Miracle Child

Where has time gone? It seems like only yesterday, my now grown up daughter was just a little snot. Looking back, I am surprised she survived seeing how I was such an inexperienced mother. Also I am surprised she survived the first three months of her life with her constant crying 24-7. Better still.... I am even more surprised she still has a mother and I did not go crazy (ok... hold that thought)...

I wanted to child badly. For three years, I tried, only to be disappointed or heart broken by a miscarriage. There were 3 miscarriages that I actually knew of.

However, 15 years ago, a miracle happened.

I conceived my little girl. I took great care of myself and her. For 9 months, I stayed away from fish/seafood to avoid mercury poisoning. I stayed away from caffeine. Because of my rare blood type (A-), I was under the high risk pregnancy category. But I was determined and I knew this time, my baby was going to be alright.

Most women would see their doctor once a month when they were pregnant but for me, I had to go in every 2 weeks and get blood work done. Then during the last trimester, I had to be seen once a week. But it was all worth it.

Yet, during the full term, I stressed every day. I was scared of another heart break.

When I was 6 months pregnant, I learned I was having a baby girl. Of course I was thrilled even though it did not really matter if I had a son or a daughter, as long as they were healthy. But it was time to decide on a name for my little Princess.

One evening, I was reading out names from a Baby Name book, picking a few names from each alphabet, from A - Z. Half way through it, at some point, I told my little Princess to show me a sign if she liked a name I mentioned.

Geraldine....Jessica..... Kimberly..... No sign.

Laura....Leanne..... Still no sign....

I swear to God, I said "LeiLani" and she kicked. It was a name I actually felt my little Princess could relate to and the fact that it was actually a song that was sung by two of my favourite singers.

In case you have not heard the song, it is called "Sweet LeiLani" and I always took a liking to it when Marty Robbins sang it and even more so when I heard the home recordings of Elvis Presley.

Nevertheless, I decided to go back mentioning the names I did before 'LeiLani'.... so I said "Geraldine... Jessica... Kimberly.... Laura.... Leanne" ... and no sign (yet again)..... And I said "LeiLani" and she kicked.

So it had been decided there and then that she would be named "LeiLani" which suits her perfectly as it actually means "Heavenly Child" which she is.

February 14 2003, 15 years ago.... I was already beginning to have mild contractions although my doctor had planned to induce me on the 15th. I still managed to celebrate Valentine's Day. I watched a movie... I could not miss Dare Devil with Ben Afflect! And I also had a pretty good meal at my favourite restaurant. I had a 16oz prime rib and a double serving of mashed potatoes. Ha.

Got home and not even an hour later, I found myself at the hospital.

February 15th 2003, my little Princess entered my life and everything became simply wonderful, in the truest sense of the word.

Throughout the years, she never seized to amaze me. She was a strong little girl, a fighter. She is a carbon copy of me.

Raising an amazing daughter like her is one the greatest accomplishment of my life. Even when I think that she cannot get any more wonderful, adorable, caring and beautiful, she does.

She amazes me even when I thought I could no longer be amazed by anything.

So I hope that as she celebrates her birthday, that she will always remember that I love her and her brother so much and will do everything within my power to ensure that their journey in life is as smooth as possible. Their happiness in life is my mission for life. And I promise to ensure that I will do everything humanly possible to make them smile all the time.

Juice Feast

Detoxing the body has become an increasingly popular practice in recent years. Juice Fasting is one method of detoxing and is sometimes known as going on a juice detox or a juice diet.

I am currently on Round 3 of a fabulous Juice Feast and the results has been amazing!!

I termed it juice ‘FEAST’ rather than juice ‘FAST’ because one gets ALL the calories one would normally get in a day (i.e. 1500 for an average woman) – from at least 4 litres/1 gallon of fresh juice, daily (green vegetable juices and fruit juices). Often when people fast they take in very small amounts of liquid/calories, the metabolism slows, their energy slumps, and they may feel quite ‘dysfunctional’. Juice Feasting works differently, supporting the feaster to be very functional in daily life and meeting all calorie needs, while experiencing massive cleansing on a cellular level.

The romance of unhealthy foods is powerful, as evidenced by many who struggle daily with being overweight and obese. But it is essential to break the cycle of dependence on saturated fats, refined carbohydrates, processed foods, and excess caffeine and alcohol.

In addition to breaking the cycle of cravings of foods that undermine your health, just three days of a juice cleanse can do so much. However, me being me, I jumped right into 7-days and I have no regrets! Of course, that is no big deal as I have met others who jumped right into 21 days and 60 days!

