This week’s readings really made me think about what it actually means to “love your neighbour.”
We hear those words so often that sometimes they can almost lose their meaning. Of course we should love our neighbour. Of course we should be kind. But then real life happens, and suddenly loving our neighbour isn't quite so easy!
It is easy to love people when they are nice to us, agree with us and treat us well. The real challenge is loving someone when they have upset us, disappointed us or simply made us angry.
And I think that is where this Gospel really speaks to me.
Jesus tells us not to talk about someone behind their back or allow resentment to grow. Instead, we are called to go directly to the person and speak to them.
Ouch.
Because if I'm being completely honest, that is not always the easiest thing to do. Sometimes it feels much easier to talk to someone else about what happened rather than actually having the uncomfortable conversation with the person involved!
But Jesus is reminding us that love isn't about avoiding difficult conversations. Sometimes love means having them.
And I think there is an important difference between speaking the truth with love and simply saying whatever we think because we want to get something off our chest.
The purpose isn't to win.
It isn't to prove that we're right.
It isn't to make the other person feel bad.
It is to try to restore the relationship.
That really challenged me.
I've learned over the years that holding onto anger and resentment doesn't really hurt the other person as much as it hurts us. We replay conversations, think about what we should have said, become annoyed all over again and carry something around that God never intended us to carry forever.
Forgiveness doesn't mean pretending that someone didn't hurt us. It doesn't mean accepting bad behaviour either.
Sometimes loving our neighbour means setting boundaries.
Sometimes it means saying, “That wasn't okay.”
Sometimes it means walking away.
And sometimes it means finding the courage to have that difficult conversation and trying to make peace.
I also love that St Paul describes love as a debt we never stop paying.
There is something quite humbling about that.
We don't get to say, “I've been kind enough this week. I'm done!”
Love is something we keep choosing.
Patience.
Forgiveness.
Compassion.
Honesty.
Kindness.
Even when we don't feel like it.
And perhaps that is the real challenge for me this week. To remember that loving my neighbour isn't just about loving the people I like. It is about how I treat the difficult people too.
Because let's be honest, we all have them!
Maybe the person who annoys us is actually an opportunity to practice patience.
Maybe the person who hurt us is an opportunity to practice forgiveness.
Maybe the person we disagree with is an opportunity to practice respect.
And maybe the person we would rather avoid is the person who needs a little kindness from us.
I don't think I'll get this right every time. I'm human, after all!
But I can try.
I can choose not to gossip.
I can choose to speak directly rather than behind someone's back.
I can choose forgiveness over resentment.
And I can remind myself that being a Christian isn't just about loving the people who love me.
It is about choosing love, even when it is difficult.
And perhaps that is the kind of love Jesus is asking me to practice this week.
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Reflection: Do my words and actions seek the good of others?
I think, for the most part, I do try to make sure my words and actions are for the good of others. But if I’m being completely honest, I don't always get it right.
I think, for the most part, I do try to make sure my words and actions seek the good of others. But if I'm being completely honest, I don't always get it right.
Sometimes I speak before I think. Sometimes I'm frustrated and my words may come out sharper than I intended. And there are definitely moments when I have to remind myself that just because something is true doesn't mean it needs to be said in the way I'm thinking of saying it!
I think this is something I'm becoming more conscious of as I grow in my faith.
Seeking the good of others doesn't mean always agreeing with them or keeping quiet when something needs to be said. Sometimes the kindest thing is actually to be honest. But there is a difference between being honest because we genuinely want the best for someone and saying something simply because we're angry or want to get the last word.
I also think our actions say a lot more than our words.
Am I there when someone needs me?
Do I check in on people?
Do I make people feel welcome?
Do I listen when someone needs to talk, rather than immediately trying to fix everything?
Do I give people the benefit of the doubt?
These are the little things I think about.
My faith has made me more aware that every person I meet is someone loved by God, even the people who occasionally test my patience! And that makes me think twice about how I treat them.
I certainly have my moments. I'm human, and I can be impatient, emotional and occasionally quite opinionated! But I don't want my words or actions to hurt someone unnecessarily.
I want to be someone who leaves people feeling a little better, not worse, after an interaction with me.
And I think that's something worth working on every day.
For me, seeking the good of others isn't about being perfect. It's about being more intentional.
Before I speak, perhaps I need to ask myself:
Is this true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? And am I saying it because I genuinely want the best for this person?
I won't always pass that test.
But I can keep trying.
And perhaps that is part of what living my faith looks like in everyday life.
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