

Walked from Our Lady of Lourdes Church and it was 5.1km which took me 1hr 5mins.

Church #6 - Church of the Holy Family

Walked from Church of Our Lady Queen of Peace and it was 2.0km which took me 26 mins.

Church #7 - Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour

Walked from Church of the Holy Family and it was 2.8km which took me 36 mins. 

...and walked another 2.8km to home from Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Succour. A total of 15.29km in 3hrs 49mins. 

Along the way, a few moments really stood out. Some funny and some heart warming. Let me share it with you...

The first funny moment was when I was walking to Church #5. About 3km into the journey, I tripped on the sidewalk and I kind of giggled to myself because the first thing that came to mind was "Debra falls the first time". Well, I suppose only the Catholics or Christians would get this. 

Anyway, as I was walking to the last church, I had to walk up a hill. I was exhausted by then but Daniel O'Donnell came on (my playlist) and started singing "Footsteps"... how truly appropriate. 

Then as I was walking home from the last church. I was absolutely exhausted and as I crossed the road, I met this elderly Malay lady who was probably in her 70's. It was 6.30pm and she was walking home with a basket of food, possibly rushing to get home to break her fast with her family. She hit something on the sidewalk and her basket toppled. Apples rolled away and her tray of eggs all crushed. A few walked by without stopping to help. As tired as I was, I stopped. I helped pick up the apples and something in me wanted to do more. So I took out whatever cash I had in my wallet as I don't carry much cash on me ever, and I had about $6 which was enough for a new tray of eggs. Her smile and her blessings towards me was all I needed to end the evening. 

And the rest of the walk home, my feet started to feel like lead and I was exhausted and dragging myself to get home. It was during that moment that I started reflecting on Jesus' walk to Calvary while carrying the heavy cross. Oh I forgot to mention that all this while, I had my haversack on me with my laptop in it as I started on this journey right after the office. But it was some good reflection and by the time I got home, I did lighten the mood and joked, "Jesus at least had Simon to help carry the cross at some point... I had no Simon to carry my haversack!" Haha.

So there I was, exhausted, but feeling so spiritually awakened. It was a beautiful Maundy Thursday. Next year, I plan to do it all over again. 

Mummy Dearest

It’s been exactly a month, to date, since my mum’s ICD surgery.

 

I knew from the start that this whole surgery thing was going to be very difficult on me, on so many levels and I thought I would be blooding every step of the way to keep myself sane but boy was I wrong.

 

I couldn’t even sit down long enough to find any energy in me to do anything else but to make sure mum was alright and am still doing that. Not to mention taking care of work and my family. I am literally mentally drained. At that point in time or for the last month, I could not even find the simplest words to describe how I felt.

 

Things are finally settling or maybe I am just getting used to juggling everything. Maybe I am just kidding myself because I am literally exhausted, mentally drained and have been fighting off depression that has been trying to set it on numerous occasions.

 

Nevertheless, the biggest relied now is that mum is recovering well and doing so much better. She is, however, going nuts though and in return driving me insane because she is stressing me out by being stubborn and I am afraid she is going to undo all the progress she has made so far.

 

So here I am, finally able to sit down and pen out my experiences stresses, thoughts and feelings about this whole scary experience; from the time this surgery was scheduled, to the night before and into it, until now.

 

Anyway, it’s been a little over a year since we found out mum’s heart is only working at 33% and she has a 60% blockage. We have since changed her diet and she has been on meds which did not make things better but it prevented her condition from getting worse. We have kept to her regular visits with her heart doc who from the start had suggested this procedure but mum was hesitant so mid last year she got an angiogram done. That did not solve the problem completely.

 

I suppose what made her finally knuckle under and agree to this procedure was because of me. No, I did not force it on her but explain why it was necessary and also because she knew since I found out about her condition, I have not had a full night’s sleep because I was afraid. I really was. What was I afraid of you might ask? I was afraid I would wake up one morning and mum wouldn’t. So a few times each night, I would get up just to make sure mummy was still breathing.

 

When she finally agreed to the surgery, I was relieved, but I also understood her fear. Thankfully, she had a great nurse for her consultation who assured her everything will be alright and how important this was.

 

Of course, once the surgery was scheduled, that created a whole new set of worries. I was mostly worried about the tiny slim chances that she won’t come out of it alive. It may sound like a stupid fear but I have known people to go in for something minor and not make it out alive.