I first learned about juicing just a little over a year ago. I didn’t think much of this until I learned that even Engelbert Humperdinck did this on many occasions and showed great results. I started to read up more about it and many swore by it and have shown tremendous results.

So 2018 rolled around and I decided to make a new year resolution. I know people would say a resolution is rubbish and most don’t stick to it. But two years ago, overweight Debra decided she was going to do something about her weight and made a resolution to eat better and to exercise. I kept to my 2016 resolution.

Well, my 2018 resolution is to get fitter and much healthier. I decided to give this juice fast a shot. I am going to start feeling better about myself in all aspects.

I found a ‘starter’ juicer that was on clearance. USD $20. Not a bad price. So I bought it. I didn’t want to jump into a very expensive juicer, just in case, juicing wasn’t something for me.

I swear, that was the best money spent!! I used it for 2 rounds before the ‘pusher’ for the juicer went missing. Must have accidentally fallen into the trash while I had it out, drying. But my supportive mother, ran right out to buy me a new, bigger and better juicer. She was so proud of what I had accomplished in the first two rounds of juicing.

And so, I am back in business.

Let me move on to talking about the first time I started, my experiences, my thoughts, etc…

When I first started on Round 1, I was nervous. I am one person who hates to fail at anything I do. So I was really afraid I would not be able to handle 7 days of purely just juice and water. The fact that I am also a coffee addict and if I don’t get my 2 cups (at least) of coffee a day, I’d be in bed, nursing a migraine, got me even more terrified. Yet, I went on with the challenge. Challenge not with anyone but myself.

I should have timed it better though, silly me started Round 1 / Day 1 on my son’s birthday! We did have a nice birthday dinner, the night before but still…. So imagine it being your first time juicing, and you’re sitting at KFC with your kids, smelling the lovely fried chicken, watching them enjoy every bite while you sipped water. It was a struggle. Then heading home to have my son cut his birthday cake and not have a slice. My kids were funny and joked about juicing the cake for me. But I survived day 1.

Round 1 / Day 2 was still a struggle. But I got through it. Then day 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 came and went by so quickly!

I surprised myself. I did it!! After the third day, I did not even have any cravings. Not even for coffee. And I sure did not get any migraines from the lack of coffee or no coffee! The best part about it? I saw amazing results. I lost a total of 5kg (11 pounds).

The week after, I decided to take a break from juicing. So I can enjoy some good food especially since my granny was cooking. I was even more surprised with how disciplined I was. I did not crave food. I did not crave coffee. Everything was in moderation. I ate more healthily and stayed away from carbs without even missing it.

I was already beginning to feel a change in me… a good change.

Right after that rest week, I jumped right back into another 7-day juice fast. I don’t really follow any recipes; I just make them up as I go along. Right after Round 2, I decided I would jump straight into Round 3 for another 7-days as the week after, it would be my daughter’s birthday and Chinese New Year. However, I changed Round 3 a little. I had to do 2 juices and 1 meal a day as I was on antibiotics.

Back to Round 2. I didn’t get as big a results as when I did Round 1. I only lost 2kg (4.4 pounds) but was told the reason why I lost so much the first time was because that was all the water/liquid. But it is alright. I wasn’t disappointed or anything. In fact, I was more determined.

I am on Day 5 of Round 3 as I write this. I have never felt better in my entire life. I feel so much healthier and so accomplished. I definitely feel a lot better about myself. My skin has improved. It is a lot smoother and I am glowing! I look better in the outfits I put on. Overall, I simply feel awesome.

This could be my norm from now on. My goal is to lose another 5kg (11 pounds) at least.

The bigger accomplishment was starting a FB group on Juice Fasting. We’re almost hitting 900 members and every day, I still receive at least 3 requests to join our group. In the group, we share recipes, experiences, goals, etc. And even bigger than that accomplishment, I have managed to inspire lots of friends and many are now starting to juice as well.

With all of the benefits, how could you NOT do a juice feast?! I know what you’re thinking, ‘I could NEVER do that!’ Let me tell you, I love food, and coffee…and some alcohol! If I can do it, YOU CAN DO IT. Seriously, take my word on this!!

The starting reaction of most people who saw me do this wasn't very positive - at first most were shocked, worried and some plain appalled at the fact that I was "starving" myself - even my parents were a bit worried at first.

And then as the days and weeks passed, many opinions and comments changed - all of a sudden "I was glowing" and my "skin was perfect" …. I had to chuckle and resist the "I told you so".

I myself was amazed at the changes in my body.

I am not kidding when I say the changes were huge….

