In the bustling heart of a little island called
Singapore, lived two souls from vastly different worlds. I was a spirited young
lady then, who just finished school and was finding my way into the real world
while amidst the towering skyscrapers, there was Matt Moore—a name synonymous
with wealth, power, and privilege. He was a multi-millionaire, a business
magnate who had built an empire from scratch. Yet, beneath his polished
exterior, Matt was a soul who longed for simplicity and authenticity.
Our paths converged in a serendipitous encounter. On a
regular morning, as I prepared for the day ahead, I fired up my newly purchased
laptop and decided to find out what this mIRC chat was all about. It just
happened that, Matt was just as curious and we were both on at the same time.
This became a habit for us and we would get online at the
same time every day just to see if the other was online.
I was drawn to this enigmatic person and he was drawn to
me, too.
Through the weeks, our conversation flowed effortlessly,
like the notes of a melodious symphony. In those stolen moments, we felt an
unexplainable connection—a magnetic pull.
We met, we became friends, we dated, we broke up, and we
remained the best of friends, he and his dad were my chosen family, he was my
soulmate.
I knew he had my back no matter what. I knew he truly
loved and cared for me. He did not have to save I LOVE YOU. He never really
did. But I knew. I knew because it showed in his actions.
As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, months
into years, Matt's and my connection deepened. We found solace in each other's
presence, a refuge from the relentless pace of our respective worlds. Our love
did not take long before it bloomed.
However, societal expectations loomed like storm clouds
on the horizon. Matt's world was one of the galas and glittering soirées, while
my life revolved around a strict father and me still trying to find my way into
the world. The chasm that separated our backgrounds seemed insurmountable, yet
our hearts refused to acknowledge the divide.
Then one very day, against the backdrop of a quiet
morning, we decided to stop 'secretly' meeting each other due to circumstances,
as he moved back home (to his birth country) and I went on with the life I had
chosen. That was the best thing for both of us, given the circumstances
mentioned.
I remember so clearly, Matt looking into my eyes with a
mixture of longing and resignation as he whispered, his voice tinged with
sorrow, "Our love is a forbidden one—a beautiful secret that the many may
never understand. But it's a secret that I am not willing to allow for it to
hurt you but I will forever have you in my heart and I will always be here,
behind the scenes, if you ever need me, for as long as I live."
Tears glistened in my eyes as I held his gaze, my heart
aching with the weight of our unspoken truth. I knew the world we lived in
could never accept the kind of love we had for each other, the bond between us
that kept on growing stronger with each passing day.
But fate had a cruel twist in store for us.
No contact for about 3 years when tragedy struck in a
moment that forever altered the course of my life.
On a rainy afternoon, in Dubai, when the skies wept in mournful harmony, a screeching sound pierced the air—the sound of metal colliding with metal. A tragic car accident took Matt away from this world, leaving behind shattered dreams and a heartbroken me.
The news of his passing struck me like a thunderbolt,
leaving my world shattered and my heart is broken. The beach that once radiated
warmth, felt cold and empty, mirroring the void that had engulfed my soul. The
dreams we had woven together were now fragments of a bittersweet memory, a
symphony cut short before its crescendo.
Grief enveloped me like a suffocating fog, and I found
myself haunted by the specter of Matt's absence. Each corner of the beach held
the echoes of our love—memories etched in every nook and cranny.
My days turned into nights filled with memories of stolen
moments and whispered promises, and my heart grieved for a love that could
never be replaced.
As I navigated the desolate landscape of my heart, I discovered an old email that Matt had left behind—a final testament to the love we shared. His words, penned with aching sincerity, echoed through my thoughts like a balm for my wounded soul.
In the email, Matt implored me to remember our love as a
tapestry woven from the threads of our souls. He urged me to keep my dreams
alive, to find joy in every sunrise and every raindrop, knowing that his spirit
would forever be intertwined with mine. The email became a lifeline, pulling me
from the depths of despair and reminding me that our love was eternal, even if
our time together had been brief.
In recent years, I transformed my life to honour Matt's
memory. The memory that he was always so proud of the work I did or the efforts
I made to better me. Each success was a testament to the love I had lost and
the love that would forever linger.
Matt's legacy will live on in me.
In the quiet moments, I would sit beneath the twinkling
stars, cradling a cup of Starbucks, and feeling Matt's presence in the rustling
leaves and the gentle breeze. I know that our love was an ethereal thread
connecting us, a bond that transcended the confines of earthly existence.
And so, our story became an elegy—a melody of forbidden
love, shattered dreams, and enduring remembrance. Our love story is a reminder
that love, no matter how forbidden, has the power to touch souls and create
ripples that will resonate for eternity.
---
Grief is a relentless storm that rages within the heart, tearing apart the fabric of one's existence and leaving behind a landscape forever changed. When that grief is born from the loss of a cherished friend who was also a soul mate, the pain cuts deeper, the wound more profound. Such a loss is not just a departure of a person, but the unraveling of a unique bond, leaving behind an emptiness that cannot be easily filled.
In the email, Matt implored me to remember our love as a
tapestry woven from the threads of our souls. He urged me to keep my dreams
alive, to find joy in every sunrise and every raindrop, knowing that his spirit
would forever be intertwined with mine. The email became a lifeline, pulling me
from the depths of despair and reminding me that our love was eternal, even if
our time together had been brief.