 

So anyway, on the day of the procedure, I spent the time with mum at the hospital till it was time for them to bring her in to start the procedure. With a heavy heart, I hugged and kissed her and told her I will see her in a few hours. I remember that moment so clearly because although I was so very nervous, I had to pretend I was strong so she would not be scared. It was the hardest, walking away then.

 

They said the surgery would be around 1pm and it would take a couple hours. So I went home to see to things and waited for the hospital to call. By 4pm still no call and my nerves were about to explode. Finally at 5.30pm I said "F*ck it" and bought her dinner and went over to the hospital with Ed. I was going to break down some doors to find out where my mother was! But by the time I left, the hospital called and told me she was out. We headed to the ward and I was not expecting to see her in a high dependency ward. It took me a lot of courage to not break down and cry seeing her the way she was. But I had to stay strong for her. I know she is a warrior and would be ok.

 

The nurses there were wonderfully helpful and caring. Her doctor stopped by before heading home and explained what had happened. I guess mum was so out of it she did not even remember half of it.

 

Implant was placed in successfully but while they were doing that, mum was moving a lot so they had to sedate her which was probably the cause of why her pressure went down really low and oxygen level was at a low as well, thus why she had to be placed in the high dependency ward. Although the implant was successfully placed, her doctor told us it was a difficult procedure as their first try did not go so well so they had to find another spot on her heart to connect the device to. And because of that, there was a hole which caused some fluid to build up around the heart which could be the cause of the drop in pressure too. So they are monitoring that as well and if the fluid buildup worsens, they would have to drain that out.

 

I also remember she hadn't eaten all day and when she finally said she was hungry, the hospital kitchen was closed and since she was only allowed clear soups, Ed and I rushed down to the canteen to get her some.

 

Only thing I could think of was Yong Tau Fu. For my foreign friends, it’s a clear broth soup whereby you choose different items to put in it like veggies, toufu, fishcakes, etc. It's usually charged at a minimum amount of items of like 6 and it cost between $4 to $6. This stall was $5.70 for 7 items and the soup.

 

Since mum could not take solids and I was desperate to get her the broth, I told the lady behind the counter that I will pay her the FULL PRICE but I only want the broth. In her broken English, she shouted NO SOUP! I got pissed but I tried to explain that was all my mother could eat and the hospital kitchen was closed and she still wouldn't sell me the dame soup ONLY at FULL COST! F*ck that! I would pay $10 even because my mum needed it! But she still wouldn't listen! Compassion? She had none.

 

Pissed off, I picked out the 7 items..... (wanted to toss it in her face but controlled myself), slammed it on the counter instead and yelled at her to toss the items away and just pack the damn soup for me!

 

She did.

 

Well, wasn't that difficult was it?

 

With my temper and her attitude, it could have been a nightmare there at the canteen but my mama needed me and me being in lockup wouldn't do my mama too good.

 

So mum had some clear soup. I tied her hair up so it won't get in her face as her mobility is limited for now. Her pressure went back to normal by the time we left.

 

I was planning to stay the night with her but because it was a high dependency ward, they didn't allow me to. Walking away from her that same night was one of the toughest things I ever had to do.

 

By the third day, she was looking and feeling better and ready to go home but they kept her there for five days. It was the longest five days. I missed her being home with me. And running back and forth from home, work and hospital was no fun.

 

The last month has been tough. I had my hands full and many times I was at a breaking point but I picked myself back up and persevered through because mum needed me and so did everyone else. Between taking care of mum, Ed and the kids, I had to make sure my office work was done in a timely manner, and the house chores were done and lunch and dinner was cooked. Oh! Don’t forget the laundry!

 

It was for my family and I gladly did it all without complaints although I was very exhausted.

 

I always knew how much mum helps me with taking care of the house and such while I worked but it is during this time that I appreciate that so much more.

 

And all through this time, not once have my brother stopped to call and ask how she was doing. He did text, and I will give that to him but dammit. She is your mother not your friend! That really pisses me off and even more so because as much as my mum tells me she doesn’t care, I know it is killing her inside. Especially after all she has done and sacrificed for him. He boasts about owning three businesses to me to try and get me jealous? Please.... some big businessman you are when you cannot even support your own mother's medical expenses. Oh well.. such is life right? Karma is a bitch for sure. I won’t curse or wish ill on him but I will wish him all that he deserves. Don't worry bro. We won't need your money. Ed and I can and will take care of our mother. 

