"I Love You"

Sometimes you just need someone to tell you they love you...

It also depends......does that person mean it when they do tell you they love you or are they just saying it out of habit? There's a big difference.

No doubt it does hurt more when they just spit those three words out and not even mean it or do anything to prove it.

"Don't say you love me if you don't mean it because I might do something stupid like believe it."

We should stop trusting words and instead start trusting actions.

We should also understand that when someone loves you, they don't have to say it because you should already be able to tell by the way they treat you.

You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously. So if you say it, mean it!

It is the same thing with the word "sorry".

You can say "sorry" and "I love you" as much as you want but if you can't prove it, your words don't mean a thing.

People say hate is strong word, but so is love and people are throwing that around like it's nothing.

Never say "I love you" if you really don’t care.

Never talk about feelings if they aren't really there.

Never hold someone's hand if you're going break their heart.

Never say you're going to if you don't plan to start.

Never look into someone's eyes if all you do is lie.

Never say "hi" if you really mean "goodbye".

Never take someone's feelings for granted because you never know how much courage it took for them to express them...

For me, I don’t let people in often and I mean what I say.

If I tell you that you're my friend that means a lot.

If I tell you I love you, I know that it isn’t just a phrase or expression and you need to know that I actually love you in the best and most honest way that I can.

You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.

I don’t say I love you out of habit or just for conversation. When I say it, I really mean it. Why can’t everyone do the same? Why are there always someone who would mess with someone else’s feelings?

Love ends when you stop caring.

Forgive the heart that hurts you and don't hurt the heart that loves you.. And don’t ever cry over anyone who won’t cry over you.

Don’t be selfish. If you do not love the way her hair curls at the ends or her nose wrinkles when she laughs then let her go. If you don’t see her as a masterpiece then let her go, because someone else will.

Don’t be selfish. If you don’t love the way she sneezes or the way she dribbles the toothpaste down her chin when she brushes her teeth then let her go. If your heart doesn’t almost beat out of your chest when you wake up and the first thing you see is her soundly sleeping on your shoulder, someone else would kill for that.

Being with someone when you know you don’t love them is cruel. It's not only cruel, it's holding them back from someone that could give them everything. Someone that feels waves breaking in their rib cage when they see her walk around the corner. Someone that has had the worst of days, but rainbows suddenly appear at the thought of her. Someone who hears the sound of her voice and it soothes the darkest of nightmares. If that is not you, let her go. She is wonder, she is magic, she deserves someone who believes that every single day, not just on certain days. 

I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we choose.

SO…

Don’t say it unless you mean it and if you mean it, you better be ready to prove it.

Don’t say she is perfect if she is not good enough for you.

Don’t say you’re aching if you haven’t felt anywhere near as she does.

Don’t say you’re sorry if you don’t know what you’ve done wrong.

Don’t say you want her to be happy if she can’t be happy with you.

For the ladies, letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.

One simply do not go around destroying the people you say you love. 

Thank you Engelbert … BUT ….

"I, thank you, Engelbert Humperdinck, BUT the people I have to thank most would be your lovely wife Patricia and your children."

People always ask why at my age (a whole 37 years young) I am such a huge fan of Engelbert Humperdinck? What draws you to his kind of music?

I grew up on Elvis, Cliff Richard, BREAD, and Engelbert Humperdinck. That’s all I ever heard playing around my house while I was growing up. But I took a special liking and interest to Engelbert because of the fond memories that were created with his music.

I first took a liking to Engelbert at the age of 10. I didn’t have a bad childhood but I would not say I had the greatest either. It had its ups and downs although I say more downs… and I thoroughly enjoyed the days I spent with my maternal grandparents. They were a typical Eurasian family where music played an important part of our lives.

I remember my grandfather and I would listen to Engelbert on cassettes! YES cassettes. He introduced me to The Last Waltz and Release Me. We would sing these songs by heart together. We were never in tune but we had fun and more importantly, we made fond memories. I remember we used to play the song and pause it, write the lyrics down, continue playing it…pause it….write the lyrics…and if we didn’t get it, we would hit the rewind button.