In recent years, I transformed my life to honour Matt's
memory. The memory that he was always so proud of the work I did or the efforts
I made to better me. Each success was a testament to the love I had lost and
the love that would forever linger.
Matt's legacy will live on in me.
In the quiet moments, I would sit beneath the twinkling
stars, cradling a cup of Starbucks, and feeling Matt's presence in the rustling
leaves and the gentle breeze. I know that our love was an ethereal thread
connecting us, a bond that transcended the confines of earthly existence.
And so, our story became an elegy—a melody of forbidden
love, shattered dreams, and enduring remembrance. Our love story is a reminder
that love, no matter how forbidden, has the power to touch souls and create
ripples that will resonate for eternity.
---
Grief is a relentless storm that rages within the heart,
tearing apart the fabric of one's existence and leaving behind a landscape
forever changed. When that grief is born from the loss of a cherished friend
who was also a soul mate, the pain cuts deeper, the wound more profound. Such a
loss is not just a departure of a person, but the unraveling of a unique bond,
leaving behind an emptiness that cannot be easily filled.
A soul mate is not always a romantic partner; it's
someone who understands you on a level that defies explanation. They are the
one who hears the words you don't say, who senses your emotions in the
slightest of gestures, and who mirrors your essence in a way that feels almost
transcendent. Losing such a friend is a journey through a labyrinth of
emotions—each twist and turn revealing a new layer of the connection that has
been severed.
The initial shock of their absence is surreal. It's as if
the world has shifted off its axis, leaving you untethered and adrift. The daily
routines that once felt comforting become reminders of their absence—a cup of
coffee shared in silence, a text message with an inside joke, a favorite song
that now feels hollow. Their presence used to be a constant, a beacon of
familiarity in a chaotic world, and now that beacon is extinguished.
As the days unfold, grief takes on many faces. There's
denial, the stubborn hope that they might walk through the door any moment,
that it's all just a terrible misunderstanding. There's anger, directed at the
universe or fate or even at the friend for leaving you behind. Guilt, too, can
creep in, for not having said or done enough, for moments that were stolen by
life's distractions.
But it's the ache of longing that truly defines the
struggle to overcome the loss of a soul mate. It's the phantom sensation of
their presence—feeling them beside you when you turn your head, hearing their
laughter in the wind—that jolts you awake in the middle of the night. It's the
way you still reach for your phone to share a thought, only to remember that
there's no one at the other end. It's the conversations you have with them in
your mind, the ones you wish you could have in person.
Grief is a journey that demands its time frame. No calendar can dictate when the pain will lessen and when the memories will bring more smiles than tears. It's a process of learning to live with the absence, of finding ways to carry their essence forward with you. And it's a process that doesn't just heal—it transforms.
Overcoming the loss of a friend who was also a soul mate
is not about forgetting; it's about finding a new way to remember. It's about
embracing the bittersweet beauty of the moments you shared, even as you yearn
for more. It's about channeling the love and connection you had into your own
life, letting their memory fuel your passions and pursuits.
In time, the pain may not fully subside, but it softens.
The memories that were once sharp and piercing become gentler, like well-worn
pages in a cherished book. You begin to find solace in the knowledge that the
impact of their presence will forever be a part of you, shaping your choices,
influencing your perspectives, and guiding you through life's journey.
In the end, the loss of a good friend who was also a soul
mate is a testament to the depth of human connection. It's a reminder that the
pain we feel in grief is a reflection of the love we've experienced. And while
the void they leave behind may never be filled, the space they once occupied
becomes a sanctuary for their memory, a place where you can visit whenever you
need to feel their presence once more.
---
My dear Matt, my mind knows you died, yet I sit here day
after day, waiting for you to come back.
I am sitting here, looking at your picture, wondering why
you couldn’t be part of my future. Uncontrollable tears stream down my face,
while my heartbeat starts to race. I ask God why he took you from my life, and
it was more painful than stabbing me in the heart with a knife. I still needed
you here. You were always the one to make everything so clear.
When you died, a part of me died too.
You passed away before I even had the chance to make you
proud and that kills me everyday.
I would walk forever to see you again. Losing you has
been so hard on me. I thought in time, it will get easier but it's getting
worse. The regrets and the pain are so intense, at times, I can hardly breathe.
I wish I could see you one more time and that you would
come walking through the door. But I know that is impossible and I won’t even
be able to hear your voice anymore. I know you can feel my tears and you don’t
want me to cry, yet my heart is broken because I cannot understand why you had
to leave. And I always pray that God will give me the strength and somehow get
me through as I struggle with the heartache that came when I lost you.
I miss you dearly since you passed away. Nothing and no
one could ever take your place. You meant the world to me. You were irreplaceable
and always will be. You were truly one of a kind.
You were proof that there were good guys in this world. I
don't think I would ever be the same knowing you're no longer here. Thank you
for the years of friendship and beautiful memories. One day, I will meet you
and Pete again and I hope we can pick up from where we left off on this earth.
My mind knows that you are in a better place and you are at peace. I understand that, I just wish I could explain it to my heart. There is an empty space in it that nothing will ever fill. We will meet again but until then, you will forever be etched into my memory.
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