I just cannot wrap my head around a child not calling often to check on his/her parents to find out what is going on and then saying they never knew what the heck was going on. Huh? I will never forgive my brother after this. Not after I have seen and experienced for myself in the last month... that OUR mother almost died. I dare say I am almost traumatized by that because my world would shatter if I lost my mum. 

 

I am glad mum is getting stronger each day. She stresses me out when she gets stubborn and don’t take doctor’s orders and I have to keep an eye on her 24-7 but I understand how she feels and I know she must be going nuts not being able to do what she is used to. Hang in there mum…. You’ll be back to normal soon.

 

I would like to thank everyone who continues to check on mum and me.

 

Your kind words about what an amazing job I am doing caring for mum means so much to me and have given me so much more motivation to carry on. But I will say this… I do it because it is my duty and responsibility as a child. I do it because my mum deserves the best. I do it because it is my turn now to care for her after all she has done for me and sacrificed for me all through my life. I don’t need a pat on the back. I just need my mummy well and here with me for a very very long time.

Productivity: A is for Action Plan

 

I have experimented with a variety of positions over the last 25 years or so, including administrative manager, human resources manager, secretary, and executive personal assistant/confidential secretary to becoming a Director of my own business.

 

My major objective is always productivity, but efficiency is also quite high on my list.

 

Since the beginning, I have always used the phrases "productivity" and "efficiency" interchangeably without ever stopping to consider whether or not they are the same. The difference between the two terms has only become apparent to me over time.

 

Efficiency is the caliber of the work, whereas productivity is the quantity of it. These two concepts are synonymous in every way.

 

In summary, efficiency refers to doing the same amount of work in less time whereas productivity refers to completing more work in a given amount of time.

 

As was previously noted, productivity refers to meeting deadlines, but it is also crucial to learn how to do so without compromising the caliber of the job. You must therefore be accurate in addition to being swift.

 

So how can I improve my productivity and efficiency?

 

Distractions would often be eliminated for me. And every time I do that, without fail, I increase my productivity and efficiency. I usually will start by staying away from social media and turning off personal calls in order to do that.

 

I also think that by having a tidy, well-organized office space also increases my productivity. Not to mention maintaining orderly folders, saved files, and documents on your computer, making sure they are saved in the appropriate locations. This can aid in the thought process in addition to save you time from hunting for it. We can quickly lose our train of thought when forced to halt during our most productive moments to look for a document. Additionally, it can also be difficult to regain the appropriate frame of mind after looking for that document, which then reduces productivity.

 

So what about your least favourite tasks? Do you tend to save them till last? I was definitely at fault for that! But I have discovered that doing so merely serves to undermine the goal of gaining efficiency and since I came to that realization, I have started tackling my least favorite tasks first thing in the morning, instead.

 

In the past, I believed that starting with the simple duties would make the day go by more smoothly and allow me to accomplish a lot more before devoting a lot of time to the more difficult ones. The fact is that I was actually delaying the duties that required more effort since I knew I would run out of steam by the end of the day and then would have had to postpone them until the next day. It turns into a vicious cycle, and you might never finish anything after all.

 

But each person is unique in their own right. So finding out when you are most productive is crucial because some people are not as productive first thing in the morning. When you have finally done that, arranging your work according to difficulty throughout your productive hours will now help you work as efficiently as possible.

 

In addition, using a timer and a daily to-do list will also help you make sure you are not wasting time and that the right things are being completed at the most practical of times.

 

Spending less time on projects rather than more time has been one of my favorite productivity techniques in recent years.

 

You start by assigning a specific activity to a specific time of your day by setting a time limit on how long you spend on it. This not only saves you time, but it also lets you decide how much time you want to devote to your work.

 

Did you also know that one common time-management tactic is to use a productivity timer? I have learned that setting a timer and deciding on a clear end point for the activity is one of the finest strategies to limit the amount of time you spend on a task.

 

You are now motivated to focus your attention and energy on the subject at hand when you use a timer to limit the amount of time you can work on a certain task.

 

So set a time limit to complete the task the next time you work on it. Believe me how surprised you will be by how much you can do when you set a time restriction on your workday.

 

You can then break free from unending tasks by giving yourself a time restriction. The hard stops will keep you from putting things off and help your day go forward.

 

Set a timer. Get it done. And move on to your next task.

 

Moreover, despite the common misconception that breaks are a waste of time, the truth is breaks actually assist you to focus and enable you to work more effectively. It is usually more challenging to generate fresh ideas when your mind is focused on one subject for such a long period of time without a break. This is why I think we can all be more productive if we carefully plan 10 to 15 minute breaks throughout the day.