My grandfather and I did this while my grandmother cooked and cleaned and sang to his songs. It was the happiest times of my growing up years.

When CDs were IN, they had the lyrics on the CD booklets and my grandfather and I thought it was the bomb!! I was about 12 then. We would now listen to Enge’s CDs and read these lyrics and sing along to the songs together. We laughed so much sometimes that it made us cry. I remember my grandfather’s grin clearly. In fact, he has the same smile as Engelbert!

As my grandpa got older and I spent lesser time with them as I was a rebellious teenager by then and was mostly out enjoying with friends… my grandpa’s eyesight were not as good as it was a few years ago. But I still loved him dearly and by then, I was introduced to computers. I remember, I typed every single Engelbert song (lyrics) out in a bigger and bolder font for him. I passed it to him and the sight of him being so thrilled will always be something that I will remember clearly.

Our favourite song from Engelbert by then was “Love Me With All Your Heart”.

Even during those years, I have not seen a single LIVE performance by Enge. I only knew what he looked like but never saw any videos! There was no such thing as YouTube back then.

My teenage years were rough. I was always so unhappy and depressed. I was on a downhill. Suicide played on my mind. What saved me? Believe it or not, music did! Mostly Engelbert songs. I would recall the happy times with my grandfather.

When I got married and moved from Singapore to America, my grandpa put a bow on an Engelbert CD that had “Love Me With All Your Heart” on it. The first few years living in a foreign country with total strangers around me, I cried every day. I was homesick but again what made me smile again was Engelbert’s music. By then, I found DVDs and YouTube videos and watched Engelbert LIVE for the first time and I was even more hooked than I was. I read up more about him and learned about him. I am one to always have a good first instinct and just by watching his LIVE performances, I felt that this man had no airs. A few years later, I would find out that my instincts would be correct.

In 2002, my beloved grandfather passed away. He passed away on the date Engelbert was born; May 2. Coincidence? Probably. But to me, I felt there was a meaning to it. I still don’t know what it is though…

I was devastated. He was the pillar in my life. He was the one male figure I trusted with my life and was the one I knew who truly loved me. And now he is gone….

During his final send off, we sang “Love Me With All Your Heart” in Church. I am sure he would have been smiling down at us.

As my life was again slowly falling apart, Engelbert saved me. His music kept me going. It kept good memories alive and little did I know, Engelbert would now create new memories for me.

To honour my grandfather and the memories I have of him, and of Engelbert who helped create those memories with my grandfather, I had a tattoo done with my favourite part of my grandfather’s and my favouite Engelbert song; Love Me With All Your Heart.  

In 2003, I was finally making good money in USA and when I heard Engelbert would be performing in Connecticut USA (an hour away from where I lived), I bought my mum an air ticket to come visit from Singapore so we could attend the concert together. It would be the first time I am seeing this great man LIVE. And it would be the first time I would get to meet Engelbert and build new memories.

So you ask why I love Engelbert? Because Engelbert have saved me many times and he still continues to do so. When I am down or depressed, I turn on his songs and I am all smiles again.

It will be hard for anyone really to understand but it doesn’t matter. As long as I know. That is all that matters.

The fact that through it all, I have also made new friends through the same interest; Engelbert Humperdinck.

-----

I, thank you, Engelbert Humperdinck, for playing such an important part of my early life up till now. BUT the people I have to thank most would be your lovely wife Patricia and your children. Without the love of Patricia and her constant faith in you, you wouldn’t be here doing what you do best. She never lost faith that you would be a star even in the tough times.

Patricia is definitely a woman of strength. I could never do what she had done and continue to do up till now. I would not have been able to ‘share’ my husband with the millions of women around the world who adored him.

Then I have to thank your children. I am certain they had their fair share of sacrifices they had to make while sharing their beloved father with the world. The many times you had to miss possibly milestones in their lives. I am also certain even up till now, they still face difficulties of being the children of Engelbert Humperdinck.

So truly, I not only THANK YOU. I thank your wife and children for sharing you with me and the rest of the world.