-          Perfect skin, I'm talking FLAWLESS

-          A glow

-          Release of a lot of extra weight

-          Sky high levels of steady energy and endurance

-          Clarity of mind (it's crazy what chemicals in the food will do to your brain)

-          Deep and restful sleep

-          A solid feeling of health and wellness

I was also running every other day, between 5km to 6km (3.1 miles to 3.7 miles).

I know these may seem too good to be true, but I promise you, I wouldn't lie to you! Ask my family and my close friends and they will testify to this.

Yes, at the start, I was excited to start and at the same time pretty nervous about it as it is not an easy process - most worthwhile things never are!

So back to the technical stuff on juicing. Things I have learned and read up about since I started this.

Experts recommend you eat at least 6 to 8 servings of vegetables per day, which many people (myself included) have difficulty achieving. That’s where juicing can help fill the void.

So what is involved in a juice fast?

Juice fasting involves consuming only fresh fruit and vegetable juices and water for a set period of time. The duration of the juice fast can vary from just one day to around 28 days although it is widely agreed that juice fasting novices start with a couple of one day fasts and when they are comfortable with this build up to a 3 day fast.

There are SO many reasons why juicing is so beneficial and here are just a few I have come up with and read about:

-          Juice requires hardly any digestion, so all its nutritional goodness gets rapidly into your system while simultaneously giving your digestive system a rest. Your body can then use that saved energy to clean out old matter, especially from the small intestine.

-          When you juice, you use way more fruits and vegetables than you could actually eat at one time. As a result, you are drinking a HUGE quantity of vitamins, minerals and other plant-based nutrients that would be impossible to get otherwise.

-          You give your WHOLE BODY a chance to “clean house”. Without the added burden of digestion, which takes a LOT of time and energy, the body is now free to work on other things like detoxing the liver and kidneys…and the remains of all those Ramen Noodles you used to eat!

-          Improved focus and mental clarity

-          Anti-Aging

-          Improved bone & joint function

-          Stronger Immune System 

-          Better digestion

-          Better overall mood

-          Healthier hair, skin and nails

-          Natural body weight

-          ENERGY!!!

So, to wrap this blog post up, once again, I wanted to tell all of you that three years ago, I weighed about 80kg (176 pounds) and after 2 years of cutting back on eating as much and I got started on exercising, I went down to 72kg (158 pounds).

But after the first 7 day juice fast, I went right down to 65kg (143 pounds).

All in all, it took a lot of effort and determination and I am still determined to lose more. My goal is to hit between 58kg (127 pounds) to 60kg (132 pounds).

I still love my food but I have cut back on it and have the unhealthy chicken wings or burgers once a week (or not at all) instead of every other day. I don't crave coffee anymore although a cup once in a blue moon is nice. No craving for chocolates. Alcohol is only socially but it's always been socially.

I have been eating healthier. White meats and veggies. No fatty food and I have cut off carbs. I snack on fruits when my mouth starts to feel itchy but believe it or not, it doesn’t even get to that point.

I also add in the occasional runs/jogs about twice or 3 times a week.

I have never felt my best in years. Lighter, healthier and more confident.

My advice to those trying to lose weight is to decide what you really want then work at it and stick to it. Nothing will come over night and it will take a lot of willpower but keep telling yourself you can do it and in time, you will see the results and feel accomplished and that alone would help you work harder towards your goal.

SUCCESS isn't just about what you accomplish in your life.

It's about what you INSPIRE others to do.

New Year: Selfish Year

For many young people, particularly people under the age of thirty, there’s quite often more value in investing in you than there is in investing in stocks. A well-conceived investment in your future can continue to pay dividends over the rest of your life. Some investments in yourself can even be worthwhile near the end of your career.

In my own life, I’ve found that some of the most valuable things I’ve ever done were investments in me. I invested the cost and time to get a college education. I’ve even invested a lot of time – an amount that some of my friends have believed was excessive – carefully figuring out who I was, what my true talents are, and what I should be doing with my time. I did all of these things pretty early in life, before I was thirty, and they were all worth the time and financial costs associated with each of them.

Anyway, for 2018, it is going to be a selfish year. I have been investing my time in many people who just did not deserve it and are users. I will continue to keep an open mind and an open heart and will still be there for friends and loved ones but I will be a lot smarter too. Mostly, my time will be invested on me. It is time to start improving myself. I want to become a better person physically and mentally.

Investing in you can yield returns far greater than any other investment.

We spend a lot of time worrying about investing and are quick to gauge how things are going by looking at quarterly statements. It’s all dollar signs — bank accounts, the value of your home — these are the things we invest in and can easily determine whether or not it’s a good investment. These are all important investments, without a doubt, but are these things what really matter?

