Going Back To School

In a few weeks, they will be closing the gates to my old Secondary school and possibly tearing down the whole building. I have mixed feelings about it. I never liked school when I was in Secondary but this whole place is filled with so many memories for me. Good and bad.

I decided to take the day off and together with both my kids, headed over to CHIJ Katong Convent Secondary to share some memories with my children, soak in all the memories of the place myself and to visit with the Aunty and Uncle from the bookshop who will finally be retiring.

My kids and I walked past Block 51. The memories already started to pour back in. How the void deck used to be our hang out after school. We’d meet with the boys from St Patricks. We’d head up the block and smoke. How the Town Council took away the stone chairs that were under the block because of us and in hopes it would stop us from hanging around…but we just sat on the dirty concrete floors.

Walked through the front gates of the school, only to pass the security. I then thought to myself, “Son of a gun….I am glad there was no such thing when I was in school. How would I escape during recess?” …. Haha

Everything was still the same….the foyer, the stairs heading up to the hall, the chapel…. We then made our way to the canteen where the bookshop was. Mr and Mrs Lim were both there. Mrs Lim was especially happy to see me. She’s always remembered me since I was a little girl in Primary 1. I would always cry and not want to go to school, so my mum would have to bribe me by taking me to the bookshop to buy something. Mrs Lim always remembered that.

She was thrilled to meet my kids and gave them each a pencil. And as we were chatting, my most hated teacher walks in. After the time I told her off, all she could do was give me half a smile. Haha.

We then went over to the drinks stall as the kids were getting thirsty.  The aunty and uncle there also remembered me.

Continued to walk around the school grounds. Went in to the AVA theatre, the art room, science labs, classrooms…. There were so many good and bad memories. I recalled the places we would hide at when we wanted to skip a class or assembly. The bridge that would connect St Patricks to our school, the fence with the hole we used to use to escape school whenever we wanted to.

Those were the days. That was my childhood. I just do not know how I would react if my daughter turned out to be exactly what I was in Secondary school?? I would say KARMA. Hahaha…..

Tua Pek Kong's Birthday

The temple beside my office had been setting up for what seemed like a big event. Yesterday, my new colleague Ah Ling and I walked over to the temple to ask what they were celebrating and I was pretty surprised to hear them say "Tua Pek Kong's Birthday." I thought his birthday was beginning of the year between February and March?

So I asked around as to why this was so....

You see, I'm still learning more about Taoism each day.

So from what I've found out. Yes, Tua Pek Kong's actual birthday is around February. But a Tua Pek Kong temple may celebrate his birthday a second time that year to to commemorate the opening of the temple or anniversary. There are usually a few days a temple may choose to celebrate the birthday or other auspicious events.

Now I understand. This event is pretty big. There have the Chinese wayang outside the temple and a huge area across the street that is serving dinner.

I've also learnt that this temple is called Soon San Teng and was founded in the late 19th century and has remained at the same location. The original temple was an attap-thatched house situated between banyan trees, and so Soon San Teng is also known as 'Banyan Tree Da Bo Gong (Tua Pek Kong) Miao'. The temple was later rebuilt into one with brick walls and tiled roofs.

Today, Soon San Teng temple celebrates the 8th Lunar Month which coincides with the birthday celebration for Da Bo Gong (Tua Pek Kong).

I met my mum after work and we had dinner at the Indian restaurant before heading to the temple to pay our respect and to watch a few minutes of wayang and take photos. Was a real interesting evening. I would like to head to the birthday celebrations at Pulau Ubin next year. That is an even bigger event! I just need to get the dates right.

The Cast of Potted Potter

Yesterday, my daughter together with two of her best friends caught the Olivier Award nominated Potted Potter at the Raffles Hotel Jubilee Hall. Any fool could have guessed that the girls had enjoyed the performance tremendously because my daughter couldn't stop talking about it once she got home and the girls kept texting back and forth about it.

My daughter then tweeted about the performance and one of the guys from Potted Potter replied. I then told my daughter that this could be the opportunity for her to tweet them back and asked if they would meet her for a photo and autograph? At worse, they won’t reply or just say ‘no’. But with our track record of meeting celebrities … why not give it a shot?

A few minutes later, they replied and would love to meet the girls. My daughter was over the moon!! Bet you five bucks she didn't even sleep properly last night! I did tell her to not get her hopes up too high until it happens because anything can happen with celebrities and performers.