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Engelbert Humperdinck In Singapore

Early this year I saw them advertising for a Tom Jones concert here in Singapore, and that got me feeling kind of disappointed. I know he has a big fan base here but for me, personally, I would rather if it was Engelbert.

Then April 30, I still had a bunch of concert credits untouched for the year 2016 and I tweeted... "So NKOTB isn't touring this year. So what should I use my concert credits for? Backstreet Boys or Engelbert?"

What I did not expect was to be tagged to an Engelbert Live in Singapore photo on Facebook the very next morning!! I am glad I have good friends who know what I like! But to think I had just tweeted about it and now it is confirmed he will be in Singapore.... I was absolutely shocked!

I have after all been checking the tour page on Engelbert's website ever so often and was even told in December last year by someone close to him that Engelbert will be in Singapore soon.... but I was never one to believe it till it happens!!

This could actually have been better if I got the news on May 2 which happens to be Engelbert's 80th birthday and also the day my grandfather passed away. Why these two occasions have such a great meaning to me? Well, I shared a very special bond with my grandfather. I have such wonderful memories of him and I listening to Engelbert CDs together. My grandfather's favourite song was "Love Me With All Your Heart" and we sang it at his funeral and 4 years ago, I had part of the lyrics tattooed on my arm in honour of Engelbert and also my Grandpa. So May 2 does hold special memories to me.

People ask why at my age I am such a huge fan of Engelbert? Why can't I be? I was introduced to his songs at a young age.... I made special memories with my mum and grandfather through Engelbert's music. His music had helped me push through difficult times in my life. Watching Engelbert's concert DVDs gives me goose bumps. This man has such a powerful stage presence!! You feel it just by watching his concert DVD and you can only imagine what it is like when you're right there watching him perform LIVE.

Between the year 2003 and 2012, I got to see him LIVE in concert 5 times. Twice in America, once in Malaysia and two more times in Singapore. Every show held special memories and Engelbert never fails to wow me!

I have also had the honour of meeting the man twice between 2003 and 2012. What you see is what you get. He's a stunning human being. So full of love. So down to earth. It was after the first meeting that my love for him grew a lot more. I admired him more. And I respected him more. The love he gave to his fans was admirable! The love for him grew more in 2012 when we met him again. It was during a time I was struggling to cope with personal issues and being able to have that opportunity of a lifetime again helped see me through the roughest of time. Yes, Engelbert does have that effect on me somehow.

Not to mention, I got an Engelbert FOLLOW on Twitter which almost knocked me off my chair when it happened! Ha. And this sweet man would always cheer me up by showing me attention on Twitter. Either replying to my tweets, or Retweeting or Liking them. Then on Instagram too. What more can I say about this man with a big heart. His love for his fans is simply amazing!

Fast forward two years later, I started to get to know people close and dear to Engelbert. Which made this whole fan experience even more exciting....however, through the months, through the chats and through the years, I have learned to accept them as individuals and not because of who they are or if they are associated with Engelbert. Of course, watching Engelbert now will never be the same but..... you get what I mean....

Yes, I would love to meet Engelbert again but I will not ask those people for a backstage pass because it is just the person I am. As I said, I love them as individuals and will not use them to get to Engelbert. I will research and do it my way.

So back to when his concert was announced.... it did not give any prices for tickets but I was expecting it to be on the high side since the venue was already mentioned. I started my countdown timer....the first countdown was to when ticket sales started and the second was to his actual concert!

May 6 would be when tickets went on sale. The day before I had already installed the ticket purchase application on my phone and walked through it so I won't stumble when it was time.

When ticket sales started, I was out for a meeting. Actually, I was in the car heading for my meeting..... I got on the app and tried to book the front row tickets. But the application somehow kept assigning lousy seats. I was getting frustrated and also nervous as the clock was ticketing.... so I called the ticketing hotline and YES! I managed to get front row seats!! Happily gave my credit card number and it was confirmed! YES!! I will be in the front row watching Engelbert this July 15!!

Right after my meeting, I headed to the box office so I could collect the physical tickets up. Oh yes, I wanted to hold it in my hot little hand!!