You often hear about how your home or your career is your greatest assets, but I think that’s a little shortsighted. If you take a look at your net worth or your personal balance sheet, yes, you can argue that your home is one of your greatest financial assets. And if you have a steady job and a rewarding career it’s easy to see how important that asset is since it will provide income for years and possibly decades to come. But in the end, these assets pale in comparison to your true greatest asset: yourself.

You are an asset. Think about that for a minute. If you work for someone else, you are an asset to that company. If you’re married, you are an asset to your spouse. And it goes without saying, but if you have children you are an incredible asset to them. You’re an asset to the community you live in, to your neighbors, and to those you interact with on a daily basis.

Take a moment and look at yourself in the mirror. No. Not a mirror in a physical sense, but look at yourself from the outside. How do you look to others? How valuable are you to those around you? Do you stand out as an important asset, or do you slip by as just a run-of-the-mill person? These are difficult questions to answer, and the answers may not always be obvious.

Becoming a valuable asset is important on both the professional and personal level. When most people talk about being an asset, it has to do with getting ahead in the workplace. This is certainly important if you’re trying to keep your job, advance your career, or enter a new line of work, but it’s equally important on a personal level. These two aspects of your life are more interconnected than you may imagine. Investing in your professional life will impact aspects of your personal life, and investing in yourself on a personal level will undoubtedly help your professional life.

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However, before you can make improvements in other areas of your life you must first take care of some of your most basic needs. We need to step back for a moment and forget about money. Money is important, but without your health, it’s worthless. Understandably, you’re probably groaning at the idea of what it will take to improve your health. You’re thinking about diets, lots of exercise, and cutting out all the fun stuff in your life. I agree, none of that sounds like much fun. But we’re not talking about making drastic changes overnight. Habits that have developed over the course of years can be hard to break, so it’s best to make small changes over time that will lead to healthier habits.

GET MORE SLEEP

We live in a 24 hour world and it is taking its toll on sleep. Between the internet, TV, Androids and iPhones, the day doesn’t end when you come home from work. These days we’re constantly being interrupted and our work lives are bleeding into our personal lives. This added stress and lack of down time can really cut into your sleep. While it isn’t uncommon for people to get by on just six hours or so of sleep, studies have shown most of us still need more.

I know, I know. There are only 24 hours in a day and you already can’t get everything done, so how on Earth can you be expected to get more sleep? If you like to hit the snooze 5 times every morning, find you can’t concentrate until you’ve had your first three cups of coffee in the morning, or could pass out at your desk after lunch, then you’re not getting enough sleep. Think about all of the time you waste when you aren’t completely focused or working inefficiently because you’re fighting the urge to sleep. Instead, use that extra hour you’re wasting throughout the day by being tired and get some extra sleep. You’ll wake up feeling better, your body will be rested, and you can make better use of your waking hours, not to mention improve your overall health.

EAT BETTER

This doesn’t mean you should go on a drastic diet and try to cut 20 pounds in a month, but just a few little changes in your diet can go a long way. Start with breakfast. It really is the most important meal of the day. Breakfast will jump-start your metabolism and prepare your body for a full day of work. I always had difficulty finding time in the morning to squeeze in breakfast, but I’ve found that just grabbing a banana or something before heading out the door helps a lot.

Next, just be a little more conscious of what you’re eating and make an effort to make small changes here and there. If you drink a few sodas each day, start by replacing one with something else to drink. Ideally water, but even juice or something would be a good start if it’s the caffeine that you really crave. Over time you’ll find that you crave soda less and in the process you will be cutting out a lot of calories from your diet. If you’re looking to cut back come dinner time, consider cutting back on some of the pasta or rice and throw in an occasional salad. Again, even if you do this just a couple times a week you will begin to create healthy habits that will lead to a healthier you over time.

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YOUR PERSONAL SELF

What’s important to you? That’s what we’re going to try and answer right now. Take a moment to think about what you really enjoy and what matters most to you. Spending time with friends? Family? Being outdoors? Helping others? Just reading a good book? Now that you have an answer, how often do you get to do these things? If you’re like most people, the answer is probably, “not often enough.” Life is too short to be stuck running around constantly trying to meet deadlines, make more money, and constantly put things off until the future. You need to make time for the things you love.

Whatever it is that you wish you could be doing, find a way to make it happen. This is easier said than done, I know. But it can be done. Now, we aren’t going to be working any miracles here and have you living on a tropical island (although I do live on one) when you have responsibilities here at home, but let’s start with gradual changes. Find days to incorporate what you love to do into your regular schedule. The bottom line is that you just have to make time. Don’t make excuses. If you can make time to run to the dry cleaners every week, you can certainly set aside a half hour each week to do something you really enjoy. Whether it’s just sitting down with a glass of wine and a good book, a stroll with your kids through the park, or volunteering your time for a good cause. You just have to force yourself to set aside some time and do it.