 

Don't even start me on multitasking right now.

 

I used to think I was good at multitasking and that I could accomplish a lot in a day. Even yet, I felt proud of it and of myself for completing all of those tasks. I believed it to be a "talent" that should be listed on my résumé.

 

Although multitasking might result in immediate successes, you need to know that focusing on numerous activities continuously over time can also cause exhaustion. Burnout makes it difficult for anyone to concentrate, which increases the likelihood of making mistakes when attempting to accomplish one's goals.

 

So take note that multitasking is not the best approach to increase productivity or even efficiency, as I have learned from experience.

 

While I was juggling so many tasks at once, I thought I was accomplishing a lot. Or So I thought. But I had to learn it the hard way that I was also lowering the caliber of my work.

 

Needless to say, I will not be multitasking anymore. I aim to produce high-caliber work and I actually save time and quality by avoiding multitasking and instead to complete one activity at a time instead.

 

I credit three main things for my professional development and rise in productivity over the course of my career in so many fast-paced industries.

 

1. Accountability

 

I always hold accountability for my goals.

 

That usually makes me want to work harder and be more careful always as it would make anyone. Why, one could ponder. It is straight forward. It is because it would increase your sense of ownership and mine.

 

2. Motivation

 

Motivation, in my opinion, is a key element in increasing not just work productivity, but also people's ability to work hard and be happy, even children.

 

Unmotivated people will not like doing any assignments handed to them, and that is a reality, whether we want to accept it or not.

 

I have had the good fortune to consistently have my work acknowledged and valued.

 

A simple compliment can go a long way.

 

3. Action Plan

 

Above everything else, having an action plan would still be the most important aspect in productivity.

 

An action plan is, however, what?

 

An action plan is a list of the things you must do and the actions you must take to accomplish the goals you have set for yourself.

 

You should include the following in the action plan, for example:

 

·         An explanation of your desired outcomes

·         Actions that had to be taken in order to reach those goals

·         Set a timeline

·         Set each assignment and goal's due date

 

And the best thing about having all of your goals in one place is that it makes tracking your progress and successfully planning things out so much simpler and much more convenient.

 

The actions required for you to accomplish your goals should be laid out in a comprehensive action plan. And do not forget to set a start date and an end date as well, which will help you to achieve your goals much more quickly.

 

However, why exactly do you need an action plan and how would it really benefit you?

 

An action plan will help you stay on track and it will keep you motivated and focused throughout. It will also provide you with a clear direction, increase your productivity, and prepare you for any challenges that you may encounter along the way.

 

When you plan and write down your goals, it will help you to stay motivated and dedicated. Additionally, by outlining the steps you must take to finish your action plan, you can also prioritize your objectives according to effort.

 

How do you really construct an action plan is now the million-dollar question.

 

How would one even start constructing an action plan? What characteristics define a good action plan?

 

Although writing an action plan may appear complicated, it is actually not that difficult if you follow a straightforward and simple framework. It may take some effort, but I can assure you that it will be worthwhile because it will keep you motivated and focused while you work towards attaining your goals.

 

Really, all it takes to build an action plan are four easy actions.

 

·         Set SMART goals

·         Create a list of actions

·         Set a timeline

·         Monitor the progress

 

1. Set SMART Goals

 

Always use the SMART outline prior to writing your action plan.

 

SPECIFIC – Always have well defined goals in mind.

 

MEASURABLE – Make sure your goals can be measured by including measurable indicators in all of your plans.

 

ATTAINABLE – You must be certain that your goals can be attained given the time, experience, etc., that you have.

 

RELEVANT – Your goals should always be in line with your requirements, interests, and capabilities.

 

TIMELY – Always give yourself a deadline for completing each of your goals.

 

2. Create a List of Actions

 

To achieve each goal, you must make a list of the tasks you must carry out.

You will need to break down your key goals into more manageable objectives during this process. This helps you go toward your goals in an organized manner and makes the ultimate objectives less intimidating and nerve-wracking.

 

Always keep in mind that the actions you set down should be doable and practical.

 

If a task seems too overwhelming, break it down into two or three smaller, more manageable action items.

 

To build a strategy that will get you to your ultimate goal, clearly outline each activity.

 

3. Set a Timeline

 

Along with giving each of your goals a deadline, you should also give each job in the process a completion date. Again, in order to sustain the steady progress you are making toward your goal, you must always establish a time frame you can realistically adhere to.