.... I thought I would be happy with just seeing Engelbert in Singapore but beginning of June, his website announced a concert in Manila!! It will be five days before the Singapore concert. Now I am stressed because I would love to be there for that show as well.... but I do not like going to Manila. I guess it kind of settled my problem about whether to go or not when the website did not allow anyone without a Philippines credit card to purchase the concert tickets. But days passed and I really wanted to go for a second Engelbert concert!! So I asked a colleague to help me book the tickets and paid her for it. Wish I had thought about it earlier because I waited too long and I am in the 6th row!! Oh well....better than nothing....

So I got my Engelbert Manila concert tickets too, Flights and hotel booked. I am all set for an adventure.

Now tickets secured.... I had to find outfits for both shows.

My Singapore outfit was inspired by someone close to Enge himself. So I am excited about that one.

For Manila I had to come up with something as I was advised by my Filipino friends that since I will be there alone, that I should try not to dress too revealing. So I decided to bling an outfit!

And then it was the posters....I know in Asia, not many who attend an Engelbert concert will have posters but I wanted to go all out and so I made two posters! Why be like the rest when you can be different and stand out?

As you can tell, I am extremely excited. I have so much planned. This only just started. I have a whole bunch of stuff I still need to finish within the next 13 days before I fly out to Manila for my first Engelbert concert this 2016!!

Can't believe when I first started this countdown, it was at 72 days...and now I only have 13 days!!

Still cannot believe I will finally be seeing Engelbert again!

Farewell Mama ... Till We Meet Again ...

It is the day after we said our last goodbye to my Mama.

Every time I mentioned "Mama" many of my friends in other parts of the world had thought it was my mother. But I cannot blame them. Customs and traditions are different here in Asia. "Mama" is actually what the Chinese would call their dad's mother.

It was a long week…emotional and draining. When we got home from the crematorium yesterday, I slept for hours!! It was sleep I needed, sleep that I had lost the last 4 days.

Today, we went on with our usual routine because it was what my Mama wanted. She did not want us mourning for her after we said our last goodbye. Right after the cremation, as we tossed away our white t-shirts and arm patches, that was the last of our mourning for her.

Let’s rewind back to five days ago.

I vaguely remember my mum coming home in the afternoon, and telling me, “Mama had passed away… Papa has gone to help settle things for her funeral…”

It didn’t really hit me then. I went on with my usual Sunday routine with the family. I did not even know how to comfort my dad when he got home to rest…. What do I say to him? What do I do? All I asked was if there was anything I could do to help, to let me know….

Mama passing on was something I never expected even though she was 97 years old. I guess in the back of my mind, I thought she would live forever since she was such a strong woman. But who really does live forever right? Silly me.

Reality did not even hit me when my mum and I took my kids to the funeral parlour to pay our respects on the second day. Seeing my Mama lying in the coffin so peaceful did not even hit me because she looked as if she was just sleeping. It started to hit hard on the 3^rd day when the monks came in for the evening prayers and when the chanting was going on…. my Mama was gone. But being the “strong” person that I am and always portrayed myself to be, I secretly let out a few tears and quickly wiped them away pretending to still be strong. It was killing me deep down inside but I never was one to show my weakness by crying and letting everyone see me cry.

I finally let the tears flow that night when I got home and was in bed trying to get some sleep. I sobbed quietly and tears just flowed like a river. I was filled with so much regrets….things I could have or should have done when my Mama was still alive.

I was not her first grandchild unlike on my mum’s side where I was the first and thus I was spoilt rotten. But that does not mean she did not love me. I know she did love me very much and she had her own way of spoiling me and giving me attention.

When I was born, my parents told me how excited my Mama was. She paid big money to buy me gold and not to mention pearls that were crushed so I could drink it for great complexion when I grew up. She lived in the North side of Singapore and we lived in the East and every week, she would take the public bus and travel and hour or so to visit with me. Every time, she would be carrying me or holding me…. Of course I don’t remember most of that but I believe so because of all the photos I have seen of her with me. You will not find a single photo where my Mama wasn’t fussing over me.