It’s all about balance. Our lives are filled with responsibilities, deadlines, and work to get done, but these things can’t control us. You need to invest in creating some personal time. Even if it is just 30 minutes a day, the more you can introduce the things you love into your life, the happier you’ll be. Your happiness will begin to spill over into the other areas of your life. You’ll perform better at work, have better relationships with your friends and neighbours, and overall become a greater asset to everyone you interact with. All the time you put in at work and money you save doesn’t mean a whole lot if you aren’t investing in what makes you happy.

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PROFESSIONAL SELF

A healthier and happier you can go a long way, but if you really want to invest in something that can pay huge dividends, consider investing in your professional self. It doesn’t matter if you’re making minimum wage doing factory work or a veteran executive with a corner office — investing in yourself will shape your future. When most people talk about investing in your professional self, the advice has to do with getting additional education, certifications, or experience so that you can advance your career. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that advice, but I want to touch on a few different areas I have learned through the years.

NETWORKING

It’s not who you know, but what you know, right? If only it was that simple. Obviously, it can help to have a solid education and a lot of experience, but it is hardly the only path to success. Just as important as having the knowledge and skills to do a particular job, you need to have connections. These connections will open up opportunities that can be used to leverage your skills and find a path of least resistance to reach your goal.

When it comes to networking you should strike a balance between quantity and quality. With the advent of the internet, the ability to build a massive network is incredibly simple. Just hop on Facebook, Twitter, or any of the number of social networking type sites and you can almost instantly build a network of hundreds or even thousands of people. While numbers are good, connecting with 1,000 people you never get to know and just connecting for the sake of building a connection will probably be less effective than a network of 20 people who are in your line of work and that you interact with on a regular basis.

One of the best ways to network professionally is through LinkedIn. Unlike many of the other social networks that are filled with updates from people about what they had for lunch, their favorite music, or who they are currently dating, LinkedIn is more about business. Here you’ll be able to connect with coworkers past and present and join groups based on your interests or background. These professional connections can lead to a number of interactions you may not have otherwise had access to that can help launch your career in a new direction.

While LinkedIn is great for professional networking, that doesn’t mean you should dismiss the likes of Twitter or Facebook, either. With these sites, you really get out of it what you put into it. If you focus your efforts on networking with other likeminded-individuals and actually foster your relationships, you can open many new doors. At the same time, if you just sign up for the sake of signing up and expect great things by befriending as many people as possible, you’ll probably be disappointed.

Finally, don’t forget about local networking. Seek out networking opportunities right in your own backyard.

BUILD YOUR PERSONAL BRAND

When you think of Coca-Cola, Nike, or Microsoft, I bet you instantly know who these companies are and what they produce. You’ve also probably formed opinions of each of these companies or their products based on how they present themselves and your past experiences with their products. This is a brand.

What if I told you that you were your own brand? It might sound a bit silly to think of just a regular person as a brand, but it’s true. The way you represent yourself and how others see you is your own personal brand. Whether you like it or not, your actions and words speak volumes about who you are. This reputation can follow you for the rest of your life, so it’s obviously important to build a positive brand as opposed to a negative one.

So, what does your personal brand say about you? When someone types your name into Google, what do they see? Do others see you as you’d like to be seen? And when you meet someone for the first time, are you leaving a good impression and clearly displaying what you stand for? In today’s fast-paced world you may only have a few seconds to make an impression. Depending on how you’ve developed your brand, you may have left an unforgettable mark, or simply fade into the homogeneous background with everyone else.

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So always remember to invest in yourself for immeasurable returns.

It’s easy to get caught up with money. It drives everything we do from paying for food and shelter, to being stashed away for 30 years so we have something to spend in retirement. But as important as

Money is, it’s just as important to take a look at the bigger picture. Yes, your financial investments are important, your home is important, and being able to afford a comfortable lifestyle means a lot. But none of this matters if you’re unhealthy, unhappy, and have few prospects.

This is especially true in difficult financial times. When the news is filled with gloom and doom, your investment accounts drop like a rock, and you can’t sell your house, it’s easy to get caught up in the feeling that things are just helpless and it’s all out of your control. Well, it’s true that you can’t control the economy or magically make your retirement account go back up, but there is one investment you can make that will pay off. When you invest in yourself you might not be able to immediately put a dollar amount on the gains, but over time you will have realized returns far greater than those money can buy.

Your Time in 2018

The month of December rapidly escaped into the hands of Father Time, as though each moment had more important things to do. I’m a person who lives wholeheartedly in the present but to no avail, the sands of the hourglass are cascading in full furies.

