It took me years to understand the depth of this trite-as-ever quote.
Most of the time, we’re incapable of comprehending certain philosophies until we’ve endured them first hand. Sure, it makes sense to keep your enemies close, so you can keep tabs on them and seek revenge by pouring ice buckets over their heads when they least expect it.
But, I learned this isn’t what the famous quote intended to preach at all.
After going through life and encountering many enemies, I came to learn the quote means something a little more Buddhist and a little less vengeful.
I encountered my first enemies when I was in Secondary school. I was hated by many because I always got what I wanted…. Branded items…. The boys…..
A few years later, I made more enemies when I started dating big names and made more when I started doing well career wise.
Even till this present day, I am making enemies almost like I am a pro at it! Today, the enemies are mostly from the social media frenzy. People who think I am getting more attention than them from well-known people online.
Look! I am a nice person. Well…. I can be nice and I can be a real bitch but I am mostly nice unless you really step on my toes then you will regret it.
All these enemies …. They are the ones who decided they would disconnect themselves from me because of jealousy and chose to do that and talk behind my back instead. If they only could be adults and just be nice, they would get the same attention. But they decide to play the back stabbing game….so be it.
Luckily for me, I’d been through enough of this bullshit, and at this point, I knew better than to cry about it or let it bother me. I laugh at how childish these women are and how desperate they are to get the attention they think I am receiving. Instead of internalizing public hatred and making myself miserable, I brushed it off like a pro.
I forgave them because I didn’t realize until later that karma truly is reliable.
So forgive, but don't forget. Forgive your enemies because they are either insecure, giving in to societal pressures or going through something that makes them feel good about making you feel bad.
You will never cease to make enemies, no matter how old you get, but if you learn how to deal with them — to forgive them — rather than to let them chip away at you, you’ll be ahead of the game.
Confident people don’t seek to bring others down because they’re too busy working on their own empires. Knowledge plus confidence, whether gained through books or “street smarts,” equals open-mindedness.
Open-minded people tolerate whatever situation you’re going through and whoever you are, regardless of what “being you” entails.
If you surround yourself with enough knowledgeable people, the once-in-a-while bully won’t even be a glitch on your radar.
Don't forget, though, we learn the most we know from our worst experiences; your enemies will teach you who to trust and who not to trust. They’ll force you to build character. They might even inspire you to help others through your experiences.
If nothing else, they make for great stories.
And, despite the fact that each enemy had his or her own agenda and channeled his or own hate in different ways, they all did something great for me: They shaped who I am today.
So really….. What does it really mean to keep your enemies close?
We strive to keep friends close in order to enrich our lives. We're also inclined to appraise our interpersonal bonds with consideration for the degree of "closeness" we share with one another. For these reasons, most would instinctively assume that a friend ought to be kept closer than an enemy, and this notion is only strengthened by our natural inclination to move away from unpleasantness towards the pleasant.
This particular idiom is intended to make you think, and it achieves this by creating discord with your expectations and beliefs. At first, the thought of keeping an enemy closer than a friend—or close at all for that matter—sounds preposterous, and this compels you to ponder the idea.
Now, why would you keep an enemy closer than a friend? The closer an enemy is to you, the more intimately you will come to know their capabilities, strengths, weaknesses, tendencies etc. You can use this knowledge to your advantage. A close enemy is also one you're privy to the whereabouts of, so you're much less likely to be caught off-guard.
At another level, an enemy has much—if not more—to teach you about yourself.
Superficially, your own capabilities, strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies will emerge more prominently in the presence of an enemy, and this serves as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Even deeper, you can learn from the very animosity and opposition which exists between you and your enemy. We can choose to reflect upon why we are enemies with the person in the first place—does it all boil down to a misunderstanding? Am I prejudiced? Not only can we benefit by having our beliefs and capabilities challenged by opposition, but as we develop our understanding of an enemy, we may experience a shift in our regard for them. We may begin to view an enemy with less antagonism, and perhaps in times even come to know them as a friend.
“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” means to keep them close, as silent reminders, so you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Today, I am strong.”
** “I DON’T DISLIKE MY HATERS, THEY DISLIKE ME. I’M DOING NOTHING WRONG, I’M JUST BEING ME.” **