When I was about 17 years old, my dad brought me a pair of gold dangly earrings. He told me my Mama had given it to me and that she had designed it herself. I was a self-centered teen and did not think much of it then….thinking that she had given all her grandchildren some kind of gold….. until we attended a family event one day and I wore those earrings because I somehow wanted to show my Mama I appreciated her giving it to me (even though I still thought then that I wasn’t the only one who got it). I remember we were all together talking and my Mama was there looking at the earrings on me with her sweet smile. It was when all my other cousins had left, when she pointed at the earrings, gave me thumbs up, smiled and said “swee ah”… (‘swee’ meant pretty/beautiful). It was then I realized, I probably was the only grandchild who got that special designed gold earrings.

I was not super close to my Mama like how I was and still is with my granny (maternal grandmother). But I grew up with my granny and practically lived with her half my life. But that did not mean I did not love my Mama.

We would visit her every once in a while but even so, there was always a communication barrier. She only spoke Teochew which I could not. I wish she at least spoke Mandarin so we could have talked. But whatever we had to say to each other was always being translated by my dad.

She may look like a very traditional Chinese woman but trust me; she is the coolest traditional Chinese woman you will ever come across!! She would always like seeing me with my tattoos or coloured hair, or many earrings, etc. I always looked forward to her salted duck soup during Chinese New Year.

My Mama was a very neat and well-dressed woman. She was vain and always carried herself real well. She always said, “Being married does not given any woman any excuse to not make up or dress well… a woman must always continue to carry herself well so that her husband will not get bored of her.” ….Wise words from my Mama.

I now think I know where my strength as a woman come from… not only from my own mother but from both my grandmas. Which makes me almost Iron woman huh?

My Mama raised five children on her own when my grandfather passed away when my dad was still quite young. The struggles she went through to feed them and give them an education. Something which takes real strength and to really be admired for!

During her wake, I learned something else about my Mama….

I was made aware of what a great woman she was and how big a heart she had. Not that I did not know that already… but it only made more sense…

I was told about how they owned houses along Telok Kurau and even after my grandfather had passed away, and when she was struggling to support five kids, she would still take care of the other kids in the neighbourhood. The kids were not just Chinese but Malays, Indians and Eurasians. The kids in the neighbourhood would call her “Mama”.

I was so proud to learn about that of my Mama.

She accepted my mum with open arms even though my mum wasn’t a Chinese. That alone makes me respect my Mama even more!

The last few years of her life were a bit crazy. She had her mood swings and could not recognize family and such. I did not visit her much as she lived with an aunt I did not care so much for due to personal issues. I only visited her a few times when she was at the hospital. For that, I truly have lots of regrets. But with the issue between that Aunt and me….I had every reason to avoid her for I felt she was a threat to my child and I then.

I wish things could have been different but as they say, “Could have, would have, should have….”

But hearing stories about my Mama during her wake was comforting.

My aunt was telling me about my Mama preparing for her own funeral years before. She planned out all she wanted at her funeral and she even designed her Cheongsam which she wanted to be sent off in for her final journey. She even had her under garments packed away with the Cheongsam. I giggled when I heard that. But what was funnier was when my aunt continued with the story…..

Ten years later, my Mama said the Cheongsam is not outdated because the one she had prepared had big flowers and now small flowers on Cheongsam was in style…..and so she designed yet another Cheongsam with small flowers to have it packed away for her final journey and donated the previous one. That wasn’t it…..her under garments?? She washed them every year and put them back together with her Cheongsam. I couldn’t help but laugh.

Oh….she also asked for a long zip for the Cheongsam she designed and when asked why a long zip? Her reply was priceless…. “Because when I die, I will be stiff, so it will be easier for you to put the Cheongsam on me”.

She was a Buddhist and during a Buddhist funeral, the immediate family members will have to sit through an hour long prayers at least with kneeling. My Mama said, “When I die, all of you sit down and don’t kneel because all of you will be old by then and once you kneel, you won’t be able to stand up and I don’t want any injuries…”

How can you not love this woman? Who did not love this woman? She had such a lovely character and a good natured woman!