Time bears all, time heals all and time tells all. In life and in all things, all you have to do is give it time. All in good time, all on its own time and just in the nick of time. Those are clichés, you might say. But all good clichés reveal what we believe to be mostly true.

What else is time? What value does 24 hours have to you? Better yet, how do you value your time? What are you planning with your time in 2018?

Time is like money (time is not money, let us not insult time) in that time is a resource. But unlike money, we don’t earn time. Time is allotted to us in a series of seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, years, decades and so on. Time for all purposes is free. However, we can’t “make” more time, we can’t win time or borrow time; once our time is spent, once that second has passed, it’s gone forever.

Most people wouldn’t dream of wasting money, but what about wasting time? What’s a waste of time? Have you been wasting your time?

Time impacts our mind, body and soul. Each second, that can never again be regained, is part of the bigger time slots in which we develop, grow and mature. How we decide to spend our time dictates what will become of our mind, body and soul.

Time is directly connected to who you are and will be. The journey of our lives is a story of what we do with our time. How we use and make due of our time maps out how our time will be used in the future. What you do or don’t do today, matters tomorrow.

You can’t escape time and time will end. Time is precious and in the final hours it is said that the requests are not for more money, more cars, and more houses but rather for more time.

What are you planning with your time in 2018? What matters to you? What do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish? Who do you want to spend your time with? Where is your time going?

Take the time to think about this today, because all you have today is today.

The Real Reason to Keep Your Enemies Closer than Your Friends

Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

It took me years to understand the depth of this trite-as-ever quote. 

Most of the time, we’re incapable of comprehending certain philosophies until we’ve endured them first hand. Sure, it makes sense to keep your enemies close, so you can keep tabs on them and seek revenge by pouring ice buckets over their heads when they least expect it.

But, I learned this isn’t what the famous quote intended to preach at all. 

After going through life and encountering many enemies, I came to learn the quote means something a little more Buddhist and a little less vengeful.

I encountered my first enemies when I was in Secondary school. I was hated by many because I always got what I wanted…. Branded items…. The boys…..

A few years later, I made more enemies when I started dating big names and made more when I started doing well career wise.

Even till this present day, I am making enemies almost like I am a pro at it! Today, the enemies are mostly from the social media frenzy. People who think I am getting more attention than them from well-known people online.  

Look! I am a nice person. Well…. I can be nice and I can be a real bitch but I am mostly nice unless you really step on my toes then you will regret it.

All these enemies …. They are the ones who decided they would disconnect themselves from me because of jealousy and chose to do that and talk behind my back instead. If they only could be adults and just be nice, they would get the same attention. But they decide to play the back stabbing game….so be it.

Luckily for me, I’d been through enough of this bullshit, and at this point, I knew better than to cry about it or let it bother me. I laugh at how childish these women are and how desperate they are to get the attention they think I am receiving. Instead of internalizing public hatred and making myself miserable, I brushed it off like a pro.

I forgave them because I didn’t realize until later that karma truly is reliable. 

So forgive, but don't forget. Forgive your enemies because they are either insecure, giving in to societal pressures or going through something that makes them feel good about making you feel bad.

You will never cease to make enemies, no matter how old you get, but if you learn how to deal with them — to forgive them — rather than to let them chip away at you, you’ll be ahead of the game.

Confident people don’t seek to bring others down because they’re too busy working on their own empires. Knowledge plus confidence, whether gained through books or “street smarts,” equals open-mindedness. 

Open-minded people tolerate whatever situation you’re going through and whoever you are, regardless of what “being you” entails.

If you surround yourself with enough knowledgeable people, the once-in-a-while bully won’t even be a glitch on your radar. 

Don't forget, though, we learn the most we know from our worst experiences; your enemies will teach you who to trust and who not to trust. They’ll force you to build character. They might even inspire you to help others through your experiences.

If nothing else, they make for great stories.

And, despite the fact that each enemy had his or her own agenda and channeled his or own hate in different ways, they all did something great for me: They shaped who I am today.

So really….. What does it really mean to keep your enemies close?

We strive to keep friends close in order to enrich our lives. We're also inclined to appraise our interpersonal bonds with consideration for the degree of "closeness" we share with one another. For these reasons, most would instinctively assume that a friend ought to be kept closer than an enemy, and this notion is only strengthened by our natural inclination to move away from unpleasantness towards the pleasant.

This particular idiom is intended to make you think, and it achieves this by creating discord with your expectations and beliefs. At first, the thought of keeping an enemy closer than a friend—or close at all for that matter—sounds preposterous, and this compels you to ponder the idea.