So all of today, while I was at the office, she kept texting me about it and while she was doing that, the two wonderful performers were tweeting me about this evening. Looks like the plan was concrete. I then got in touch with the mothers of my daughter’s two other friends and arranged this meet-and-greet.

We were supposed to meet the performers; Benjamin Stratton and James Percy outside the venue after their last show.

Our first stop was Raffles City in hopes we could find some Singapore souvenirs. We did managed to buy two Singapore keychains and two postcards. Then walked over to Raffles Hotel.

We didn't have to wait long. Right after the show and as soon as the crowd started to clear out, the guys came right out! That was another thing that really impressed me. Most performers would take their time and rest and come out when they were ready but these guys wasted no time…rushed right out to make three young girls so very ‘giddy’.

About two minutes into meeting the girls, a couple approached them to ask if they could have their photos taken with them. Ben and James politely told them sure they could right after they meet with the girls. Gosh…. I really hope the couple weren't pissed waiting so long and I hope the couple didn't think of the guys as snobbish because they are not. They were just fulfilling what they promised 3 young fans. You cannot hold that against them.

The girls presented them with the souvenirs and postcards and they were like little boys on Christmas day. I suppose they really weren't expecting it?

My daughter presented them with her drawings on their performance set and they absolutely made her feel so special. Told her she nailed it and all. They signed a copy for her. The guys were also amazed with the girls’ home made wands that lit up. And about 10 minutes later, we said our goodbyes.

What great guys!!

Some may say they are not even well known celebrities and blah blah blah but they are two guys playing to sold out houses all over the world. They could have said, “No. Sorry we don’t have time”…but instead they agreed to meet three young fans.

I, personally didn't attend the performance. I would not have understood a thing because I am not a Harry Potter fan. But from what I have read about it and learned from my daughter, this performance was the Unauthorized Harry Potter Experience.  A parody. Benjamin and James takes on the ultimate challenge of condensing all seven Harry Potter books and a real life game of Quidditch (I hope I spelt it right) into seventy hilarious minutes.

However, I have been told that even if one did not know the difference between a horcrux and a hufflepuff, you would still have enjoyed Potted Potter and you would be roaring with laughter. Darn it!! Now they tell me…. I am just going to have to wait till they come back around here to catch them again.

Before I end this post, I would like to thank Benjamin Stratton and James Percy again for making 3 girls so very happy. I think they were on Cloud 9 that evening. I wish you guys all the best life has to offer and the very best of success because you deserve it. Thank you.

And as if that meeting wasn't wonderful enough. I walked in to my daughter’s room to find her jumping and almost hyperventilating because Benjamin Stratton had tweeted about meeting them and posted a photo of the gifts the girls got them.

Kudos to Benjamin Stratton and James Percy from Potted Potter!

Blast From The Past

I usually don’t have lunch when I am at work if I had taken breakfast in the morning but today was pretty exceptional and I am glad I went along with it.

My colleagues asked if I wanted to join them for lunch. The whole group was actually heading out together and that alone is pretty rare. So yes, I went and as we got out of the car, I was back at a place that held lots of memories to when I was a kid.

We were at Lorong Mydin for the great Wanton Noodles.

I just couldn't believe it was still there. Not much change to the coffee shop either, other than some minor renovations. What surprised even more was the familiar faces running the stall! It was the same husband and wife and my goodness….they have not aged!! (Is it the preservatives in their noodles? … ha)

Seriously, I have not been there since before I left for the USA and who knows how long before that….so I am guessing it’s been more than 20 years! How can this couple not age a day??

I told my colleagues that I was sorry to burst their bubble but I actually discovered this great place for Wanton Noodles long before they even did. I explained to them that I frequented the stall since I was a child!! Yeh, that long ago.

Our plates of wanton noodles finally came and I couldn't wait to get that first bite in to my mouth to see if that has changed or not.

I thought I had died and went to heaven. The goodness was still there. The taste exploded in my mouth just as the memories did in my head. It definitely brought me back to the day when my parents used to take us there for lunch, or the evenings we would have dinner there after a magic performance when I got a little older.

They served the wanton noodles just the way they did 20 years ago. Imagine it’s just a simple dish that fills so many stomachs for generations? They managed to keep the noodles in the same texture and chewiness as the good old days. The taste was just as traditional as how I remembered it to be.

The broth was extremely flavourful and the prawn dumplings were really fresh. The chili certainly did not disappoint either. Absolutely heavenly!