I did not understand the traditions and such of the Buddhist faith so when we went for my Mama’s wake, it was a learning experience. From bowing and offering a joss stick each time we came to the wake…..to wearing a white top and a cloth patch on your right arm to symbolize if you were the grandchild, great-grandchildren, son or daughter, etc. Different colours symbolized a different family member. I wore a full white patch to symbolize I was the grand daughter who was married.

During the prayers when the monks were chanting, my mum, daughter and I joined in. We needed to be told what to do but we did as we were taught. It was our last show of respect to a woman who showed no hate.

The day before her final journey, after the evening prayers, we walked out of the parlour and sent a house over to the other side of the world for my Mama when she gets there. It was a house made of paper that we burned. Still it did not hit me yet……

On the final day before our final goodbyes….I lost it during the prayers. I could not remain the strong person that I was any longer. Seeing my dad mourning the loss of his mother and looking mighty frail himself, I was hurting inside. Then seeing my daughter cry when she hardly even knew my Mama but the few times she had visited with her…..the final view of my Mama before her coffin was closed was the hardest. It would be the last we would all see her physically on this earth. Tears just rolled down my cheeks like a river….as I comforted my parents and my daughter putting aside my own grief.

As her coffin was placed in the hearse, the immediate family were to follow behind, walking on foot, for a block before getting in to the chartered bus that would follow behind the hearse and take us to the crematorium. Oh and we could not use shoes or slippers, we were all given white socks and wore it till after the cremation.

I stayed closed to my parents and daughter to make sure they would be alright.

More prayers at the crematorium where the immediate family walked around my Mama’s coffin three times as the monk chanted prayers. It wasn’t easy knowing this is almost coming to an end…

Finally the family made our way to the ‘viewing gallery’. I knew this would be the toughest part. I had to be strong! I had to put my own grief aside because I had to make sure my parents and daughter would be alright……

The song playing in the background sent chills down my spine as we see my Mama’s coffin wait being cremated. As I am holding my dad who needed support most, I was shaking and could not stop the tears. I think it was the most I have cried in the five days. My dad had held his composure as well until my Mama’s coffin was sent in the room to be cremated and as the doors closed behind it, my dad lost his composure and gave out the most heartbreaking cry I have ever heard from him. I lost it but had to keep at being strong as he needed me at that point.

Rest in Peace Mama. You have had a good long life but you have also worked hard. It is now time for you to rest.

I will take care of Papa. You don’t have to worry about that.

We were really blessed to have had my Mama’s love and presence in our lives for so many years. Losing her has been a very painful experience for not only me, but everyone whose lives she had touched.

This has truly been a time where our faith was being tested. It has not been easy to accept her death while I am sure that she is in a much better place, it is still difficult to let go.

To my family:

Every family has their issues and problems. But I am proud that we put all our differences aside during Mama’s final farewell.

Again, I would like to thank my friends who sent my family and I words of comfort through FB comments or private messages, emails, Whatsapp messages and text messages.... your loving support has been a great help. Thank you for being there when we needed you most. No words could ever express our appreciation for the love and support you have shown to us. We are deeply grateful.

On behalf of my family, I thank you.

R.I.P. Mama. You will forever be missed but never forgotten. 

Happy 80th Birthday Engelbert

May 2, 2016 – Engelbert Humperdinck is 80 today!

I would like to take this opportunity to wish this great man a very Happy Birthday and would like to wish him lots of love and health!

His birthday is an occasion for celebration! Although extraordinary persons like him should be celebrated every day, not just once a year!

The advantage of him being 80 is that throughout his life, he had the opportunity to spread his love through music to so many people.

Engelbert Humperdinck was born Arnold Dorsey in Madras, India on May 2, 1936. He was 30 when he had his first hit ‘Release Me’. Then in 1967, Engelbert had three hits that went on to become classics with ‘There Goes My Everything’, ‘The Last Waltz’ and ‘Release Me’. These three songs he cannot not do today at his concerts. I have attended four of his concerts and I do not recall once that he did not do any of those three songs!!

Strangely, I was only born 10 years after that, yet I am a huge fan! His music has helped me through difficult periods in my life. His music and him alone have allowed me to make special and fond memories with my mother and my late grandfather. He may not know it but in his own special way, he has helped me through life… I hope to get that opportunity in July to meet him again and tell him.