Now, why would you keep an enemy closer than a friend? The closer an enemy is to you, the more intimately you will come to know their capabilities, strengths, weaknesses, tendencies etc. You can use this knowledge to your advantage. A close enemy is also one you're privy to the whereabouts of, so you're much less likely to be caught off-guard.

At another level, an enemy has much—if not more—to teach you about yourself. 

Superficially, your own capabilities, strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies will emerge more prominently in the presence of an enemy, and this serves as an opportunity to learn and grow.

Even deeper, you can learn from the very animosity and opposition which exists between you and your enemy. We can choose to reflect upon why we are enemies with the person in the first place—does it all boil down to a misunderstanding? Am I prejudiced? Not only can we benefit by having our beliefs and capabilities challenged by opposition, but as we develop our understanding of an enemy, we may experience a shift in our regard for them. We may begin to view an enemy with less antagonism, and perhaps in times even come to know them as a friend.

 “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” means to keep them close, as silent reminders, so you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Today, I am strong.”

** “I DON’T DISLIKE MY HATERS, THEY DISLIKE ME. I’M DOING NOTHING WRONG, I’M JUST BEING ME.” **

"I Love You"

Sometimes you just need someone to tell you they love you...

It also depends......does that person mean it when they do tell you they love you or are they just saying it out of habit? There's a big difference.

No doubt it does hurt more when they just spit those three words out and not even mean it or do anything to prove it.

"Don't say you love me if you don't mean it because I might do something stupid like believe it."

We should stop trusting words and instead start trusting actions.

We should also understand that when someone loves you, they don't have to say it because you should already be able to tell by the way they treat you.

You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously. So if you say it, mean it!

It is the same thing with the word "sorry".

You can say "sorry" and "I love you" as much as you want but if you can't prove it, your words don't mean a thing.

People say hate is strong word, but so is love and people are throwing that around like it's nothing.

Never say "I love you" if you really don’t care.

Never talk about feelings if they aren't really there.

Never hold someone's hand if you're going break their heart.

Never say you're going to if you don't plan to start.

Never look into someone's eyes if all you do is lie.

Never say "hi" if you really mean "goodbye".

Never take someone's feelings for granted because you never know how much courage it took for them to express them...

For me, I don’t let people in often and I mean what I say.

If I tell you that you're my friend that means a lot.

If I tell you I love you, I know that it isn’t just a phrase or expression and you need to know that I actually love you in the best and most honest way that I can.

You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.

I don’t say I love you out of habit or just for conversation. When I say it, I really mean it. Why can’t everyone do the same? Why are there always someone who would mess with someone else’s feelings?

Love ends when you stop caring.

Forgive the heart that hurts you and don't hurt the heart that loves you.. And don’t ever cry over anyone who won’t cry over you.

Don’t be selfish. If you do not love the way her hair curls at the ends or her nose wrinkles when she laughs then let her go. If you don’t see her as a masterpiece then let her go, because someone else will.

Don’t be selfish. If you don’t love the way she sneezes or the way she dribbles the toothpaste down her chin when she brushes her teeth then let her go. If your heart doesn’t almost beat out of your chest when you wake up and the first thing you see is her soundly sleeping on your shoulder, someone else would kill for that.

Being with someone when you know you don’t love them is cruel. It's not only cruel, it's holding them back from someone that could give them everything. Someone that feels waves breaking in their rib cage when they see her walk around the corner. Someone that has had the worst of days, but rainbows suddenly appear at the thought of her. Someone who hears the sound of her voice and it soothes the darkest of nightmares. If that is not you, let her go. She is wonder, she is magic, she deserves someone who believes that every single day, not just on certain days. 

I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we choose.

SO…

Don’t say it unless you mean it and if you mean it, you better be ready to prove it.

Don’t say she is perfect if she is not good enough for you.

Don’t say you’re aching if you haven’t felt anywhere near as she does.

Don’t say you’re sorry if you don’t know what you’ve done wrong.

Don’t say you want her to be happy if she can’t be happy with you.

For the ladies, letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.

One simply do not go around destroying the people you say you love. 

Thank you Engelbert … BUT ….

"I, thank you, Engelbert Humperdinck, BUT the people I have to thank most would be your lovely wife Patricia and your children."

People always ask why at my age (a whole 37 years young) I am such a huge fan of Engelbert Humperdinck? What draws you to his kind of music?

I grew up on Elvis, Cliff Richard, BREAD, and Engelbert Humperdinck. That’s all I ever heard playing around my house while I was growing up. But I took a special liking and interest to Engelbert because of the fond memories that were created with his music.