Oh! Did I mention the coffee shop was still as packed as it was back in the day??

I will have to take my hubby and kids to try this fabulous wanton mee and to make new memories… and what better way to make new memories with my family then to have my parents with us so we can bring back old memories too?

What’s The Big Deal About Chinese?

Today, my son came home from school with his portfolio and as I was browsing through the work he has done,… class reviews and teacher’s comments, I noticed that his Chinese teacher, on one of his recent Chinese worksheets had circled his name in red and had written some Chinese characters beside it. I presume that it was a direct translation of his English name.

I found that very uncalled for, offensive, rude, insensitive and callous!!

The last hour I spent going through my paper work from 2012. I came across my son’s kindergarten documents where I had asked the teacher to give him a Chinese name as I thought then it was a must since he was taking Chinese as his second language.

His kindergarten Chinese teacher did give him a Chinese name but also told me it was not necessary for it as my son isn't Chinese and so I did not register it. Since then, we have not bothered with a Chinese name.

Where am I getting with this? The point is that I searched through these records to be sure I did not make a mistake. I wanted to be sure that I did not register his Chinese name. But while doing this, I realized that what his kindergarten teacher had given him, wasn't even the one the Primary school teacher had written.

I am pissed! Actually I am more than pissed!!

WHY would a teacher ‘mark’ my son’s name in RED and correct it with something that to us doesn't even exist and should NOT exist? Do Chinese teachers go around giving names to students just for the fun of it? Do they give names just because they can’t pronounce the English ones? If so, then maybe they are the ones in need of going back to school to learn some English?

Imagine you gave birth and I’d go fill out your child’s birth certificate with a name I think would be good for your child?

I wonder how she would feel if I named her son for her? Worse is I’d give her son a name of a different race! How does Osama Bin Laden? Hmm…. Sounds nice don’t it? She may not think so….but I do….. 

In all honesty, I would have been alright if she had just written the Chinese characters beside my son’s English name but to mark it in red and make it seem like it’s wrong is unacceptable.

Sheeshh…..

The problem with this country is they stress and focus so much on the bloody Chinese language. Isn't our country a multi-racial country? Yep I figured….so why the stress on Chinese alone?

Bad enough our non Chinese/Malay/Indian kids are forced to take a second language…now they want to force a ‘foreign’ name on to our kids too??

Yes, knowing Chinese would be good especially when China is coming up in this world now. But do you realize that they are teaching English in schools in China? I moved to USA and what did I do with my Chinese certificate? I used it to wipe my bum! Ha.

Really. I didn't need that certificate when I was in America and it didn't hold me back.

What I am trying to say is…so what if you can’t speak or understand Chinese? Lots of other countries in the world have survived without it and still doing extremely well. So stop trying to force any damn language down our throats.

I can’t even exempt my non-Chinese kids from dropping the subject. WHY?

Even on the MOE website it states that kids can be exempted if they’re from overseas. Yeh, no doubt my kids started kindergarten here but Chinese is not in their blood. Hell! No one speaks the language at home!! This is approved on a case to case basis… ??? A crock of shit. I was denied twice! WHY? Because I am Chinese? Maybe I should try and apply for the exemption again since I had changed my race to Eurasian?

So they want kids miserable throughout all of their school life…. Hating to go to school because they hate Chinese … because they are struggling… and because half these Chinese teachers are not even fit to be teachers and who belittles these kids. If they think they are all high and mighty, I have no problem telling them they are not. BECAUSE technically, you will get on better in life if you speak good English!

I always thought that “mother-tongue” meant a language a person has learned from birth or within the critical period. Like in some countries (namely Singapore), the term mother-tongue refers to the language of one’s ethnic group rather than one’s first language. So for my kids, shouldn't it be English??

Oh well….

As long as we’re here in Singapore, we shall ‘abide’ by these silly rules until the time is right. After all, aren't we all just ‘robots’ programmed to be living in this perfect little country abiding by all these perfect little rules that is supposedly to make us perfect humans?

I don’t push my kids with Chinese. Every new teacher they get, I make sure I get my point across that I will not tolerate them pushing my child to excel in the language to a point of hating school because of it. For me, as long as my kids excel in the other subjects in school, I will be more than happy.

For now, I am writing to my son’s school and putting the principal and also MOE on CC (carbon copy). I should demand a written apology from this ‘high and mighty clown’. What do you think?