 

4. Monitor your Progress

 

Make sure to explain how you will make sure each of the tasks you've written down will be finished by the deadline. By doing this, you will be able to see how far along you are with each of your goals. Always be clear about the benchmarks you'll be using to gauge progress, such as the number of jobs finished.

 

Remember that an action plan is not something that must be followed rigidly. You will need to review your action plan as you develop and as your situation changes and make the necessary modifications to suit your new requirements.

 

These are my go-to strategies, and using them should enable you to master productivity and efficiency.

 

Complete your tasks. Be effective. Realize success.

Welcome 2023

 

It's been a trying year but I am grateful for the lessons learned. Through all the experiences, I've grown stronger.

I do owe it to dear family and friends who were there helping me get through the toughest year.

After so many years, I finally let go of all the negative people and things in my life; everything that was holding me back. And I've never felt better. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder.

Why did it take me this long to do this?

Well, no point wondering. No point looking back. I'm just going to look forward.

Aside from choosing to let people go... Without a choice, I've lost so many people dear to me. As much as I miss them and as sad as I am, it has taught me how precious life truly is, and that we should all treasure our loved ones who are still here with us. We should always remind them how much they mean to us and how much we love them.

This year has also taught me to be patient.

I've had a few close calls with a nervous breakdown but I fought through and came out of it stronger.

I've had to juggle work and had to make sure my family was okay.

Between my mum and the two kids, I've been trying to keep up with their doctors’ appointments in between work and my own personal goals.

But that is okay. I want to make sure my family is okay first.

On the bright side, I've managed to accomplish quite a bit this year and published my second book. It was a mad rush but I did it. I kept to my goal of publishing a book each year since 2021 and I hope to continue to do so.

So here we are on the last day of 2022 and I'm grateful for the good and the bad 2022 has thrown at me.

It surprised me how everything suddenly and miraculously worked in my favour when I decided to not allow negativity into my life. I realized how my then situation was only leading me to a blessing. Nothing was a mistake.

Life hits you differently when you stop trying to prove you didn't say that or you didn't do that. You can't fix every lie and rumour and neither can you defend yourself every time something is said about you. Just keep being you.

It took me a whole year to understand that sometimes a person doesn't even love you for real. They just know you're a good person and they would hate to see you loving another the way you loved them. Well? I take happiness over history and am letting that toxic shit go.

I'm proud of myself. I went through every type of pain, family issues, trust issues, heartbreak, insecurities and depression... I went through it all and never gave up.

I know I am on the right path because I feel good about moving forward and I cannot care less about looking back.

I will focus more on the people who inspire me rather than annoy me. This way, I know I will get much further in life.

Now it is time to do what is best for me. I am going to my wounds into wisdom.

I can't re-write my past but I can grab a clean sheet of paper and write my future and I sure am looking forward to 2023.

These past couple of years, there were places I thought I was destined to go, for which I was never meant. There were people I thought would ride with me forever, but at the first junction, upped and left.

There were hardships I thought would last a lifetime, but with time were swiftly swept away. There were plans I thought I had all set out, but those were not the cards of life I was dealt. There were times I thought things would end up differently, but I now understand that God always knows best.

I am now so confident about God's plan that I don't even get upset anymore when things don't go my way.

So this is me kissing the past goodbye. This is me leaving some of the baggage behind and learning how to forgive myself.

The burdens that I carried for too long, the fears that haunt me with every new exciting opportunity and the voices inside my head that cripple me from finding joy... this is me kissing them all goodbye.

I am still learning that the past don't always repeat itself, that I've grown and learned and evolved so I can trust myself to make better decisions.

And for you who are reading this; I hope you find the courage to change your life; in the small ways, in the big ways, in every way that matters. I hope you do not end this story with a heart full of regrets. I hope you do not spend 2023 just waiting for your life to begin.

I hope you realize that this is not the practice run, this is not the preview. This is it. There is nothing to do but leap. There is nothing to do but allow yourself to exist as boldly and honestly as you can.

You will think you have forever, but you do not. It all happens, and it happens quickly. You are not waiting on another person, or the right timing, or for everything to fall into place. You are waiting to feel ready enough to exist within the question, to not need every answer, and to know that this life does not come to us to be perfectly understood, but to be fully experienced, in every direction we can possibly reach.

Happy New Year!

#BriannaWiest #RaniaNaim #Fairy #KristenButler #CatherinePulsifer