I first took a liking to Engelbert at the age of 10. I didn’t have a bad childhood but I would not say I had the greatest either. It had its ups and downs although I say more downs… and I thoroughly enjoyed the days I spent with my maternal grandparents. They were a typical Eurasian family where music played an important part of our lives.

I remember my grandfather and I would listen to Engelbert on cassettes! YES cassettes. He introduced me to The Last Waltz and Release Me. We would sing these songs by heart together. We were never in tune but we had fun and more importantly, we made fond memories. I remember we used to play the song and pause it, write the lyrics down, continue playing it…pause it….write the lyrics…and if we didn’t get it, we would hit the rewind button.

My grandfather and I did this while my grandmother cooked and cleaned and sang to his songs. It was the happiest times of my growing up years.

When CDs were IN, they had the lyrics on the CD booklets and my grandfather and I thought it was the bomb!! I was about 12 then. We would now listen to Enge’s CDs and read these lyrics and sing along to the songs together. We laughed so much sometimes that it made us cry. I remember my grandfather’s grin clearly. In fact, he has the same smile as Engelbert!

As my grandpa got older and I spent lesser time with them as I was a rebellious teenager by then and was mostly out enjoying with friends… my grandpa’s eyesight were not as good as it was a few years ago. But I still loved him dearly and by then, I was introduced to computers. I remember, I typed every single Engelbert song (lyrics) out in a bigger and bolder font for him. I passed it to him and the sight of him being so thrilled will always be something that I will remember clearly.

Our favourite song from Engelbert by then was “Love Me With All Your Heart”.

Even during those years, I have not seen a single LIVE performance by Enge. I only knew what he looked like but never saw any videos! There was no such thing as YouTube back then.

My teenage years were rough. I was always so unhappy and depressed. I was on a downhill. Suicide played on my mind. What saved me? Believe it or not, music did! Mostly Engelbert songs. I would recall the happy times with my grandfather.

When I got married and moved from Singapore to America, my grandpa put a bow on an Engelbert CD that had “Love Me With All Your Heart” on it. The first few years living in a foreign country with total strangers around me, I cried every day. I was homesick but again what made me smile again was Engelbert’s music. By then, I found DVDs and YouTube videos and watched Engelbert LIVE for the first time and I was even more hooked than I was. I read up more about him and learned about him. I am one to always have a good first instinct and just by watching his LIVE performances, I felt that this man had no airs. A few years later, I would find out that my instincts would be correct.

In 2002, my beloved grandfather passed away. He passed away on the date Engelbert was born; May 2. Coincidence? Probably. But to me, I felt there was a meaning to it. I still don’t know what it is though…

I was devastated. He was the pillar in my life. He was the one male figure I trusted with my life and was the one I knew who truly loved me. And now he is gone….

During his final send off, we sang “Love Me With All Your Heart” in Church. I am sure he would have been smiling down at us.

As my life was again slowly falling apart, Engelbert saved me. His music kept me going. It kept good memories alive and little did I know, Engelbert would now create new memories for me.

To honour my grandfather and the memories I have of him, and of Engelbert who helped create those memories with my grandfather, I had a tattoo done with my favourite part of my grandfather’s and my favouite Engelbert song; Love Me With All Your Heart.  

In 2003, I was finally making good money in USA and when I heard Engelbert would be performing in Connecticut USA (an hour away from where I lived), I bought my mum an air ticket to come visit from Singapore so we could attend the concert together. It would be the first time I am seeing this great man LIVE. And it would be the first time I would get to meet Engelbert and build new memories.

So you ask why I love Engelbert? Because Engelbert have saved me many times and he still continues to do so. When I am down or depressed, I turn on his songs and I am all smiles again.

It will be hard for anyone really to understand but it doesn’t matter. As long as I know. That is all that matters.

The fact that through it all, I have also made new friends through the same interest; Engelbert Humperdinck.

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I, thank you, Engelbert Humperdinck, for playing such an important part of my early life up till now. BUT the people I have to thank most would be your lovely wife Patricia and your children. Without the love of Patricia and her constant faith in you, you wouldn’t be here doing what you do best. She never lost faith that you would be a star even in the tough times.

Patricia is definitely a woman of strength. I could never do what she had done and continue to do up till now. I would not have been able to ‘share’ my husband with the millions of women around the world who adored him.

Then I have to thank your children. I am certain they had their fair share of sacrifices they had to make while sharing their beloved father with the world. The many times you had to miss possibly milestones in their lives. I am also certain even up till now, they still face difficulties of being the children of Engelbert Humperdinck.

So truly, I not only THANK YOU. I thank your wife and children for sharing you with me and the rest of the world.

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