Bot Hunters Audition

Early this morning, my daughter and I left the house to have breakfast at the coffee shop, We then took a bus over to Aliwal Street where she was auditioning for Bot Hunters, a game show on Okto.

We registered for the audition and both Lani and her friend were interviewed. Lani as always, a natural in front of the camera.Then I was expecting parents would be able to go in to watch or sit around and wait but we were left outside waiting for over an hour for our kids to finish with their auditions.

But it was good because I got to see all kinds of people. I mainly noticed there were two different types of parents. One would be the parent like me…. Only there because our kid wanted so much to do this and wanted so much to be on television. Then you have the other kind of parent who is the total opposite… they would be making sure their kids’ attire is alright, make up on, nagging at their kids and making sure they drilled info into their kids’ heads….

It’s because of parents like that, I stayed away from competitions. If not, I think Lani would have won many contests and gone very far. She started taking part in beauty pageants since she was 18 months old. She would get into the finals but we would stop there. We would take her finalist trophy and prize and run. I've seen how these parents push their kids at the finals,… yell at them, etc. I don’t need to put my child through that. I put her in these competitions to expose her to not being shy, to teach her that winning is not everything, and for memories. She enjoyed it and as long as she did, and as long as she wanted, we would sign her up.

Some parents really have got to get their priorities straight. Do they want this for the benefit of their kids or themselves?

Back in the USA, lots of these beauty pageant mum’s push their kids ..you see these kids crying and you feel so sorry for them.

In Singapore, you have the same kind of parents and they also push their kids with tuition classes, piano, golf, ballet, etc. Sometimes these kids have a busier schedule than I do. Gosh. Let kids be kids. Let them enjoy their childhood. They won’t ever get that again. Build good memories.

I am a chillex parent. I don’t believe in all these extra activities, UNLESS of course, my kids show an interest and tell me, “hey mum, I would like to take up …..”

That was the kind of childhood I had and a childhood I fondly remember. And that is exactly the kind of childhood I would like my kids to have. No pressure. No stress. To just be able to be themselves and do their best.

So that was how this whole audition started…. Lani had seen it being advertised on TV and said she would like to try it.  I again explained to her that whether she gets in or not, winning isn't everything and that at least she had done her best.

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Many parents like myself and my hubby are concerned about competitions and its effect on children. However, there are also parents who feel that competition is nothing to worry about. Our daughter took part in her first competition when she was 18 months old. We discussed it for weeks before deciding that it wouldn't hurt and we will know when to draw the line when the time comes. Mostly, we wanted the exposure and we wanted keepsakes and memories.

I've come to agree that moderate competition is good for children, but extreme competition can devastate a child.

I've also read that temperament, culture, talent and the age of the child affects how they will handle a competition. Children are not born with a competitive urge. They learn it. And by age 10 or 11, they could handle defeat gracefully (well, most anyway). We’re proud that our daughter handled defeat gracefully by age 5. That is because we always stressed how much we’re proud of her no matter what.

Children differ in temperament. Some thrive on attention and competition and others become nervous wrecks when they are asked to perform before two or three people. I know this for a fact because that’s the personality of my two kids.

We have always treated our children as the individuals that they are. We don’t feel a need to push an already competitive child to compete although we sometimes encourage our son who is the more reluctant one but who shows so much potential.

My son, since the day he was born, he’s been a quiet, shy and smart boy. He doesn't fancy competitions and is happy with who he is and what he is. He’s also very confident. Unlike my daughter, she’s a confident girl…too confident I must say. However, she loves a good fight. She enjoys healthy competitions and being in the lime light. She just enjoys the attention!

As I mentioned, it’s different with each individual child.

Competition definitely can be good because it can help a child develop a healthy attitude about winning and losing. They become competitive as they refine and practice skills and develop coordination and cognitive abilities. Competition can also encourage growth and push a child to excel. 

Of course there are things about competition that we need to be aware of too. It can also harm a child if the child isn't motivated properly by the parents or assured that no matter what, they are still great. Competition can shatter the loser, undermine self-confidence and humiliate. It could also insult self-worth. And the biggest harm a competition can do to a child is when it is done just for the parents’ benefit!!

It’s funny how two kids can differ so much from each other. I laugh each time I look at both my kids.