I want to tell him ‘thank you for being there for me no matter what’. He is a wonderful source of joy. He brings so much joy through his music and his special ways and now he's sending out love and good vibes via Twitter.

I shared the love for Engelbert Humperdinck; a great entertainer and human being with another great man; my late grandfather. I will never forget the times I would listen to Engelbert’s music with my grandpa. His favourite was “Love Me With All Your Heart”. We even sang it in Church before sending my grandpa off on his final journey. Till this day, I cry whenever I listen to that song. But it is the most beautiful song! So to honour these two great man, I had part of the lyrics to the song tattooed on my arm. I am fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to show it to Engelbert himself personally in 2012 when we met in Singapore.

Words alone are not enough to express how happy I am that Engelbert is celebrating another year of his life! My wish for him on his birthday is that he is, and will always be, happy and healthy! Always stay the same Enge - genuine and true.

May your special day bring you an extra share of everything that makes you the happiest in the world. Hoping your day will be as special as you are.

Happy Birthday, Engelbert!

You’re the best!! See you in Singapore in July!

Sixteen Years Together

Today my husband and I will celebrated our 16^th wedding anniversary. It is amazing how time passes with the blink of an eye.

When we got married, I weighed about 120 pounds. And yes, I thought I was heavy even then. Fast forward sixteen years, two kids and about a zillion pounds later, one thing hasn’t changed. That man I married still makes me feel like I am the only woman on Earth for him.

This evening, we will spend a few hours alone together. We will have a nice dinner and listen to some good music performed by an old friend of mine. We can talk and laugh about the past, present and future…. and like the clock striking midnight in Cinderella, we will head back home to our beautiful ordinary life so gratefully knowing how blessed we have been all these years.

 

To me, I feel that wedding anniversaries are most enjoyable when the couple has stood the test of time, faced the storm and the rain and yet are still together. And it is such a joyous moment when family and friends come congratulating them for having made it so far…. That is exactly where my husband and I are.

Our marriage may have been a bumpy ride with many speed breakers but that is what that has made us circumvent those obstacles.

My friends often quote my marriage as an example of a perfect marriage but what they fail to see is that the honest truth is that my marriage is actually the coolest adventure that two people ever took!

The adventure that most would think are only stories they would read in books which may not even be true but for both my husband and I, we know it is for real because we are the characters in that story…

A girl from a small but bustling city, meeting a guy from a small quiet town 12,000 miles away from her. How did they meet? Over the internet. The adventures of traveling half way around the world to see if this connection of love was as true as it was in real life than over the internet. The heartaches of leaving everything I had built behind and not to mention family and friends so I could build a new life in a country (America) I had always dreamed of moving to. The pains of adjusting to a new country where I would be an ‘alien’. The pains of settling immigration matters.

But we did it together. We made it work because we worked together. There was never an “I” or “Me” or “Yours”…. It was always “Us” and “Ours”. That’s the difference.

Imagine, we made a long distance relationship work long before there was Facebook, Skype, or even Whatsapp. We depended on emails, mIRC, messenger, and tons of calling cards which we spent a fortune on. But we made it work.

And as my husband and I continue to grow old together, I know for a fact that every wrinkle would signify a beautiful memory that we have shared together as husband and wife.

Our marriage is nowhere near perfect. We fight like any other married couples do. But we work things out and move on. The important thing is, we support each other and encourage each other to be better people and to do the best we can whether as parents or at work.

I hope my husband will know that every time when we do fight or argue, I may have a thousand reasons to be angry at him….but I also want him to remember that I also have a million reasons to love him too.

Through it all, the best thing that we have done together is raising two beautiful smart children.

Nevertheless, on our 16^th anniversary, I would like my husband to know how much I have enjoyed annoying him all this time and how excited I am to keep doing so in the years to come…. *wink*

When I got married, I did not only get a husband but a best friend.

So my dear friends, if you would be so kind to raise your glasses with me: to sixteen years of marriage and a lifetime of good health, love and happiness.

Concert Of A Lifetime

The date was February 19^th 2012 – that was four years ago to date.