My son is a typical 7-year-old. He is eager to learn and want to do activities for himself. He’s got a short attention span and play for fun. He wants to be the winner and wants to be first.  But that is natural for a child his age. Even so, we try to instill the same thing with him, … that winning isn't everything and no matter what, he will always be great and perfect in our eyes.

For children between the age of 9 years and 12 years, they try hard to be good and to please others. They do their duty, show respect for authority and follow fixed rules. They do try to maintain order. They are also more rational and logical and can see more than one side to an issue.  This scares me when I think about it actually, because my daughter showed all the above since age 5. But we always knew she was mature and developed faster than most kids her age.

How did we help our children succeed in competitive situations?

We took time to play with them. We encouraged them to flex their competitive muscles in a secure environment that helped them learn they can lose a game without losing self-confidence. We stressed about the basics of fair play, good sportsmanship, putting forth good effort and winning or losing gracefully.

For now, we will continue to encourage our children to grow. We will always make sure they are all winners and will always find special ways to reward them when necessary. We will always emphasize the importance of doing one’s best.

Before I end, I have one thing to say to the rest of the parents who push their child and pressure them into doing things they do not enjoy….

DON’T RELIVE YOUR LIFE through your child. Avoid over involvement. Always keep a healthy attitude towards competition.

My Two Precious Gems

Two days ago, I posted a photo of my kids waiting in line at the Yishun MRT Passenger Service Counter. They were there to return an ATM card they had found.

The first thing my son said when he found the ATM card was, “We have got to return this!” … and so they did. Both my gems waited patiently and proudly in line and gave it to the officer behind the counter who in return gave them a thumbs up. And the next thing that came out of my 7-year-old son’s mouth was, “It sure does feel great to do the right thing.”

… Anyway, that FB post have received more than 70 likes and 2 of the likes came from two Singapore ministers, Viviam Balakrishnan and Teo Chee Hean. I've also received very lovely compliments.

Some of the compliments were, “Excellent Parenting”, “You have done good”, “good upbringing”, etc.

It has made me feel so proud as a parent so hear these wonderful compliments. But most of all, I am so proud of both my children for who they are and for the perfect adults they will one day grow in to.

Raising decent, caring, and responsible children is the most complex and challenging job in every parent’s life and an increasingly difficult one in today’s society. I honestly don’t want to steal the credit for the little wonderful people my kids are because if you asked me, I couldn't tell you what I did right when it comes to them being so compassionate. We are not the kind of parents who would keep harping about how our kids need to be kind, blah blablah….  But it’s in our nature and I suppose our kids sees it.

I was the same way as a child. I remember I would take my own money to give it to a beggar outside of Katong Shopping Center whenever I passed him. I would save 20 cents every day from my pocket money because I knew come Friday, my grandfather would get me from school and I would spend the weekend at their house…so by Friday, I would have $1 and it would be enough to buy my grandpa a bottle of ice-cream soda which was his favourite. 

But if I recall, it is not something that was taught to me. It was something I saw happening in my family and it was from there that I naturally followed.

My kids do the same thing today. They would buy tissues from the old folks who sells them at hawker centres, they are very much involved in charity performances when the opportunity is there. Every December, we will clear out their toys and give it to the Salvation Army….

I suppose that being a parent means that you are responsible for laying the foundation of your children’s future. Without that foundation, they will have nothing to build on. We are solely responsible for the education of our child’s early years as this is when they will absorb the most information and habits.

The early years is when our children develop their personalities…how they will treat and respond to other people. So I suppose that’s where my husband and I unknowingly excelled in. Haha….  But then again, that’s the kind of people we are. We are kind and whenever we can afford, we give to charity and our kids watch us do it.

We are not perfect parents but we try. I don’t want my children to just be good as in well behaved but I want them to be well rounded, comfortable in making good decisions and confident in being an achiever in life. Because this will make all the difference as they get older. It’s the beginning years when we want to lay the ground work, for the rest of their lives. How we treat them is how they will treat us when we are 80 years old.

I hope I will have enough time to instill respect, responsibility, and accountability in them.

I love watching my children grow up right before my eyes but wish they would stay small forever. They are my heart and soul, my “best thing that ever happened to me”, the source of many laughs and a few tears.

Parenting to me is NOT all about the trips to the park, playing games and having fun…it is about teaching your children values, morals and responsibility. The greatest gift you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.

In my life, I have received lots of compliments but the best compliment ever? When someone compliments my children.

“Don’t raise your kids to have more than you had. Raise them to be more than you were.”