This date will forever hold perfect memories of a lifetime… or until I grow old and senile or start suffering from dementia…. but until that happens (hopefully not)… I hope to forever keep this memory close to my heart.

Months prior to this date, I heard Engelbert Humperdinck would be performing in Singapore again. I was thrilled as the last my mum and I saw him in concert was in the year 2010 but I will get to that later… Of course I bought the most expensive tickets for both my mum and me. Unfortunately, we did not get the best seats as I was so caught up with work and did not buy the tickets when it first went on sale. But we were just glad to get tickets even though we were in the 16^th row or something like that from the stage.

Gosh the last we saw Engelbert in concert before this was in June of 2010 in Malaysia. We did not get to meet him though. But before that, we saw him in concert for the first time in October of 2003. I was then living in USA and I bought my mum a plane ticket to come visit me from Singapore so we could go see Engelbert at Foxwoods Casino. That was our first Engelbert concert and the first time we got to meet him!!

Anyway, to fast forward all the nitty gritty details…. my mum and I were fortunate enough to be given backstage passes to meet the Legend himself again and not just that, but we were given concert tickets – front row seats!

Engelbert was amazing as always. He gave his best to his fans who like both my mum and I, thoroughly enjoyed every single minute of the concert. I was torn though…. towards the end of the concert, I was feeling sad as the concert was over and I did not know when I would see him perform again….but I was also excited because we will finally get to go backstage!

As both my mum and I sat backstage and waited for Engelbert, we mingled with his band members and I swear my heart was beating so hard and fast I thought it was going to pop right out of my chest! A few minutes after, Engelbert walked out and everything felt a lot better. I guess that is the kind of energy he gives out…. He lets you feel so much at ease to be around him.

He was absolutely gorgeous inside and out!! First thing he did was to give both my mum and I the biggest and warmest hug. Yes, he gives the best hugs!! We introduced ourselves and we just talked as if we had known one another for a long time. I showed him the tattoo on my arm that had part of the lyrics to “Love Me With All Your Heart” and he said to me, “you mean you had it tattooed?” I went on to explain that I did it in memory of my grandfather as it was his favourite song.

The best part about this meeting was the fact that we also got to meet his family; Scott, Louise and Patricia!! My regret…. that we did not ask to have a photo taken together!!! I sure hope we get that chance one day in the near future.

We presented him with a little award we had made for him and also had him sign on one which we had planned to put in our showcase.

It was a meeting of a lifetime!! Engelbert has got such a beautiful warm heart. You can’t help but love him and feel so much love for him especially when you’re standing right in front of him and looking in to his eyes. 

Till this day, I am still very grateful to the Legend himself for taking the time out to meet with both my mum and me after his performance. I especially appreciated it because I know he must have been exhausted, yet he gave us so much love. I am also truly grateful to the people who made it possible for us to make this memory.

No one can take Engelbert’s place. In fact, lots of other celebrities should follow in his footsteps. He’s so down to earth. He gives so much back to his fans. He appreciates his fans and never fails to show it to them every single day. He takes the trouble to respond to his fans on social media. He makes us feel special. This is a true gentleman. A true celebrity who deserves all the success.

He may not know it, but a simple gesture of ‘liking’ or ‘retweeting’ my tweets about him ,goes a long way. It can turn my most awful day in to the best day ever. It can put a smile on my face for the whole day and it lifts my spirits up without fail…. And when he does ‘tweet’ me….. I am on cloud 9.

I am one person who has to deal with a lot on my plate so in all honesty, Engelbert has been helping (without even knowing) me see the brighter side to things and life in general.

I hope to tell it to him one day. I hope to get to thank him one day.

“Never underestimate a girl’s love for her favourite band/singer. Never think, even for a minute, that she won’t defend them to her death. Because it’s not just the music that makes the band/singer her favourite. It’s the guys, it’s the girls, it’s the fans. People whom of which she has interacted with, thanks to the band/singer. That band/singer might have saved her life. Or maybe they just make her smile every day. That girl’s favourite band/singer, they have never broken her heart. They have yet to leave her. No wonder she finds such joy in her music.”